Is Forever Enough?

Chapter 18

Sitting Ava down in front if her Addison dug into the girls tangled hair with a soft comb. Ava sat watching her favorite Disney cartoon happily, enjoying the attention she was receiving.

Addison adored Derek's daughter. When she was first born, it was easy for Addison to be jealous that Derek had a perfect family, but upon meeting the girl she fell instantly in love with her and treated her like her own daughter. From her first birthday on she took it upon herself to spoil the girl rotten with expensive clothes and designer items. Addison wanted her niece to be the best dressed tot in her exclusive pre-school.

Addison didn't want to admit that she was sort of filling the painful void being childless had left her. After months of trying and almost giving up the birth of Peyton was an unexpected miracle and the void was soon filled.

"Ouch!" Ava whined, pulling her head away as Addison finished running the comb through her hair. Slowly, she parted the girls hair and began French braiding it like she had done since Ava's hair was long enough to do so.

Noticing how long her hair was Addison sighed sadly realizing she hadn't really been fulfilling her "auntly" duties the past year. She had been so caught up in her pregnancy and having a newborn that Ava sort of took a back burner.

"When can we braid baby Peyton Sophia's hair?" while she attempted to braid her Unicorn's long purple mane of hair. "Hmm..I don't know, I don't think she'll have a lot of hair for awhile"

Braiding the girls fine hair did not take long and once she was done Addison held up the mirror for Ava and watched as the girl beamed into it. "I look pretty!" She said posing into the mirror until Addison took it away smiling.

"Baby Peyton is lucky to have you as her mommy." Ava blurted out suddenly intently focused on the stuffed animal in her lap. Addison was confused and shifted so she could face her.

"Thank you Ava, that was nice of you to say." Addison smiled pulling her into her lap and sitting back with her to watch the rest of the cartoon. A few minutes went by and Addison noticed that Ava was no longer watching the tv. "What's wrong girly?" She asked, unsure of the girls sudden change in attitude.

"My mommy doesn't ever make my hair pretty." She whispered, sliding off Addison's lap and on to the floor. "Yes she does Ava, she just doesn't know how to French braid. That's ok, that's why you come stay with me." Addison laughed it off not really understanding what Ava was so upset over.

Derek had told her that Ava had been acting out, but he failed to mention her sudden hatred for her mother. Several minutes went by and Addison was about to tell the girl it was time for bed when suddenly Ava turned to her and asked, "Can you and daddy get married?" Almost choking on her own saliva it was hard for Addison not to show how surprised she was at the young girls words.

"Why do you want us to get married?" She asked, beating around the bush, confused...and not wanting to get into a talk about her and Derek's past. Mark had told her what Ava had discovered...and though it didn't thrill her, the topic seemed to have been handled, so she never really worried about it much.

Ava crawled back up to the couch next to Addison and threw her Unicorn on the floor. "Cause then you could be my mommy too." Finally allowing herself to breathe Addison let out a sigh of relief...glad Ava's response hadn't been about love, or something much worse like adultery...it wasn't until she allowed Ava's words to sink in that she realized what a strange thing Ava had said.

The girl had always loved her mother, she saw Derek as her hero, but Meredith was always the topic of most of Ava's conversations.

"Why do you want that? You have a mommy!" She asked, in a playful tone...used to mask how confused she was. "My mommy's mean." Was Ava's only response as she stared blankly at the TV not even watching what was on it.

"That's not nice, why do you think she's mean?" Addison wanted to get to the bottom of it...she didn't understand what was going on. Ava didn't answer and Addison had to call her name again before she finally turned to look at her aunt with a cold stare.

Addison's breath hitched. She had never seen Ava look so angry before. "She did something bad and made my daddy leave." Realization dawned on Addison and she went to pull the girl into a comforting hug but Ava moved quickly and pulled away.

"Ava, your daddy would never leave you. Him and mommy were just in a little fight that's all." Shaking her head Ava slid off the sofa and grabbed her animal off the ground. "You made my daddy leave too! Aunt Nancy said you hurt my daddy...mommy did too. I hate her, and I want a new mommy!" Ava stood and ran down the hallway.

Addison sat stunned...she had never seen Ava act out like that. She had no idea what Meredith had gone through the night before. It broke her heart to see the child so upset. The past year had been hard everyone and suddenly Addison felt guilty at the fact that she had let the girl end up like this.

She could see Derek being absent, she knew first hand what it was like and she could see the toll it was taking on Meredith. She should have stepped in long before. She should have talked some sense into him or at least been there for Meredith and Ava.

Mark walked in the door a few minutes later and knew something was wrong by the way Addison was just staring off into space. "I checked on Meredith before I left, she's doing better. Derek seems Ok too." Addison nodded and went to stand up, but thought better of it and sat back down.

"I don't think it's Derek we need to worry about.." She replied before leaning back against the sofa. "Ava just told me she hates Meredith because she made her daddy leave...she also wants me to be her new mommy...even though...she told me I also made her daddy leave..." Mark stared at her, taken back by the girls harsh words.

"She's never done that before...I don't think she wants to talk to me...I failed her Mark." Mark leaned against the edge of the sofa and tried to comprehend what his wife was saying. "I should have realized sooner what this was doing to her...I should have stepped in..."

