Is Forever Enough?

Chapter 6

Derek woke up in an uncomfortable position and a tried to roll the kink out of his neck. He could hear noises drifting from the kitchen and smell the coffee being brewed.

He struggled for a minute to remember where he was, glancing around at the fashionable living room. It dawned on him that he was in Mark's apartment. His head pounded, reminding him how many scotch's him and Mark had downed after leaving Izzie's.

Throwing the blanket off of him, he padded into the immaculate kitchen. There he found Addison, dressed in her best Gucci suit and heels. She had taken the time to look extra nice since it was her first day back at work. Peyton was sitting in a bouncy on the table struggling to catch the colorful fish mobile that danced above her.

"Well good morning sunshine!" Addison greeted, walking over and handing him a bottle of Tylenol. Derek looked tired and worn down. He had no reply as he moved to pour himself a cup of coffee.

Addison sat down at the table with her own coffee and bagel. "Mark's already at the hospital, he didn't want to wake you, I assumed it's been awhile since you've drank that much." Derek groaned and nodded, sitting down beside her to sip his own coffee.

Addison could tell her was miserable and Mark and filled her in on last night, but she didn't want to press the issue with Derek. His eyes glanced at Peyton, noticing the baby for the first time. "Wow...she's getting so big." He reached out to touch the child and Peyton cooed and smiled at him loving the attention.

Derek seemed mesmerized in the tiny baby and Addison sat back and took it all in. "She loves her uncle Derek." Addison said, but Derek seemed lost in his own world. "I keep forgetting how small they are...it's so hard to remember Ava like this.." He was talking more to himself half forgetting Addison was there at all. "We always planned on having lots of kids. I always wanted lots of noise and chaos.." He looked up at Addison with sudden pain in his eyes. "But...I guess I kind of ruined that..."

Addison pushed her chair closer to him, "You will have more kids Derek, you guys will make it through this. In fact, I'm sure the make up sex alone will produce at least two more in the next two years.."

She was smirking, making light of the situation and he smiled, hoping she was right. "How could I have done this? I should have learned from practically destroying our marriage..." He was beating himself down now and Addison couldn't handle seeing him like that. She moved closer to take his hand in hers to get him to focus on her. "Derek, you know you were not the only reason we got divorced....you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and go tell Meredith all of this."

Addison felt bad for him, but also knew that she couldn't let him just sit and mope around. Both him and Meredith were both avoiders, and she was not going to let either of them avoid this for too long.

Derek's hands were running through his hair causing him to stick up in all directions. He was getting frustrated, Addison could tell by his actions. "She's stubborn Addy. I doubt she'll even let me talk to her at all..." Addison stood up to lift Peyton from her carrier, some what annoyed with his reply.

"Derek Shepherd...." She began raising her voice. "She loves you, trust me. Just go to work, find her and arrange a time to meet. Don't hover, don't get all sad eyes, just ask her to talk later." Derek chuckled a little, realizing how well Addison knew him. "Why don't I take Ava for the night, that way you guys can hash things out having to worry about her." Derek stood up shaking his head. "Addison, you have enough to deal with having Peyton, Ava doesn't just sit still....she's a handful." Addison laughed. "That's the point, I'm trying to get Mark used to having more than one child around!" Derek's eyes grew wide. "Are you pregnant already?" Addison hit him on the arm and he mocked a fake ouch.

"Not yet! Mark really only wants one child, but I want more and I plan on being pregnant by December." Derek raised an eye brow at her. "Addison, that's less than 5 months away, why so soon?"

She looked at him pretending to be appalled. "Derek, I wont be young forever!" Derek sighed, moving to put his mug in the sink. "Yeah...me either." She watched as he looked down at the floor. "Derek, stop it! Go talk to her! Before I kick you for being a downer!" He smirked at her, and brushed a hand softly over Peyton's fuzzy head.

He kissed Addison Platonically on the cheek. "Thanks for the coffee and the sofa." He replied before walking out. She could hear the front door close and turned to her daughter who was laying peacefully in her arms.

