Is Forever Enough?

Chapter 47

A week later, the familiar swoosh, swoosh, swoosh of two heart beats beating almost perfectly in time echoed through the room and put a smile onto Meredith's face instantly. She would never admit how much she worried about the babies. It was hard not to, as they changed, grew, and moved inside of her. She had an instant connection to them that no other person in the world did. There was something powerful about it that she couldn't even describe.

Before every appointment her pulse would race with nervous anticipation. Being a doctor, and knowing all the millions of things that could go wrong didn't do anything to alleviate her concerns. The heart beats stopped once Addison had turned off the machine and soon she was staring at the images on the small black and white screen. No matter how worried she became before and after her appointments, her one touchstone through out the whole thing was Addison. Where Derek provided emotional comfort and strength, Addison was able to settle her fears with the swipe of an ultra sound wand.

She was grateful for the older woman's expertise. She was grateful for the extra attention she received, but she was most grateful for the friendly advice Addison could offer.

"Baby A is to the left of your ribs, just slightly under them. Can you feel her?" Addison asked without taking her eyes off the screen.

"Oh yes." Meredith replied in discomfort.

"Baby B is on the other side...and actually giving us a peek today. Her little foot is..."

"Stuck underneath my rib, I can definitely feel that!" Meredith interrupted, wishing the babies would shift so she could get some relief.

"I'm afraid you'll have to deal with their position for awhile. They'll shift, but they wont really drop until around your 8th month..."

"Uggg..." Came Meredith's groan. "Please don't tell me that. I'm dying here already." Addison chuckled, and Meredith noticed for the first time she could see a small baby bump underneath her friends black suit. Through out everything that had happened, she had to keep reminding herself that her friend was pregnant. She was barely showing, and if it was anything like her first pregnancy she would probably barely show at all.

"Well, I can't say I'm not happy for that. If they were descending I'd be worried. Right now, I see no indicators for premature birth.. If I can get you to 36 weeks I'll be elated."

"Oh...that's good right? That there are no indicators?" She didn't have to ask the question, she knew it, but every time she stepped foot in the office she slipped into patient mode instead of the doctor role she was so used to playing.

"It's very good. But, there aren't always indicators. I don't want to give you a false sense of security. We just have to monitor you carefully."

Meredith nodded, feeling her palms start to sweat from nervousness. She wished Derek was there, he would hold her hand and be strong...even though he would be just as freaked out as her. Almost like she was reading her mind, Addison asked, "Where is Derek anyway?" She asked in a nonchalant way, making it clear she was not asking for her own sake. They still hadn't ended their little feud, and Meredith was beginning to wonder if they ever would.

"Oh...he's um...at his counseling session." Meredith replied awkwardly, not knowing if Derek wanted to keep it a secret or not. It was common knowledge in their group of close friends that they were going to marriage counseling. But, no one knew Derek had been going to a separate session alone for weeks.

She thought she saw Addison's eyes widen in surprise, but before Meredith could comment on it the doctor had hid her expression.

"Wow. I didn't think Derek would ever go to therapy." The woman was still trying to hide her interest. She spoke as monotone as possible, but Meredith could see right through it.


"I was surprised too, but...he's very into this...getting to the bottom of our issues. We go together every two weeks and then he goes alone once a week."


"I'm sure I'm his most talked about issue." She spoke quietly and turned off the machine. Meredith could hear the bitterness in her voice, but she also heard the twinge of sadness.

"I um...actually have no idea what he talks about. I mean, I don't really pry...it's his thing...but..I'm sure you've come up..." The room felt suddenly small to Meredith. It was awkward at times, to talk to Addison about her and Derek's past. They usually just tended to stay away from the topic all together. But, it was even more awkward with Addison and Derek at each others throats. Addison sat down in the chair beside Meredith and kicked off her heels.

"Sorry, my feet are killing me today."

"You were a big part of his life Addison, I'm sure that's why it's talked about." Meredith replied nervously and sat up to pull her shirt down. Her friend had grown suddenly sad, and she wondered if maybe their fight would end sooner rather than later. Meredith rushed to change the subject, not liking the tension in the room.

"How is the house hunt going?" Addison shoes were popped back on her sore feet before she replied, "Awful. Mark has no taste in real estate."

"Hm...I can see that." Meredith smirked. "How many have you looked at?"

"About 15."

"15!?"

"Meredith you can't imagine what horrors are out there. It needs to be big enough for two kids...much bigger than our apartment, not to mention I need closet space...something Mark doesn't understand." Meredith understood, but barely. Her and Derek had never had to search for a house. They could basically build anything they wanted, and that worked out just fine.

"Did you look on Queen Anne's Hill? You know, that's where my mothers house is, they are million dollar homes."

Addison sighed, and looked at her friend, "There was nothing I fell in love with. Not to mention, I really want a nice size yard for the kids too."

Meredith shrugged, not really knowing what kind of advice to give. "I think you'll find something. It's not New York, but there are some nice properties around."

Addison's pager went off on her hip and she sighed. "Pregnant women just can't give me a break today. Take care of yourself Meredith." She called before leaving the room. Meredith laid back, not really feeling like doing anything. Her cell phone vibrated and she knew it was Derek before she even looked at the display.

"Meredith, how did it go?" He asked, and she could hear movement around him telling her he was on his way back to the hospital.

"Good. I'm fine. The babies are fine."

"Just fine?" He wondered. "That's all I get?" She smiled, knowing she wasn't going to get away with her short answer. "Yes. She saw no signs of premature birth."

"That's a relief. Anything else I need to know about?'

"No, I mean it wasn't that exciting."

"Meredith." He said in a warning tone. "Don't make me ask Addison. I'll hate every second of it, but I will ask her."

"She wont tell you anyway." She chuckled and sat up once again knowing she had work to do. "How was your session?"

"It went well. I'm getting more comfortable with it."

"I don't get any details?" She asked rather curiously. After talking to Addison...she really wondered what it was he discussed with Dr. Walsh.

He sighed, and she could tell he was hesitating. "Just...my past. College, Addison, being married right after med school."

"Oh. Ok." She worried that there were things he would tell the therapist before he told her. It made her kind of nervous. But, hearing that he was talking about Addison eased her worries a little.

"Is that Ok?" He sensed her silence as a bad thing.

"Yeah...it's just...you would talk to me too right? You know...if there was anything we needed to talk about...about us...you would tell me right?" She rambled off causing him to smile.

"Yes. I would."

"Really?"

"Yes. I know we're not the best at talking...but I would...I will talk to you once it comes up." She smiled, believing the intense comfort in his voice.

"Ok, that's good."

"It is good."

"I need to talk to Mark today about letting George come back."

"Hmm...good luck with that."

"Oh thanks." She joked and got ready to leave the room. "Are you on your way back?"

"Yes, I'll be there soon. If you need any food rations tell me now before I get too close..." He teased, but she knew he was actually being serious.

"Well, you could meet me in your office later. I can think of some needs that could be fulfilled." He was silent for a second, and then she heard him clear his throat.

"You're killing me you know that?"

"It's a good death though."

"Damn right it is. Page me later, I have two surgeries later...so I'm not sure I'll be able to meet you before you leave."

"Well, I'll just have to go else where then."

"Right. No one else could handle you." He joked.

"I know. I'll see you later Derek." She hung up the phone before he could utter any pet names in her hear. She wasn't in the mood to be lovey dovey.