Welcome To My Deep 3AM Thoughts

Bruises.

 "She's a pick me girl. It always has to be about her." 

 See, that's the problem I am having with people. Don't get me wrong, I'm not this selfish person and I don't like being the center of attention. I hate that but, I will seek validation where I can find it. It's easy to call it as you see it and judge from your point of view. 

 It's easy for you to make the comment of "you have 500 boyfriends." It's easy for you to sit there and tell me I make the situation about me and victimize myself. That's easy. For you. 

 But, what you don't see.... 

 Is that us pick me girls have never been top priority. Nobody has ever made it about us to begin with. We are the girls that are good enough to talk to, to call, to have problems that don't belong to us, burden us. We're good enough for those after hours hook ups, we are good enough until you realize you can move on and don't need the ego boost. 

 And, hell. Some of us have never had decent attention. Not even from our parents. 

 You're making jokes and belittling pick me girls but, you fail to understand that no one has given us the time of day without walking straight out of our lives. 

 Leaving us bone dry. 

 It gets exhausting. 

 Do you have an idea of what we go through to seek said validation? We give up our morals. We defend, even though it's wrong. We lose a sense of self respect. We turn a blind eye to toxic and red flags. And for what? 

 We do it to simply be loved. 

 Because, while it may seem like we have everything, we don't have the one thing that's supposed to last a lifetime. 

 So, you can judge all you want but, if you ruined yourself time and time again for this bullshit called love, you'd be a little selfish, too.