winteriron oneshots

famous last words

"Oh boy, I'm not ready to be a parent." Tony sighed as he leaned back against his husband as they were dancing slowly to some low music.

"I've always wanted ta be a parent." Bucky smiled as he had his arms wrapped the man gently as to not hurt his belly, or the man in general.

"I can't wait." He squealed like a little kid.

"Then you have this baby."

Bucky laughed then kissed his neck as he swayed them slowly.

"I love you kitten. Don't worry about the baby, we're gonna be fine. We have this all under control."

Famous last words.

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"Are you sure? You sure you're not just peeing? I mean, that happens a lot when pregnant woman can't hold in their pee." Bucky reasoned with his husband.

"I would know if I'm peeing, Bucky Barnes, I'm not an idiot. I'm in labor, you dipshit!" Tony snapped at his husband.

"Don't give me that attitude Tony Stark."

"Hey! You knocked me up, you better watch your tone, asshole."

"Oh, I'm glad I did. Now I get the last say." Bucky smirked as he stuck his tongue out at him.

"What?"

"Yeah, every time you give me that attitude, I'll just knock ya up." Bucky smirked.

"So ha, looks like we're gonna be like that "Cheaper By the Dozen" movie." He hummed then walked out of the restaurant to go get the car.

"Bucky Barnes!" Tony shouted at him in the middle of the restaurant as the soldier continued walking out with a smug look on his face while everyone else was watching them.

"I'm gonna kill you, James Barnes!"

"Well, looks like we get 'nother baby!" Bucky sang as he walked back in, now with the car, and helped his husband down the steps with a hum.

"We are never having sex again." Tony glared then got in the car and shut the door with a huff as the soldier stuck his tongue out at him then got in the car as well.

"That's what they all say." Bucky hummed then started driving but gasped when the engineer punched him in the arm.

"Ow!"

"Shut up and drive the damn car."

"I am, how else ya think we got away from the restaurant?" Bucky snapped.

"Oh for the love of God, just bring me to the hospital." Tony hit him again.

"Fine."

"Not that one!" Tony glared.

"You wanted a hospital, but not that one! Which one do ya want!"

"At SHEILD!" Tony shouted.

"Obviously!"

"How on Earth is that obvious? Maybe to like, Wanda, who can read minds."

"They told us to go to SHEILD in the beginning! Shows how much you listen!" Tony hit him with a roll of his eyes.

"How could I listen when you had your damn legs up and you weren't wearin' anythin' underneath!" Bucky hit him back with a scoff.

"Of course, no wonder I got pregnant. You're a horny teenager, that's why." Tony waved him off.

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"You're just as bad!"

"I am not! How dare you!" Tony gasped.