Is Forever Enough?

Chapter 9

the next day

"Meredith...are you sure you're not pregnant?" Meredith glared at her friend before leaning into the toilet to be sick again. She flushed when she was finished and went to the sink to brush her teeth. "It's just the flu or something...it'll pass, I'm getting better..." Cristina rolled her eyes. "Yeah, well I had the flu too...and we see how that ended up..." She commented in her usual dry humor. "Well unless I'm the virgin mother it's pretty impossible to be pregnant because Derek and I haven't had sex in two months...no...there is no way it's that..." Meredith ended her sentence abruptly and appeared to be deep in thought.

"Meredith?" Cristina asked, knowing they were already late for their shift...and trying to urge her friend along. Meredith looked at her with worry etched across her features. "Well...my cycle has been really off lately...but I've been so stressed with Derek and all that I just...didn't even think about it..."

Meredith's eyes grew wide and Cristina smirked as the light bulb went off in her friends head. "Last time we had sex...we weren't exactly careful.." Meredith thought back to the memory and cringed at her lack of precautions. Derek had come home unexpectedly after a horrible day of failed surgeries. He walked in to find Meredith in the shower and in an instant he was tearing off his clothes and stepping in with her. He was angry and upset and she could see fire burning in his eyes. Meredith didn't protest as his hands roamed her body and finally stopped their journey in her warm folds. It was the first time he had initiated sex in months and she wasn't about to stop it now. They were both too preoccupied to worry about a condom, and Meredith let him enter her over and over, happy that her husband was paying attention to her.

Meredith shook out of her reverie shaking her head. "Oh god...I'm pregnant....what if I'm pregnant?" She began pacing the small locker room bathroom before finally freaking out and sliding down against the wall to the floor. Cristina found the situation kind of funny but kept her laughter inside knowing it wasn't the best time. "Well, let's run your labs after your first surgery. Then we'll know for sure." Meredith didn't even look up at her as she stood up and began pacing again. "Cristina, I could be pregnant....what am I going to do....I can't handle this right now."

Cristina thought about comforting her friend but opted for simple force. "Meredith Grey...!" Cristina shouted not even bothering to put Shepherd at the end. "We are late. Don't freak out till we know....get your ass out of this bathroom!" Meredith looked at her startled by the outburst but got up and followed her out of the bathroom anyway. It was going to be a long day.

***
Derek sat at his mother's enormous dining room table feeling as if he were under a microscope. He was used to his large over baring family and in most cases would argue he wouldn't have it any other way. But for some reason, on this trip they were purposely trying to be as nagging as humanly possible. The second his sisters had arrived they had been like wolves attacking him with constant questions about Meredith. His oldest sisters, Kathy, and Nancy and their families were the only ones there but of course...being the oldest they were always the most protective of him.

Tonight, it was like they had a sixth sense, they could tell something was off and were waiting for their time to pounce. His mother was being the worst of all and as ten pairs of eyes sat watching him, reading him, he felt antsy. He was glad Meredith hadn't been able to come, for they surely would have noticed the tension immediately.

The day had been great with his mother. As her only grandmother Ava loved spending time with her and currently, out of the 15 children in the Shepherd clan, Ava was the youngest which meant twice the attention. Derek's mother secretly adored the girl as one of her favorites because it was her only son's child whom she had waited so long for.

Derek made the mistake of hesitating slightly when asked by Nancy how him and Meredith were doing and his sisters noticed within seconds. Like wolves they pounced on him with his mother leading the pack. "You don't seem too sure, is everything ok at home Derek..." Nancy asked, unable to keep the condescending tone out of her voice. Out of his family Nancy liked Meredith the least. She tolerated the woman who made her brother happy, but was closest with Addison and still couldn't move past Derek and Addison's divorce.

Before he could reply, Ava jumped into the conversation having been following it from the beginning. The young girl was too smart for her own good and because she spent so much time with adults, she had a knack for understanding conversation. "No, things are not ok because Daddy's trailer house is broken so he sleeps there every night so he can fix it....and mommy gets sad when her and daddy yell so I make her feel better..." His mother's fork dropped onto her plate causing a loud clank in the room and suddenly everyone was quiet and watching Derek. Ava noticed the difference and just started at her dad confused wondering what she had done wrong.

Derek tried to laugh it off, but knew that they knew his daughter too well. She never told tales and hardly ever got information wrong. She was a sponge...who absorbed everything and most of the time everyone used it to their advantage to get information out of her. "Derek, are you and Meredith separated?" His mother's voice was worried but sharp and harsh thinking it was just one more thing he had failed to tell his family. "Uncle Derek are you getting divorced!? Cool, Ava that means you get two Christmas's!" Nancy's ten year old son shouted from the other end of the table causing Nancy's husband to send him an evil look shushing him. Ava just laughed not understanding, but curious as to what divorce meant. "Daddy, What's daworce mean?" She asked, turning to her father who was now staring back at his family not sure what to do.

Nancy and Kathy began talking about Meredith quietly but he could still hear their snide remarks. "I bet she found a new attending to screw with...I knew she was a gold digger..." The kids at the end of the table were arguing over divorce and going on and on about Christmas's and two birthday parties. "Daddy, what's it mean!?" Ava whined trying to be noticed through all the chaos. His mother was trying to talk to him now in her "mom" voice not at all happy with her son's lack of information. Derek was getting more frustrated by the minute and Nancy's next words about the fact that he had not had a prenuptial agreement drawn up sent him over the edge. "Daddy....Daddy tell me!" Ava persisted tugging on his shirt and suddenly his anger boiled over and he screamed, "Not now Ava!" not meaning to take it out on her, but too frustrated to keep his voice low.

The room grew silent again and everyone watched him in shock. He regretted his temper as Ava just looked at him stunned that he had yelled at her. He never yelled at her, unless she was really doing something wrong which usually was never the case. The girl was shocked at first, and then her face turned to anguish and she began to sob loudly. His heart broke and he quickly pulled the girl into his lap but she shied away from him and tried to get down. "I want mommy!" She sobbed causing everyone in the room to glare at Derek. She kicked and wiggled until he let her down and she ran out of the room still crying. Standing up from the table he looked at his mother who was also standing up to go after Ava. "No mom, I'll get her." He wouldn't look at the rest of his family and anger still ran through him. "We'll talk about this later....divorce is not something I want my 4 year old to know or worry about..." He snapped walking out of the room disgusted with himself and his family.