Welcome To My Deep 3AM Thoughts

Cheap Motel Rooms.

 Since you went away, I have been in more motel rooms than I care to be in. Traveling is nice. New sights, new smells, new faces, new memories. But, traveling is something I never wanted to do alone. I wanted to do it with you. 

 The thought of motel rooms haunts me. It's where we should have been. It's what we talked about. Living within the means of limited room in a suitcase is a life I never wanted, however for you, I would've done it. For you, I would have done just about anything. 

 The cheap motels are distasteful. But, the high end 'posh' rooms are a bit out of my comfort. I was never one for chocolates on the pillows and fancy fluorescent lighting. A view of the city never caught my attention and I hate the loud noises anyway. 

 The lights are often dimmed down in the rooms I stay in. The paintings are never straight and it would take one hard slam of the door for them to fall. 

 I always thought the paintings gave the room a story. Everything has a story. 

 Cheap motels are more of my style. Could I afford something better? Of course. Do I deserve better? Of course. And if I was smarter, I would seek somewhere that had better locks. 

 But a part of me likes the wine stain on the bedding. And I hope that is it just wine. I can still smell the cheap perfume of its last resident. Everything is still the same, and maybe that's what I am drawn to. Some places never feel the need to change or update. If others don't like it, they can find better. 

 Maybe I like the old style. Maybe I like the fact that it is just a new chapter and never a new book. Maybe I like to think that my obsession with cheap motels is not the vague truth that I like to travel or to sleep in another bed that is not mine. Maybe I am a homeless person and instead of putting my effort into seeking a house, I would rather get a different room every night. 

 After all, I am a whore right?