Is Forever Enough?

Chapter 95

The doorbell was ringing over and over again. Sometimes, there would be a loud pounding at the door only to be followed by more ringing of the doorbell. The only person that was awake, in the otherwise quiet house, was Ava, and the visitor at the door was not making the little girl happy at all.

Her bare feet padded against the tile floor of the foyer as she jumped up and down trying to see out the window. The tile was cold against her feet. The morning air made her shiver in her thin Cinderella pajamas, but she was more interested in seeing who was at the door than staying warm.

The knocking continued, and with a frustrated cry, Ava gave up trying to see. The window at the top of the door was too high for her. Getting annoyed, she bravely went up to the door and banged her small fists against it.

"I can't open the door if you're a stranger!" She yelled at it. As if the door was going to respond back, she waited, and when no voice came, she pounded against it once again. "Are you a stranger? I can't see you!" Confused, Ava put her ear against the door and tried to listen. She could feel the cold wind whipping against it, but backed away when she heard nothing else.

The little girl knew, whoever it was should be talking to her. That's what visitors did when they came to the door. 'The person must be cold.' She thought, and shivered a bit herself. But, she knew better than to answer the door alone. Her mind was fighting an inner battle between right and wrong.

With sudden confidence, she let out a groan and threw her hands in the air. "You're not being a really good stranger....you're supposed to tell me your name..." She had no idea that the person on the other side of the door couldn't hear her.

Suddenly, a dark shadow passed by the window and her eyes widened in fright. "Are you the boogeyman? Daddy says you're not real...but...I don't believe him...." Tilting her head, she looked back and forth between the stairs and the door. It would be so easy to escape up the stairs and run away. But, her curiosity was getting the best of her and she couldn't handle not knowing who was at the door.

"Boogieman...are you cold?" The door bell rang suddenly, taking her off guard, and she jumped before letting out a scream. The boogieman had been in her bed the night before...he could be on her porch now...waiting to get her. As her imagination got the best of her, the doorbell kept ringing, and suddenly, Ava was not okay with the situation.

"DADDDDYYY!" She yelled up the stairs. "The boogieman's at the door. He's here, he's here." Her voice echoed through the entire house. There was no way her father couldn't have heard it, but as she stood patiently waiting his arrival, she realized he wasn't coming.

The pounding on the door was getting louder and louder and a muffled voice started talking through the door. "Ava, Ava, I'm gonna eat you." It said, over and over and in a state of panic, her second call to Derek came out as an ear piercing shriek.

"Help, help! He's coming in! Daddddy!" She knew instantly Derek had heard her. From upstairs she could hear a loud thump and then footsteps racing down the hall. Finally, his figure appeared at the top of the steps.

Practically running down the steps, he said, "Ava? What is it? What happened?" His hair was standing up in every direction and his clothes were a wrinkled mess. It was the second time he had woken up in panic and his body was not responding to it well.

Reaching the bottom of the stairs, he grabbed onto the railing and took a deep breath. Ava was not in any life threatening danger, and realizing that, the adrenaline flowing through his body came to a halt. The sudden high and then low hit him with a shocking blow and he had to hold on to the railing tightly to keep the world from spinning around him.

It took him a few seconds to recover, and taking a few more deep breaths, he focused his attention on his daughter. "Ava, why were you screaming like that? You scared me." He asked sternly, unable to control the way his body ached for sleep.

"The boogieman's at the door! I saw him! I'm not allowed to open it, but he's here, he's gonna eat me!" Ava was getting more and more worked up, and she didn't like the fact that Derek was not hanging on her every word. He wanted to, he really did. But, he was tired. So tired, that just the small amount of energy it took to stand up made him sick to his stomach.

Pulling on his arm, Ava didn't pay any attention to his distress. He was forced out of his groggy haze by her surprisingly strong pull. He had no idea what time it was...or how long Ava had been awake.

Running his hand wildly through his hair, he tried to pretend like that fact didn't upset him. What had Ava been doing while he slept? Letting his concern sweep over his features, he tried not to sigh too loudly.

"Ava, the boogieman isn't real." He told her, finally forcing a smile in her direction. It wasn't her fault he was tired...it wasn't her fault she had woken him up. He had to remember that, for her. "How long have you been awake?"

"Yes there is, daddy, I saw him. Hurry, come here." She yanked on his arm again and forced him to stand in front of the door. She ignored his question, and Derek was going to ask again, but the doorbell rang, stopping him mid-sentence.

Ava dashed behind Derek where she could hide and grabbed onto his legs. "He's gonna get me! Hurry, daddy, tell him to go away!"