Mark shook his head and moved to sit next to her. "No, she's not our daughter, this was something Derek and Meredith needed to do...he needed to see he was messing up on his own." Mark leaned in to kiss her cheek, happy that for once his life was going ok.

Though he would never wish for any of the things that had happened onto Derek, he always had found himself jealous that Derek had successfully gotten everything he ever wanted, even after his first marriage crumbled beneath him.

"I'll go talk to her. She just needs to see a man's perspective instead of all this girl drama. I'm telling you, she's going to make one hell of a little league pitcher." Addison rolled her eyes and patted his leg whispering "You wish." Before getting up to make her self some tea.

Mark got up and crept his way down the hall hoping that his best friends daughter had not somehow turned into the child from the exorcist.

Mark found Ava in Peyton's nursery. The walls were adorned with an adorable pink and white French toile. It was classy and perfect and screamed Addison. Ava was standing on a small chair peering into the baby's white wooden crib.

Standing at the door he watched as Ava spoke to the baby and Peyton responded happily, kicking her feet and cooing in response. She was going to make a great big sister, and Mark thought that perhaps Meredith's un-expected pregnancy was just what the broken family needed.

"There you are monster. I was looking for you." Mark had always called her this. When Ava was first born Mark offered to babysit for Derek, unknown to Meredith because she would never have allowed it. Ava screamed her head off the entire time and Mark called her monster ever since.

Jumping at the noise Ava turned to him and locked eyes with her uncle. Thinking she was going to get in trouble she quickly got down off the chair. "I'm sorry...I was just talking to her.." She apologized softly hanging her head down, suddenly feeling guilty.

Mark stepped into the room and smiled, not wanting to scare the girl before he could even talk to her. "You're ok, Peyton likes company...she doesn't have any big sisters so she needs you to take care of her." Ava seemed to think this over and smiled, looking back at the red head giggling in the crib.

"If Aunt Addy gets married to my daddy like before..I can be her big sister...right Uncle Mark?" Mark was surprised at this, not really meaning for what he said to come out that way. He muttered a series of curses under his breath before realizing that Ava was watching him intently.

He wasn't sure how he was going to explain all this to a 4 year old...Derek was always good at the kid thing...Mark was the fun one...he joked, he teased...but left the important topics to someone else.

"No Ava, Aunt Addison can't marry your daddy because she's already married to me remember?" Ava looked at him...and frowned, she had not thought of that. Sitting down in the rocking chair across from the crib he watched as Ava went back to interact with Peyton.

Mark hesitated...and sighed...trying to figure out how to say it so the girl could understand...he couldn't exactly say...what he wanted to say...and his attempts that day in the car failed miserably. "Your daddy and Aunt Addison were married a long long time ago, before you were born....but they didn't want to be married anymore."

Ava turned to him and interrupted "Because her hurt him." Shaking his head Mark cringed never in his wildest dreams his screwing over his best friend would come back to bite him in the ass like this. Karma he thought...it's my god damn karma.

"No honey, I hurt your daddy...and he was very upset with me for a long time. Him and Aunt Addison didn't want to be married..so then your daddy met your mommy and they got married and had you." Kind of...he thought hoping Ava couldn't see the confusion on his own face. He wasn't very good at the explaining.

Ava confused face shown back at him. "But Aunt Nancy said...she hurt him...she said my mommy hurt daddy too..." Ava had come towards him now, and attempted to crawl up into his lap.

Of course she did. Mark thought...Nancy never did know when to keep her big mouth shut. "Well...sometimes grown ups get confused. I think she was just confused when she told you that." Ava rubbed her hands over Mark's stubble, something she had always down to him and Derek and seemed to ponder what he had said.

"Your daddy loves your mommy very much. Mommy would be very sad if he married Aunt Addy." The words sounded stupid to Mark's ear's and he hoped Addison couldn't hear him from down the hall. "But they keep yelling...I don't think they love anymore."

His heart broke for the little girl. She was too young to be worried over this. She shouldn't be talking about love, or hate, or divorce. "Sometimes mommy's and daddy's yell and fight...but they still love each other. Your daddy loves you and your mommy so much. And your mommy loves you and daddy a lot too, that's why they've both been so sad lately."

"Is daddy going to come live with us soon?" She asked looking longingly into Mark's eyes. Mark really didn't know what to say. It seemed like Meredith and Derek were on the path to fixing things...but then again...you never could tell with them.

"I bet he will. Maybe you should ask Daddy that tomorrow when you see him." Ava smiled, seeming to be happy with that answer and looked back over at Peyton's crib. "Can I hold her Uncle Mark?" Mark smiled...and was content thinking that maybe his little talk had gotten through to the girl. After all, he didn't want her being dark and damaged like her mother.

Picking up his daughter and placing her into Ava's waiting arms in the rocker, he watched as the older child interacted with the infant. Ava really was going to make a great big sister, he wished he could tell her, but that wasn't even something he was ready to get into. Where babies come from is something he never wants to discuss ever.

Ava sang to the baby just like she had done to her own dolls not realizing that sooner rather than later her life would change dramatically.