"Pey...can you believe I was married to that ball of emotions?" Peyton cooed and seemed to laugh in response and Addison smiled knowing her daughter was going to be just like her.

Meredith rubbed her eyes, as she scrubbed in for her first surgery. Coffee did nothing to aid her exhaustion since she had gotten no sleep the night before. She was in her last years of residency, picking and choosing her own surgeries.

Today her mission was to do as many as possible to keep her mind off of Derek. Her plan worked well, until a few hours into her first surgery. She glanced up into the gallery out of habit only to be met with two piercing blue eyes staring back at her.

Her heart sank as her and Derek locked eyes for the first time. He sighed and tilted his head showing her how sorry he was. Her heart ached and she turned back to her surgery willing herself to stay focused.

Later in the day she found refuge outside, nibbling on an apple in peace. She had not seen Derek the rest of the day and was some what surprised he had not been more smothering.

She heard him approach and neither said a word as he sat down beside her. "Meredith...can we talk?" His voice was sort of nervous and in any other circumstance, she would have found it cute. She looked at him, instantly knowing he was exhausted as well. A part of her was glad he was suffering as much as she was.

"I don't really want to get into it here..." She was still mad at him and knew the hospital was no place for the discussion that would surely end in some form of argument." He watched as she picked at her apple, barely eating any before throwing it into the trashcan beside her. "I know...Addison wants to take Ava for the night...do you want to come home and we can talk after your shift?"

Meredith wanted to go home badly. She wanted to just crawl into bed with him and forget the whole fight ever existed, but she knew that she had to fight for their marriage now. She couldn't avoid it any longer. Meredith nodded yes, afraid to speak for fear she would break down in front of him. She thanked her lucky stars that his beeper went off.

He kissed her, brushing his lips across hers before rushing back into the hospital.

"Hey, Meredith, what happened last night? Izzie called me all 'Meredith left Derek...boo hoo...' Izzie like but of course I was on call.." Cristina said to Meredith as she ran up behind her in the parking lot.

Meredith shifted her bag onto her other shoulder and stopped so her friend could catch up. "Yeah...he blew off our meeting yesterday and I just...couldn't handle it anymore. We're supposed to talk about it tonight."

Cristina frowned not liking Derek's actions. "Izzie said he came to the door all mc-guilty last night. You look like crap by the way." Meredith rolled her eyes used to Cristina's ability to say whatever was on her mind.

"Yeah, he looks like crap too. Me leaving really upset him apparently." Meredith replied as the two began to walk to their cars. "Well, he should be upset. After all you've had to go through these past few months...he should be balling his eyes out. This is the first time he's noticed you in months and it took you walking out for him to see it? Seriously? He's an ass."

Meredith reached her SUV and opened the door. She nodded, knowing her friend was right. "I know, I'm not letting him off easy...I just don't know what to do yet." Cristina watched as her friend mulled over the possibilities in her head and then changed the subject completely. "How's life been with Tyler having Preston away?"

Burk was spending the month in Miami learning new techniques from a leading heart surgeon. Cristina made a face before replying, "He's been a tornado lately. I swear, that kid never gets tired. He's really missing his dad, he's been tantrum city this week and I called Burk earlier reminding him why I only want one child!"

Meredith smiled knowing Cristina was never the mother type to begin with. No matter how much her friend tried to deny it, she had gone soft for the little boy who inherited his father's good looks.

"How did we get two kids who are so infatuated with our husbands? What happened to the whole ' I adore my mommy' faze...I liked that faze..." Meredith climbed into the car with a sign. "Who knows...I have to go pick him up at Soccer. Call me later, and don't let him feed you any crap!"

Meredith shut the door, still not sure what she wanted to do. She had Ava to think of. The girl adored her father, but at the same time she didn't want her growing up disappointed with him either. 'I have to be strong...' She thought, but somehow she knew being strong wouldn't be easy.