"Who the hell could that be?" He mumbled under his breath. Ava was still attached to him, and it was hard to unlock and open the door with the extra weight.

"No! Don't let him in, even if he says please. He's mean!" Getting exasperated with Ava, he took a deep breath and tried to calm himself down.

"Ava, I don't think the boogieman knocks at the door." He responded in an even tone. A rush of cold air hit him in the face like a ton of bricks as soon as he pulled the door open. Feeling Ava shiver against him, he frowned at her lack of appropriate attire.

Mark was standing on the porch with his cell phone against his ear looking wind blown bewildered. "Jesus, Derek, I was starting to wonder if you were still alive. I heard Ava scream." Instead of acknowledging his friend, Derek turned to his daughter.

"I was wrong, it was the boogieman." He responded dryly, and Ava peered around him until she saw Mark.

"Uncle Mark, did you chase the boogieman away? Daddy wouldn't do it." Looking at Derek in confusion, Mark just shrugged and tousled her golden hair.

"Sure I did. He's no match for me." Moving aside and letting Mark step into the warm house, Derek watched as he shut his cell phone and took off his gloves. "Don't you answer you're phone anymore? Addie's in the car waiting, I think she was about ready to call the police."

Looking past Mark, Derek saw Addison getting out of the car and left the door slightly ajar. "It's on silent so it wouldn't wake the babies." He was trying not to be rude to the unexpected guest, but he really was in no mood to entertain.

"Was he big and purple with green hair and orange teeth!" Ava wondered, staring up at Mark in admiration. "The boogieman I saw last night looked just like that. Was it him? Did you send him away?" Derek sent Mark a look, silently begging him to say yes so that the subject could be dropped once and for all. He wasn't sure where the boogieman fear had even come from.

"Ahhh...well...yes he was big and purple actually. He was kind of ugly too so I knocked him out and told him to leave. You don't need him hanging around anyway."

"You hit him" Ava asked in concern, knowing exactly what Mark had said. Letting out an exasperated sigh, Derek threw his hands up into the air and glared at Mark.

"No he did not hit him." He told Ava, taking her hand and tugging her away from the cold draft of the foyer. Mark shrugged off his jacket just as Addison walked through the door. "Great, now the party can began." Derek huffed, in a tone low enough so that only Ava could hear. He didn't know where his bad mood had come from, but he suspected it was a mixture of exhaustion and starvation.

Leading Ava into the kitchen, he could hear the footsteps of his friends behind, but he didn't turn around. "Oh Derek..." Addison whispered sympathetically, once she had made it in. "You look exhausted."

Watching Ava climb up to the island counter top, he caught a glimpse of his reflection in the microwave and knew it was true. He was still in the same clothes he had arrived home in almost a full day before. There were dark circles under his eyes and his skin looked dull.

"It was a rough night." He replied, fumbling around for his coffee beans.

"I know. Meredith called me." She said, while she handed Peyton to Mark and took her own coat off.

"Yeah, baby Peyton!" Ava squealed in excitement and Derek cringed as her voice rang in his ears.

"Princess...please don't scream." Looking at him in concern, Addison stepped away from her husband and walked towards Derek.

"Derek...are you alright?" He wasn't alright, she knew it, but getting him to admit it would be a challenge.

"I'm just exhausted." He said and smacked Addison's hand away as she tried to smooth down a piece of his out of control hair.

"Daddy....my belly is really hungry." Ava whispered, obeying her father to an over exaggerated degree. Glancing at the clock, it read 11:00 AM and he had no idea how it had gotten that late. Frowning, he realized Ava was probably starving, and despite the way his body protested, he whipped into action trying to prepare something for her to eat.

"I'm sorry Ava...what do you want? You can have cereal....or toast....or....dammit we don't even have bread for toast." He cursed as he slammed a few cabinets shut. A headache was starting to build behind his eyes with such intensity that even the smallest amount of light was hurting him.

Looking worriedly towards Mark, Addison walked back into the foyer. Her steps were silent, and Derek was grateful she had decided against a pair of her stilettos that day. When she came back, she had a bag in her hands and a carrier with several coffee cups on it.

"Don't worry about it Derek. We brought breakfast." Ignoring the fact that she knew Derek was about to protest her actions, she opened the bag and pulled out a box of fresh doughnuts. "Here Ava, do you want one?" Mark was busy peeling off Peyton's outer layers, and Derek just looked on as Addison pulled out box after box of different bakery favorites.

