Is Forever Enough?

Chapter 19

Derek entered Meredith's hospital room much more confident then he was the day before. He was dressed in his dark blue scrubs with his white coat flung loosely over his shoulders. A large brown paper bag crinkled in his hand as he shut the door.

Meredith looked up from her magazine not surprised at having another visitor. She had had non-stop company all day from her friends. They prodded, and poked, and she loved them for it, but the person she really had been longing to see was now standing before her and she couldn't help but smile.

Scanning her, he frowned at the tray of uneaten hospital food that sat in front of her. It took him only a few strides to make his way to her bed, taking time to more closely inspect the food.

"You have to eat Meredith, you need the energy." He lectured knowing he was going to get glared at for it. Letting out an annoyed huff she pushed the tray away from her and threw her magazine to the end of the bed.

"I'm bored. I can't take much more of this. I've watched three episodes of jerry, 2 stupid ER shows, and read more magazines than I can count...I NEED to go home." She rambled on, not liking the confines of her hospital room.

Expecting this reaction he just smiled and adjusted the bag in his hands. "Tomorrow at noon, I'm picking you up and taking you home. But until then...you need to eat." "The food is awful as a patient Derek!" She interrupted, fully annoyed now.

Smirking Derek paid no attention to her tirade. He kind of enjoyed listening to her....it seemed like forever since she was angry at something that was not him. He held up the bag in his hands eager to show her what was inside.

She didn't want to look...and finally her curiosity got the best of her and she gave him her full attention. "I got done my surgery early...and a little birdie told me you weren't eating..." Meredith arched an eye brow and cursed at Cristina under her breath.

Placing the bag on her tray he pulled out each item one by one knowing he'd win her approval. Her eyes danced like a kid at Christmas as he pulled out a cheeseburger, large fries, and vanilla milk shake. With the new items on her tray he removed the unwanted hospital food and looked at her smugly.

Her face crept into a smile and his heart couldn't help but flutter at seeing her smile at something he did. "Derek...I don't even know what to say." She was speechless, utterly speechless. It had been so long since he had gone out of his way to please her, it almost felt like a dream.

She blamed her hormones. Something so simple as a fast food meal was making her eyes water with sentiment. "I wasn't sure what you were in the mood for...so I just went with the most unhealthy thing I could find." She shook her head in approval as she dug into her fries not even bothering to take a breath before sucking down a good bit of the milkshake.

He laughed, a big throaty laugh that felt foreign to him. "I know when you were pregnant with Ava you loved milkshakes...I wasn't sure if that was the case now.." Suddenly the laughter was gone and his face had turned more dark and serious. He seemed to be contemplating something and Meredith noticed the change immediately.

"Have the cravings started yet?" He asked...feeling a little left out of the loop. He was going to be a father...again...and yet he barely new anything about his wife's pregnancy. He didn't even know how far along she was...or her due date...and the thoughts suddenly came to him draining all the happiness from his features.

Sensing the tension in the room Meredith sat down her food and looked at him, willing him to ask her the questions he so longingly wanted to know the answers to. Feeling suddenly awkward she spoke up, not wanting to sit in silence any longer.

"No, I mean not really...you haven't missed anything don't worry...not like you wouldn't mind missing that.." She joked, trying to bring light to the suddenly dark room and it fell short as Derek did not respond.

He looked away from her and sat down in the chair next to her bed. "You're making light of it.." He ran his fingers through his hair and couldn't suppress the groan that came out of his mouth.

She shook her head feeling stupid for even joking about it and went into action trying to make it better. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that...it's just...it's still early..."She trailed off not even finishing her thought. Derek looked up at her his expression unreadable.

"I just feel out of the loop you know? Jesus...I don't even know how far along you are." He was looking at her, his eyes reflecting all the pain he was feeling. Meredith was going to apologize again, she was going to cry and get upset, and tell him how sorry she was for keeping it from him, but then in an instant she decided it was best to move on from that.

"I was about six weeks along when I had the first ultra sound...Addison did it just as a precaution. I um...I didn't even see it coming. One day, while you were in New York it just hit me...all the symptoms were there...I just didn't see them. I'm almost 9 weeks along now...and I haven't really gotten a due date yet."

Meredith told him, in one long sentence, barely pausing to breath. He listened, intently, taking it all in. She watched him, waiting for him to say something, knowing he was just thinking it all over in his head.

"I still just can't even believe it, we're having a baby...well two..." Derek took a sandwich out of the bag he had brought and busied himself unwrapping it. "We're going to be back to the bottles...and diapers..." "And not sleeping.." Meredith interrupted voicing her own concerns with the pregnancy.

Derek looked at her again and finally got the courage to ask her what had been digging into his mind since the night before. "Do you want to have this baby? I mean...are you excited?" Meredith barely took a moment to think before giving him her complete honest answer.

"I didn't at first...I thought...'what a horrible time to be pregnant..' but then...I could just imagine having another beautiful kid like Ava...and I was sold."

"And now that you know it's twins...are you still sold?" He was asking because he had to know, he had to understand what she was thinking if they were ever going to work through things.

Meredith smiled and reached for her milkshake again. "Well, I'm scared shitless...but I think I'm even more sold now." She sipped the foamy shake through her straw watching Derek out of the corner of her eye.

He smiled, a genuine smile. "Yeah, me too." He replied softly...still smiling and watching her in awe, wondering just how he ever got so lucky.