December 25, 2020.
This year has been a very bumpy ride. I hardly remember who I was last year because, it feels like a lifetime of events happened in 2020. I think we all have been through it this year.
I was tested and stretched beyond what I could possibly imagine but, I think I can finally accept the person looking back at me in the mirror.
It wasn't my year and I don't expect next year to be, either. But, I hope I attract what I put energy into.
No more half assed relationships, friendships, or situationships.
No more taking disrespect just because it's from someone who has been in your life for so many years.
And in my case, I know it's way too much to ask for but, I hope I don't have to step foot into a hospital again.
I watched my mother go in and out of good health, while managing bills in a covid society. I had two failed relationships. My graduation date was pushed back. Family turned on me in time of need. I lost a few friends. The drama was at an all time high. And, here we are. A year later.
My trust issues were gambled with.
My abandonment issues were toyed with.
My BPD found its place inside of me.
My daddy issues are higher than ever.
And what's more disappointing...
Love is nothing but a joke to me.
I am aware fo the work I need to get done. Self improvement and all.
I think this might be worth it.
My brother said he refuses to start New Years the way he did this year and I couldn't help but to agree with him.
I have so much to work on with myself but, at least I have cut all the heads off of snakes in the grass.
It's time to heal.
Grow.
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Welcome To My Deep 3AM Thoughts
PoetryDive deep into my thoughts with me. A break up pushed me over the edge and it's time for a change. These are all of my late night thoughts, fears, and emotions. It gets real and raw and its not for the faint of heart. I hope this helps whoever it re...