"Can I daddy? Please?" Ava pleaded, and the fact that she had to beg for breakfast brought tears to his eyes.

"Of course you can Ava." He assured, being sure he took a moment to smile at her. He couldn't control the way his body felt. But, he was trying his best to make sure Ava knew it wasn't her fault.

"You guys didn't have to do this..." Derek argued, once Addison had placed a coffee cup in his hand. He was trying to ignore how good the aroma smelled, and how great the liquid would feel slipping down his throat.

"It's what godparents do." Mark told him, after being persuaded to by a glare from Addison. Rolling her eyes, she knew she should have just done it herself.

"Well, we came to meet with the contractors this morning. And since Meredith had said Caroline had a tough time last night...I figured I would stop by and check on her. I guess it's alright to assume breakfast was a good choice? Seeing as you two look like you haven't eaten at all." She would not let Derek feel guilty about accepting their meal.

Too tired to argue, Derek gave in, and took a large sip of his drink. He felt slightly better once the caffeine had entered his system, but it wasn't a complete fix. Ava had devoured her doughnut, and licking her fingers clean, she asked for another.

Addison handed it to her before Derek could even process her request. "I brought bagels and pastries too...I wasn't sure what you would be in the mood for."

"Actually, Addison wasn't sure what SHE would be in the mood for, so she bought have the store." Mark taunted.

On any other day Addison would have teased back and Derek would have gotten in on it too, but, the kitchen just fell into an awkward silence, reminding Addison that her ex-husband was definitely not himself.

"Where's Meredith?" She wondered, trying to shake off the silence.

"Upstairs...sleeping maybe? I don't even know." Derek's entire body seemed to deflate as he spoke. He was having trouble even holding himself upright. Noticing the change, Mark put a hand on his shoulder.

"You want to sit down Shep? You don't look so good."

Shaking his head, Derek lied. "No, I'm fine." He didn't know why he was so reluctant to let his friends help him. Maybe it was stubbornness, or pride, but he couldn't just sit down and let them see how awful he really felt.

"No Derek, I don't think you are." If Derek looked that bad, she couldn't imagine what Meredith looked like. Shaking her head, she realized she was going to have to force him to accept their help. To her surprise, Derek didn't argue, and it further compelled Addison to step in.

"Go get the babies." Addison commanded, not caring that he looked at her like she was insane.

"Addison..." He started to say, but she wouldn't let him get another word in.

"Derek, go up stairs and bring them down here along with anything else they will need through out the day." Mark stood there, making faces at Peyton to divert his attention. The plan had not been his idea, and he knew Derek was not going to go for it.

"I think they are content where they are." He argued, placing his coffee cup down on the counter.

"No, they will not be content if their parents pass out from exhaustion."

"I told you I'm fine!" Derek snapped, unable to handle being told what to do by his ex wife. He could handle caring for his children. Ava eyed Derek carefully and then turned towards Addison.

"He's cranky that's cause' the boogieman kept him up all night." Ava's reasoning was funny enough to ease some of the tension in the room, but it did not change Derek's stubbornness.

"I know he's cranky." Addison said to Ava, and then looked at Derek, "That's why you should bring the babies down here and we can watch them while you and Meredith get some sleep." Once the meaning of her words hit him, Derek understood why his friends were there.

He was too tired to argue, and not in the mood to yell, but it didn't keep him from putting up a small fight. He couldn't just let them care for his children. "Absolutely not." He shook his head firmly to make a point, but his words had had very little meaning to start with. "I'm fine. Meredith is fine...we just need to get adjusted that's all." Derek thought maybe if he told himself the lie enough times it would come true. "Don't you have work?" He asked Addison, and then turned to Mark. "And you have been awfully quiet this whole time. Don't you have a hospital to run? What did she do, drag you out here?"

"I actually let Burke take over for the day, I needed a break..."

"And I've been taking more days off lately to get things ready for the baby and the house." Addison cut in, but Derek interrupted her.

"And I'm sure taking care of two newborns is exactly how you wanted to spend your day off? Please don't make us your charity case for the year Addison, I really can't handle that right now." He told her gruffly. In that moment, he just wanted them gone. Once they left he could go back to bed and figure out how he was going to fight off the headache that had gone from bad to worse.

Arching her brow, Addison was partially offended by his comment. Narrowing her eyes at Mark, she forced him to step in. "Actually, I was the one who suggested watching the girls for awhile." Mark blurted, realizing he had to speak up before Addison killed him.

