Is Forever Enough?

Chapter 103

"I can't believe I'm actually doing this." Meredith admitted to Addison who was sitting on the sofa beside her. It was a week after Valentine's Day, and they were both sprawled out in Meredith and Derek's large family room. Dozens of perspective nanny applications were strewn across the sofa, coffee table, and even the floor. Some had post its on them, some were crumpled up, and others were sitting untouched in not so neat stacks. The scene seemed hectic, but Meredith had a system, and it was working for her.

"I can't believe Derek is letting you do this without him."

"Are you kidding?" Laughed Meredith. "He almost jumped for joy when I told him you were coming over to help me. I think he assumed he'd have to bribe me to do this. Besides, I'm just picking out girls I want to interview, he'll be there for the actual interviews."

"I'm sure he will be." Addison responded in amusement. She could only imagine how particular he would be when hiring someone to watch his kids.

"Well, if this is anything like what we went through to find a daycare for Ava, it will probably take awhile."

"Didn't you look at four different places?"

"Five actually." Meredith corrected, while she flipped through an application. "I was seriously starting to think I'd have to quit work, because we had the hardest time finding a place." After only glancing through the pages for a second, Meredith sent it sailing across the room into the trash pile.

"This shouldn't be as bad. The agency must have sent out at least 30 applications. It's definitely more than I had to choose from." As Addison finished talking, a tiny cry pierced through the air and both women froze. Looking towards the swing, they held their breaths in the hopes that the baby wouldn't start to fuss.

Derek had taken Ava to the zoo for "their day" and Meredith had been confident that she could handle both babies on her own. Everything had been fine so far, and she prayed it would stay that way. Ella and Caroline were so young that they still slept a lot. Taking care of them was fairly easy, unless they were both crying.

"It's El." Whispered Meredith. "I'm hoping she'll fall back to sleep. She was up every two hours last night." Nodding in understanding, Addison stayed quiet until she heard Meredith breathe a sigh of relief. Ella had drifted back to sleep and the room fell into silence once again. "For some reason, Ella refuses to sleep as much as her sister."

Smiling, Addison tilted her head to glance into the swing that was set up on the other side of the coffee table. The babies had grown so much in such a short time. It was heart warming to see the once fragile infants thriving. Even though they were growing steadily, they were still able to fit into a single swing.

"They're both not going to be able to fit in there much longer." Addison remarked, enjoying the way Caroline was snuggled up against her sister. Meredith, who was busy scanning over another application, looked up from the paper.

"Good. Kathleen sent us two matching swings, it'll be nice to get use out of the other one too. I can't wait until they're caught up weight wise." Because of their premature birth, the babies were the size of infants who were just weeks old, not months old.

Clicking her tongue against the rough of her mouth, Addison took her eyes off the babies to send Meredith a warm smile. "They will catch up soon enough. Soon, you wont even be able to tell they were premature." Addison was able to assure her, because she saw it in her line of work everyday.

Nodding her head in silent agreement, both girls went back to looking over applications until Addison said, "This one is really good." Thumbing through the papers she was holding, she read aloud some of the things that she liked. "She has ten years experience, an excellent driving record, and great references."

"Experience is good." Replied Meredith, and held out her hand so that Addison could hand the papers to her. However, after only a quick glance, Meredith made a disgruntled noise and sent the application flying through the air. It landed on the ground with a light thump.

Arching a disapproving eye brow, Addison scoffed, "Meredith, that was a good one. She even had experience with twins!"

"She's sixty-five, Addison." Meredith defended. Her friend was staring at her with a dumbfounded expression, so she knew she's have to elaborate. Sighing in discomfort, Meredith massaged her left shoulder. They had been looking over applications all morning, and it didn't seem like they were getting anywhere. "I don't want an older woman."

Addison was shocked, and made no attempt to hide it as her eyes widened. "I want someone younger, someone with endless energy. Someone...who wont have any problems getting on the floor and playing with them."

"Are you insane?" Addison asked bluntly. If Meredith was offended, she didn't show it. She had made up her mind on what she wanted and nothing was going to change it.

"No." Meredith responded coolly. "It took a lot of convincing for me to even go the nanny route. If I'm doing this, I want it to be someone I'm comfortable with. I don't want a grandmother telling me how to raise my kids. I want a twenty-something year old who will love my kids like they're their own during the day, but be glad to give them back at night."

Just as she finished speaking, Ella let out another warning cry and started to stir. Getting up in a rush, Meredith scurried over and pushed a pacifier into the baby's mouth. With a gentle brush of her hand against Ella's cheek, the baby dozed back to sleep.

