Is Forever Enough?

Chapter 68

Methodically, and yet rather forcefully, Addison scrubbed at her hands. She took her time rubbing the moist sponge over her knuckles and then as if trying to make up for it, she hurried over her palms.

Just behind the glass in the OR, nurses were rushing through the prepping process. An intern and a fellow neonatal specialist were standing around the table, waiting rather nervously for Addison to finish.

There was urgency in the air. Something that couldn't be seen or heard, but still overwhelmed the senses. It was everywhere, threatening to over power any one who got in its way.

Addison paid no attention to the nervous doctors or fumbling nurses. Her mind was focused and alert, and refused to let anything distract her from the procedure she could practically perform in her sleep.

The water burned her skin, but she barely felt it as she picked at the almost invisible dirt under her nails. The worst case scenario everyone had feared was unfolding before her, but she was surprisingly calm, proving she was the best in her field for a reason. She refused to let her mind wander, if she did, she'd be forced under by waves of fearful thoughts. Shaking her head she shook any negativity away.

A shadow passed over her, and she barely noticed as she shut off the water, letting it mix with the remaining suds and run down the drain. A comforting hand squeezed her shoulder, causing her to flinch in response. "I don't think you should be doing this surgery." A familiar voice cautioned. Grabbing a paper towel from the holder she turned around to face her husband incredulously.

"What are you talking about Mark?" She asked, her voice dripping with annoyance. He shook his head, letting her know he was serious.

"I'm not joking. I should have put a stop to this sooner. You're too involved in this. This is why we have policies against these things."

"You can't be serious..." She told him, glancing quickly at the clock to her left before looking him square in the face. She got no reply out of him, and her mouth opened in shock. "You are serious." She stated rather bewildered. He had no reply once again. It had been bothering him for a few days, he just thought he would have more time to convince her not to operate on their friend.

"We have policies against operating on family. She's not family."

"She might as well be." He told her and looked at the floor as he did so. She was staring at him with an arched eye brow gearing up for a battle.

"But she's not. They chose me as their doctor, and I agreed....you agreed....I won't go back on that now just because you're worried about breaking some rules."

He finally raised his eyes to look into hers and saw nothing but anger there. Looking down lower, he eyed up her rings that sparkled against the brass pin she had used to pin them to her scrubs. Glancing even lower he could see her baby bump just barely stretching the dark blue fabric. He let out an uncharacteristic sigh and then looked back to her face once again. He had to stand his ground and follow his gut...and his gut was telling him not to let her perform the surgery.

"I didn't expect this to happen when I agreed to it...I figured she would have a normal pregnancy just like her first..." Addison's fists clenched into tiny balls at her sides, and she blew out a puff of hot air.

"That's because you never listened to a damn word I said! I've been telling you I was afraid of this happening the whole time. Especially with her going home for Christmas. I've been telling them...they knew this could happen...that's why they chose me remember? You just decide to listen to what you want, when you want and disregard everything else." She snapped loudly. Her voice was raised enough that nurses in the next room stopped their hurried movements to stare at the scene unfolding before them.