Is Forever Enough?

Chapter 15

A tear slid down Meredith's cheek and she slid down the pale yellow wall of the hallway. Kicking off her shoes she pulled her knees up and wrapped her arms around the protectively listening as toys and shoes were chucked on the inside of Ava's closed bedroom door.

The adorable pictures of Ava at different stages of her young life that lined the hallway rattled and threatened to crash to the floor. Meredith had tried for the past two hours to calm her daughter down, but finally gave up when the bedroom door was slammed in her face.

Meredith, who hadn't cried the whole night was finally starting to sob letting the frustration and tension catch up with her. Ava was a calm, sweet child. She never threw tantrums, she wasn't spoiled, and she had never acted like this before. Meredith didn't know how to handle it, praying her daughter would succumb to exhaustion soon she stayed in the hallway feeling like the worst mother in the world.

The first hour of the tirade she had spent listening to Ava's cries for her father and trying desperately to calm her down. Once Ava had realized Meredith couldn't bring him back she locked herself in her room and began tearing it apart. The sounds from the room worried her and she searched the house frantically for a way to break lock that should have never been on the door in the first place.

Once Ava's cries had stopped there was about a half an hour of silence and Meredith panicked thinking something terrible had happened to her daughter. Placing a hysterical phone call to Derek only left her more upset when he ignored the phone call letting it go straight to voice mail.

Another shoe hit the door and Meredith cringed thinking of the disaster she was going to find in that room...if her daughter ever came out. Luckily, the tantrum had kept her mind off of the horror of that night. But now, left to think, her mind was tearing into her self esteem at an alarming rate. She had possibly ruined her marriage, hurt Derek, and caused her daughter to hate her all in one night. What kind of mother does that...what kind of wife does that?

The stress of holding all her emotions in was creeping up the back of her neck forming a huge tension headache. She tried to cry hoping it would relive the ache in her body but the tears just wouldn't fall.

What seemed like hours later the noise of the front door opening and shutting echoed through the foyer and Cristina's voice soon followed. "Meredith, where are you?" Meredith didn't respond, she was too deep in thought to even notice the intrusion.

A large crash that sounded like it came from high up boomed through the room and Meredith prayed it was not Ava's Madame Alexander doll collection that Addison had been given her since birth. Without a sound Cristina sat down across from Meredith and shifted a brown bag from the liquor store across the wooden floor to her.

Meredith looked up and frowned. "What this...? You know I can't drink.." "I know.." Cristina responded dryly. "You just had to go and get yourself knocked up. "Confused Meredith opened the bag and found a bottle of non-alcoholic margarita mix.

Her mouth turned into a half smile and then it faded away. "Does this mean I'm forgiven?" She looked at Cristina hopeful that her friend would be there for her. Cristina pulled out her own bottle of tequila and held it up. "Yeah...we wont do the whole make up thing...but I figured you could use some company tonight. Mark told me what happened..." Cristina's eyes widened as Ava threw something against the door. Seconds later Disney princess tunes were blaring through Ava's boom box.

"But, he didn't tell me Ava morphed into a teenager overnight.." Meredith banged her head against the wall and sighed. "She heard us fighting...and watched Derek leave. She's been like this ever since. I don't know what to do...she says she hates me.." Cristina stood up and grabbed both of their bottles.

"She's a girl Mer, how many times did we say that to our own mothers growing up...?" Meredith stood up and followed Cristina down the steps. "Exactly...that's what I'm afraid of. I meant it...I can't end up like my mother...I can't have her hating me.." Meredith voice finally broke and she began to cry, letting the tears roll freely down her face.

Cristina turned to her friend realizing for the first time how bad the situation was. "Meredith...she wont hate you, she's just angry. She's exactly like you. She'll get over it by morning...right now we just need to get you calm enough so we can think of a way you can explain things to Derek."

Meredith shook her head and stood up. "No, he wont listen. He hates me now...he thinks I betrayed him...I can't loose him..I just don't know what to do." They both walked down the steps and Meredith collapsed onto the sofa of the living room cringing as she looked at their wedding portrait on the mantle.

Cristina made her way into the kitchen and began making drinks adding double shots to her's knowing it was going to be a long night. She hoped that Mark could talk some sense into Derek before it was too late...and before things spiraled out of control.