Untouchable [Kylo Ren Mafia AU]

You're Right

The following weeks were filled with speech therapy and a couple injections into my neck which were far from pleasant. Phasma has been here every day for as long as her schedule will allow it. The fear and anxiety has simmered down but continues to linger despite all of my efforts. The nightmares are the worst part now. The nightmares force me to relive those ten days over and over again, leaving nothing out and continually increasing in vividness. Trudgen nearly had a heart attack when I screamed a few nights ago, waking us both out of sleep. The embarrassment nearly killed me but was quickly forgotten as it felt like hot ash coated my throat. Therapy must be working since it was the first time I heard my own voice in over twenty-five days. Twenty-five miserable fucking days.

"Three quick sniffs," nurse Ahsoka commands.

I nod and suck in three times before slowly exhaling through my mouth, focusing on her blue-gray eyes.

"Good," she smiles at me, "three more."

I listen, repeating the sniffs. My throat is tense from the exercises but not nearly as tight as it was when we first started weeks ago. It's nice to actually see progress with these ridiculous exercises.

"Last one for the day, okay?" She stands between my legs and places her hands on my jaw, "Tongue out and pant."

I cringe at this one, feeling stupid, knowing I look like a damn dog. She counts the pants for me aloud, "Three, four, five, six..."

The door closing causes me to inhale funny and I cough. She releases my chin and quickly smooths her hand along the front of my throat, "Through your nose."

I listen, turning away from Ap'lek as he walks into the room. I calm my coughing, focusing on her chest rising and falling, giving me a pace to set for my own ragged breathing.

"Good, good..." she stops rubbing to hold my shoulders and smiles, "we can be done for the day. Drink plenty of fluids and rest. No speaking until Phasma gives the clear." Her eyes dart to Ap'lek before she gathers her things. I watch as she packs, feeling Ap'lek's stare on me as he remains by the door.

"Same time Monday," she calls out behind her as she passes him and the door shuts.

I grab my glass of water and take long sips, welcoming the comfort it brings. Ap'lek takes a few hesitant steps closer, running a hand through his hair. "How are you?" The room is quiet as he waits for me to finish my glass.

I shrug. He grabs the pitcher full of filtered water before filling my glass, "I'm sorry I didn't come sooner."

I chew my lip, ignoring the way he looks down at me through sad eyes. My feelings were hurt when Kylo, Ap'lek, Cardo, Kuruk and Vicrul never came back after that first night. It turned from sadness, to confusion, to sadness again and then pure anger. Now? I don't know what I feel. I've been stuck in this medical room with barely any human contact besides Phasma, Ahsoka and Trudgen for the last twenty-five days. It has given me the chance to feel every emotion towards them possible.

Ap'lek sits in the chair next to the medical bed, "I've sat outside of that door for the last two weeks, not knowing what to say or how to say it."

I study the barely faint bruise along the socket of his left eye. He looks much better than when I last saw him in the elevator.

He wets his lips, "I still have no idea what to say or how to say it but I knew I couldn't wait any longer. I had to come see you." He pushes his hair back, "Did you enjoy the books?"

My eyes travel to the small stack of books that were mysteriously left by my nightstand every couple of nights. I had a feeling it was him but I didn't want to assume in case it wasn't. I couldn't handle another heartbreak if it wasn't him. The silence thickens between us as I glance from the books and back to him. I tried to read one but my mind wouldn't shut off enough for me to concentrate.