DC Headcanon's 6: Sparkle Sparkle!

Shock and Awe

"Florida, do you know how to call Indiana?"

"You don't know how to call your own father what kind of son are you?"

DC's head snapped up and stared at the peninsula confused.

"What?"

"I'm just saying, if I could call my dad, he'd still be around." Florida said and DC face palmed. Why, out of all the states (and he was in love with four already), did he have to fall for Florida?

"Indiana isn't my dad." DC mumbled, squeezing his temples.

"Really? I could've sworn-" Florida said thinking back to post-Civil War, and looking through the windows of the home they kept all the southern states and watching Indiana walk out with DC and his sister.

"Can you just call him? Please?" DC begged already at the end of his rope and cursed his heart for thinking Florida was cute. Florida shrugged, maybe DC just had a bad relationship with his dad, it was quite common among the states.

"Sing the Indiana Jones theme song."

DC needed a drink.

No, he needed several drinks.

West Virginia seemed convinced he deserved a gold star for finding all the cases and his dad, he told his dad what time the meeting was and begged him to please set an alarm, but of course Georgia showed up like he just woke up, which he probably did.

At least Florida found it funny.

DC was rubbing his temples as California and New York filtered out, inviting him to come hang out with them when his head decided to stop throbbing. Florida was back with Georgia trying to catch the southern state up, and DC just wanted to die.

Eventually Florida dashed out, going to cause some chaos with Louisiana, leaving Georgia and DC alone.

"Did I do alright son?" Georgia asked.

"Did you not set an alarm?" DC asked, looking at his dad.

"No, no I did. It was cold in the house, you know how your papa is with the heating. I didn't want to get out of bed." Georgia explained. DC glanced up and furrowed his brow at the blanket wrapped around his dad's shoulders.

"Please tell me papa wasn't asleep when you took that."

"Oh he wasn't, he was off to his shop. He's awfully excited when he gets to be called to the table." Georgia explained. DC couldn't help the soft smile on his face.

"I missed ya dad." DC said softly, leaning over and giving Georgia a hug.

"Now stop that, you and your sister saw me last week!" Georgia said with a laugh, returning the hug, just as Florida burst through the door again.

"DC we need to borrow your--WHOA." Florida yelled as the two broke apart.

"Not after last time, Florida." DC said with a sigh.

"I thought you didn't know any of us until this year?" Florida asked, putting his hands on his hips. Georgia looked at DC questionably.

"He's really one of the ones you're--"

"Yes." DC said with a sigh. "Florida you know how insistent you were that Indiana was my dad?" Florida nodded. "Well he's not, Georgia's my dad." Florida looked between the two men in shock, looking for any sign that this was a joke.

It wasn't.

"YOU'RE HIS DAD?"

DC took the paper from his boyfriend and sighed.

Louisville. That would be how he'd call his papa to the table.

He looked up at Florida, who looked excited, then back at the paper. He was never going to hear the end of this.

"Louisville?" DC said, hoping to hide the sigh in his voice. In a quick flash, Kentucky appeared, and DC tried not to die inside when he saw he brought the 'Daddy Andy' picture with him. He was hoping dad would be able to hide it, but either he didn't get that memo or he was asleep again.

"It's pronounced lou-a-ville." Kentucky corrected, and DC could almost feel the wink in his direction, teasing that he'd never had been able to pronounce that name even when he was a kid.

What he didn't expect was Florida and Kentucky to get into an argument.

Kentucky wasn't overly protective of who his children dated, although he was starting to get that way towards DC with his past, but it was clear Florida got under his skin. By the end of the meeting, DC was begging for that drink again.

"Did I do alright? Geo said I didn't have to get all dressed up." Kentucky asked after the meeting.

"You did fine papa, but the picture. Did you have to bring the picture?" DC asked.

"Hey now, you've met daddy Andy, you know he's a good man." Kentucky pointed out.

"Please stop calling him that."

"Hey Tuck, no hard feelings today." Florida said with a grin, jumping up.

"Papa, it's okay." DC whispered, taking Kentucky's arm before he could yell at his boyfriend. "Florida, Kentucky's actually my second dad."

"WHAT?" Florida yelled, banging his hands on the table.

"Y'know, when I said find a good southern boy or girl to date, I didn't mean Florida." Kentucky whispered.

"I am dating Texas too." DC pointed out playfully.

"Who's next in this gigantic family of yours? Is Massachusetts your cousin? Is Canada your mother? Are you committing incest with Loui?" Florida yelled.

"No, no, and ew." DC shuddered. "Kentucky and Georgia just raised me and my sister since birth."

"I'm surprised you didn't know that Florida, considering." Kentucky pointed out.

"I was a kid, you think I can remember who's related to who?" Florida asked.

"He's got a point." DC said with a shrug as Kentucky stood up.

"I got to go back, the shops got this beautiful new car in for repair and I want to play around with it." Kentucky announced squeezing DC's shoulder. "See ya Sunday."

"See ya Sunday papa." DC said with a smile. Kentucky smiled back before turning to Florida, glaring at him.

"You treat this boy well you hear?" Kentucky hissed.

"Oh, so you threaten me but not the four other boyfriends he's dating?" Florida asked.

"I don't trust you." Kentucky announced before leaving. DC sighed and slumped back in his chair, thankful the painful part of the day was over.

"So is there anyone else in this giant salad or are you going to tell me next you're part of an alien race now?" Florida asked, making DC face palm.