Untouchable [Kylo Ren Mafia AU]

Monday Mornings

The room is freezing, even with my pile of blankets on top of me. I hear the heat kick on in the walls in my room. My cheeks are flushed from the last orgasm that just shook my body to its core. I dreamt of them again last night. I woke up wanting and needing release.

I finally pull myself out of bed and begin to get ready for work. Monday mornings are the hardest. I think everyone can agree on that. My shower turns my flesh pink and blotchy, soaking up all the heat I can obtain before leaving the steamy room.

My outfit of choice today is an all-black classic double-breasted blazer by Alexander McQueen, a lace bralette underneath, and matching slim fit black dress pants. I finish off the look with leather stiletto McQueen's. It's my signature look. My white hair is pulled back into a low ponytail that is pin straight down my back.

My tea is brewing on the stove as I gather the last few things for work. I throw my phone in my briefcase along with all my other essentials, pour my tea in my to-go cup, and double check that everything is locked. I grab my black wool coat and rush out the door.

"Ms. Steele." Tate addresses me as I speed walk past his office.

"Morning Tate!" I shout back as the garage door shuts behind me and I tuck myself into my Mercedes.

I appreciate him never stopping me to chat utter nonsense in the mornings. He has watched me for the last year drink tea and juggle paperwork every morning to my car. I always wonder if this is his only job. Does the security of a high-end condominium pay well enough to live in the city? He should model.

The steering wheel is freezing to the touch until I turn on the heating feature.

It still is something I am getting used to, money. I never had much growing up. My family was not poor but we spent cautiously. Lower middle class would be a suitable term to define us back then when my father worked several jobs. We had the house with a white picket fence once money was better. My parents always made sure I was well off and safe.

My parents met through mutual friends. My mom was still in high school and my dad was in college. They are roughly six years apart. I never met anyone more in love than them. Our house was never short on love.

My dad started as a painter at his job when he was seventeen. Now he owns that business, twenty some years later. He is my inspiration. I want to make him proud and losing everything I have made for myself would hurt knowing I couldn't live up to his expectations. He deserves a better daughter than I am.

My mother was a stay at home mom. She took such good care of me. She would always say she knew she wanted to be a mom from a very young age. I feel that I lack that maternal instinct that she had. I wish my goal was to meet my soulmate, have pretty babies, and be the picture perfect wife. Unfortunately, that is not the case. I was always jealous but so proud of my mom for knowing exactly what she wanted as a woman. She deserves a better daughter than I am.

I hardly speak to my parents as of lately. They live in Michigan and I moved to New York six years ago. They were not impressed with me running off right after I graduated high school but they never stopped me. I think they were comforted by the idea that if I failed, I would always have a home to run back to.

I love them. I just need to focus on making a life for myself. I never told them about what happened to me. What I experienced in high school and who tore me apart. I could never tell them what really happened. To open that wound again and to spill my deepest darkest secrets of me... they would never look at me the same and I don't think I could handle that. It only took one night to change my life. To ruin my life. Maybe if they knew, they would understand why I needed to leave. Maybe if I opened up to anyone willing to listen, I could better understand myself. To understand what I do and why I do it.