Is Forever Enough?

Chapter 74

Several hours after Meredith had met her daughters, Derek stood in almost the exact same spot in the NICU. It was almost 6:00 PM and the room that was usually buzzing with visitors was practically empty. The soft ocean music playing out of the sound system dulled the usually tense noise of the monitors. Little black curtain like things had been draped over incubators holding babies who no longer needed the bright fake sun lights.

Some incubators had signs attached that said, "Shhh..I'm sleeping." His own girls were still under the lights, but the simple tape that had been protecting their eyes had been replaced with sun glass shaped protective fabric. Their signs said, "Let me sun bathe in peace." It wasn't cute or homey like the nursery he had custom made.

He had been shocked the first time he had seen the girls in the neonatal intensive care unit. Derek had barely noticed any of the surroundings. It was white, and sterile, and uncomfortable. But, now that the babies had passed the 24 hour mark with flying colors, he was able to take in the details of the room. Everywhere he looked there were little signs which boasted events of celebration. One said, "I gained a pound today!" and another said, "I'm an inch longer than last week." The nurses and doctors loved their patients enough to celebrate their tiny achievements and that made him grateful.

Ella and Caroline's incubators were already filled with stuffed animals and pictures that neither him or Meredith had put there. Someone had taken the time to carefully hand paint two plaques that read, "Future Doctors in Training." Just 24 hours old, and already the girls were loved by everyone.

"Is that a tear I see in your eye?" A voice dripping with sarcasm said, and Derek turned around to find his best friend grinning at him. Derek offered him no excuse and stepped away from the babies in order to talk to Mark.

"Don't you have a hospital to run? Or nurses to hit on?" Derek replied with the same dry humor Mark had thrown at him.

"No one listens to me anyway, and Addison's too hormonal for me to flirt guilt free."

"Aww...poor Mark can't flirt, women everywhere are weeping for you." Derek turned his head towards the scrub room window and Mark followed his gaze to his wife's fiery red hair.

"You're a little cranky today. It's this nursery. What is this your tenth time today?" Derek hadn't taken his gaze off Addison. Below the window, out of his line of sight, he knew Ava was in there being shown how to get the germs off her hands.

"Where else would I be?" He replied in a serious tone, and Mark's expression softened. Realizing Derek wasn't following his banter, he let it drop and gave his friend a meaningful look.

"I would be doing the same thing." Mark acknowledged with a nod. Under his tough exterior he hid a soft side that would probably have broken to pieces if it had been put in his friend's situation.

Derek looked at him, almost testing to see if he was making fun of him. But, seeing his serious look, Derek nodded in return. With a sigh he turned his gaze back to the babies. He was exhausted, though he'd never admit it. His mind was about to explode from both the physical and emotional toll the past two days had taken. Even though each hour brought his daughters closer to being healthy, each hour also brought new fears, concerns and emotions.

He not only worried for them, but for Meredith and Ava as well. His body was coiled up like a tight string, and he wasn't sure when that feeling would go away completely. "Addie thinks Caroline will be off the respirator in a few days. They had a good day today." Derek told Mark, but Mark couldn't tell if his friend had meant to say it to him, or to reassure himself.

"I know. I've been in here twice today." Mark replied, causing Derek to look at him in shock. With a sheepish smile, Mark shrugged his shoulders. "Well, I was just making sure my staff were doing their jobs." He replied, but Derek just arched an eyebrow.

"Since when do you actually do your job?" Derek asked incredulously, not believing his friend for a second. With a huff Mark let his hard exterior crumble. Derek already knew the answer, but hearing his friend say it was much more fun.

"Alright, so I wanted to make sure they were okay. They are my newest nieces after all." There was a hint of humor in Derek's eyes, but he didn't open his mouth to make a joke. It was actually a nice gesture coming from Mark. "Not to mention, I'm still in the running for godfather right? So this will earn me some points."

"You need all the help you can get." Derek teased, not wanting to embarrass his friend with how touched he really was. He hadn't discussed the babies' god parents with Meredith. They hadn't even filled out the birth certificates. His mind immediately turned to the next day to figure out when he could fit those important details in. With premature babies, anything not regarding their health was bumped to the back seat. It was so different than Ava's first days of life.

"Seriously, what is Addison doing in there? It's not rocket science. Throw some soap onto Ava's hands, add some water and lets get this show on the road." He shot out in his usual tone. Derek knew Mark like the back of his hand. When things got too serious or emotional he would turn to humor in order to build back up his tough walls.

"I should have been a psychologist." Derek accidentally said out loud, and Mark just narrowed his eyes at him, understanding what his friend meant.

"Actually you should have been a plastic surgeon. Then you'd be rolling in dough about now. Do you know Seattle general just signed on a new head of plastics for 12 million a year? Imagine that."

"Yeah, then I guess I could build a god awful monstrosity of a house to match yours." Derek enjoyed the annoyed look on his friend's face.

"It's going to grow on you. By the time it's done you'll want one just like it." Mark knew that was far from the truth. "The whole frame is almost done now. They don't think it'll take as long as they originally thought."

"That's good, at least the mud and dirt will be gone. I'd like to be able to walk outside without ruining my shoes." Derek replied, but honestly couldn't remember the last time he had been home to actually see the house being built.

"Are you boys done shooting jabs at each other? There are babies trying to sleep." Both men turned to find Addison narrowing her eyes at them. Ava was at her side, dressed in a green scrub gown that dwarfed her small form, making it look like a huge dress. She had gloves on and a nurses scrub cap over her head which she had insisted on. It wasn't necessary, but cute none the less.

"Oh, Doctor. Shepherd, I didn't know we were performing surgery on the babies today." Mark told Ava, bending down slightly to push the too big hat out of her eyes. It amazed Derek how fast Mark could turn his sarcastic humor off and his loving uncle voice on.

"Uncle Mark...you're silly. I'm not surgerying the babies. I'm just seeing them." All three adults laughed, but Ava looked at them in confusion and they bit their tongues.

"Then why are you dressed like a surgeon?" Mark asked in a much more teasing tone, trying to get her worked up. She had Meredith's playfulness and could handle his banter. Thinking her uncle was the craziest person in the world she replied, "Because I'm a doctor, not a surgerying doctor like daddy, just a doctor."

"Ohhh." All three chimed in, once again barely being able to contain their laughter.

"Well, in that case doctor, do you want to go visit your sisters?" Derek asked, and loved seeing Ava's eyes dance with excitement.

"Of course. They are waiting for me." Ava replied, in a very serious tone.

"Oh wait, don't forget this." Addison called, and handed the girl the pink stethoscope that had been hanging from her neck. It hung down below Ava's chest like an over sized necklace. Ava beamed up at her like she had just received the best diamonds in the world.

"A real live stetacope?"

"Oh yes, all doctors need a stethoscope." Addison told her, knowing she was probably the only 4 year old who knew what a stethoscope was.

"You think that kid's destined to be anything but a doctor?" Mark asked, as he watched Derek hoist Ava into his arms and carry.

"Not with those genes." Addison replied, but her eyes never left the girl. Addison needed to examine the babies, but instead she stepped further away and pulled Mark along with her.

"Let's let them do this alone." She told him, and he agreed without hesitation.