Whipping his head around, Derek stared at his friend first in disbelief, and then in humor. "Really? Mark Sloan got up this morning and said, 'I think it'll be fun to watch 4 kids?' I doubt that." Derek wasn't proud of the sarcasm in his voice, but he couldn't find an ounce of energy left in his body to care.

"You're right, it's not my ideal version of a good time...." He started to say and the stare he got from Addison made him change courses. "But, we were already out here anyway, and Addison wanted to check on Caroline, so what is the harm in letting us watch them for a bit?"

Mark could see the wheels in Derek's head spinning. It's not that he wasn't grateful, because he was. But, letting someone else take on the burden of caring for his three children while he slept just didn't seem right.

"This isn't charity Derek. We're your friends, we're their godparents, you can't expect us to just let you and Meredith take this on alone. Premature twins are not easy, there aren't many people out there who can handle that plus a four year old without help."

Derek was listening to her, and the part of him that was so dead set against agreeing was slipping away. Meredith would let them, he was sure of that. She seemed to be able to know automatically when something was too big for her to handle. He wished he could be that way too.

Sighing, he looked at his friends with heavy eyes. "I feel too bad saying yes."

"I know." Addison admitted, because she had known before they even arrived that he would not agree without an argument. "Listen Derek, there is no shame in getting help. You and Meredith have done an unbelievable job of managing all this on your own for the past few months but now, you need to accept that you wont be able to do it all. Just go rest for a few hours. Ava will be entertained, the twins will be safe, you may actually have the energy to enjoy the experience later."

Sometime during Addison's speech, Derek's resolve cracked. No matter how much pride he had, he couldn't lie and say that he wouldn't give his left arm for a few more hours of sleep. Looking towards his daughter, he noticed her blue eyes were sparkling with more excitement than he had seen in awhile.

"Daddy, if you go to sleep maybe you'll want to play with me later." Her innocent words broke through the last of any lingering doubts. She had been basically alone in the house all morning, it couldn't have been much fun for her. He had to let to let Addison and Mark help.

"Alright." He nodded, hesitantly. "I guess there really isn't anyone more qualified to watch them..." Addison didn't say anything, but she smirked in triumph.

"Go and get the little monsters so we can get this show on the road." Mark joked, ignoring the look Addison sent his way.

"I know you did not just refer to my children as monsters..." Derek trailed off, finishing his coffee in one long swig.

"What?" Shrugged Mark in reply and then pointed to Ava. "She's big monster and they're little monsters...it's endearing." Derek couldn't help but roll his eyes.

"Coming from you I guess it is." Derek mumbled. He went to leave the room, but Addison stopped him.

"Wait, bring these with you!" She exclaimed as she piled a box of bagels and two more cups of coffee into his hands. Derek stared at her like he was about ready to argue, but Addison stopped him once again. "Meredith needs to eat too." She told him sternly and he left the room with a shake of his head.

Derek didn't reappear until twenty minutes later and when he did, he looked more exhausted than before. Everyone was still in the kitchen where he had left them, but Addison and Mark were now seated at the counter top with Ava.

He noticed Ava was still shoving sugary doughnuts into her mouth, and he wondered what Addison was thinking. It made him somewhat satisfied to know that Ava would be bouncing off the walls for his friends and not him and Meredith.

Both Addison and Mark turned to look at him as he walked in. "They just ate an hour ago." He told them, as he sat each carrier down on the floor. It was much easier to carry them around in their carriers, he was still nervous about hurting their fragile frames.

"Oh my god...I really think they have gotten bigger since the last time I saw them." Addison exclaimed, and got up to examine each girl.

"They shouldn't be hungry for about two hours, and Ella is usually the first to want to eat." He was trying to remember the list Meredith had made him memorize, but his brain was fuzzy, and knew there were things he was forgetting. "Ella doesn't like to be in the swing but Caroline does...and no matter how much Ava begs she is not allowed to wake them up...there was something else.....I just can't remember..." Derek scratched his head deep in thought, but Addison held up her hand and stopped him.

"I spent six weeks with them in the NICU Derek. The girls will be fine."

"Alright...." Derek said, glancing at the babies one last time. "We'll be upstairs if you need anything just come and get us."

"They will be fine." Assured Addison, not even looking at him as she picked up each carrier and walked away. Mark just shrugged his shoulders.

"It's the hormones." Instead of replying, Derek walked over to Ava.

"Will you be good for Aunt Addison and Uncle Mark?" He asked, kissing the top of her head.

She was too busy chewing to reply, but she smiled and it made him feel better knowing Ava was happy, despite his horrible attitude.