Tip toeing back to the sofa, Meredith was relieved Ella and Caroline were still sleeping. She wanted to get the majority of the applications sorted before Derek got home with Ava. Sitting down and facing her friend, she knew by the look on Addison's face that the older woman wasn't going to understand her reasoning.

Nodding her head, Meredith gave her silent permission to speak. "It sounds great Meredith, it does...." The red head trailed off, hesitant to say what was on her mind.

"But...?" It was unusual for Meredith to be the one coaxing someone to speak.

"Well, do you really want some young girl taking over your life?"

"What?" Meredith asked immediately, completely bewildered by the question.

"It happens all the time Meredith. These hot, young nannies come into your house under the disguise of watching your kids, but are really looking to steal your life right out from under you. I hired someone older on purpose, so Mark wouldn't be tempted to trade me in for a newer model." Addison was talking about it like it was the most normal thing in the world. Did people really fear these things? Meredith didn't...and she was sure she never would.

"Seriously?" She wanted to laugh it sounded so ridiculous, but Addison was being serious, so she kept her laughter at bay.

"People have affairs all the time. It's bad enough there are hot women at the hospital, why bring one into your house? It's just asking for trouble." Meredith didn't understand Addison's reasoning. Addison had had an affair...she had cheated on Derek...but Meredith kept those thoughts compressed in a tiny ball in the back of her mind. It wasn't her place to bring it up.

Scrunching up her nose, deep lines appeared across Meredith's forehead. "You don't trust Mark?" Since marrying Addison, Mark had completely transformed from a womanizer, to a faithful husband. They had problems, as everyone did. But, he made it clear that Addison was it for him. She had tamed him. Everyone knew it, and Meredith didn't understand how Addison could think any differently.

"Of course I do." The red head defended. "But, dangling a hot, young girl in his face is like dangling meat in front of a crocodile." Glancing to the side, and then back at her friend, Meredith tried hard to understand.

Unable to keep her thoughts to herself, she asked, "So...I'm just supposed to get an ugly, older woman so that Derek wont be tempted to cheat on me? And, if I don't, and he does so happen to cheat on me with her, then...it would be my fault? Because...I tempted him?" It sounded ridiculous when she said it, so much so that even Addison rolled her eyes.

"No, I'm not saying that. I'm just saying...why even take the risk?"

"It's not a risk. It's doing what is best for my children." She replied indignantly. "And...Derek would never cheat on me." She bit back with a shake of her head. There wasn't even a doubt in her mind. But, it was troubling her that her friend didn't think the same way about Mark. "Mark wouldn't either."

"I know." Assured Addison, although her words didn't match the uncertainty that had manifested in her blue eyes.

"Do you?" Wondered Meredith, her tone turning suddenly sympathetic. She was nervous that Addison and Mark's marriage had drifted back onto unstable ground.

"Sure I do." Addison lied, and lied badly. Her confident resolve was starting to crack as it so often did when she had a lot on her mind. Taking a deep breath, she shook her head. "Most of the time I do. But I can't help but wonder what would happen if an attractive nurse caught his attention." Her words were filled with insecurity, and Meredith sent her a sympathetic smile.

"I'm not gonna lie and say he doesn't notice attractive women." Meredith told her, and Addison laughed, despite being upset. "This is Mark we're talking about. The world would be off balance if he wasn't looking at women." Letting their giggles fill the room for several seconds, Meredith's tone then turned serious. "But, that's just him. It's who he is. He loves you, and everyone knows it. There is no way he would cheat on you."

"I guess so." Addison said, feeling a little better. "I'm sorry, it's these damn hormones. I swear carrying a boy is twice as bad as carrying a girl."

Frowning, Meredith picked up a fresh stack of applications. "I doubt that. My emotions were pretty out of control with the twins."

"You were carrying Derek's children...I'm not surprised." Addison teased, but her tone was serious.

"Derek and Mark aren't cheaters." Meredith said after awhile, as if her mind had finally remembered what they were originally talking about. "But, if Derek wants to run away with our hot, young, nanny...than he better be prepared to run pretty far, because he could never step foot in this city again." Meredith was able to joke. Derek's resolve to fight for their marriage all year had made her certain that him having an affair was implausible.

Smiling, Addison agreed. "They'd both have to run off together. They could live in some cabin in the middle of no where with no money or family, because I'd take the kids....and the money." Meredith had given Addison confidence, so she was able to joke too.

"Me too." Giggled Meredith. Flipping through the application, she made an excited noise when she found one she liked. "She's not that pretty." She told Addison, and it was the red head's turn to burst into laughter.