I Can't Let You Go

Not Without You

"Jack?" Emilia opened her flat door after someone knocked and to her biggest surprise, it was Kit's brother. "Hi." she frowned. 
"Hi, Can I..." he cleared his throat and looked around. "Come in?" he turned back to her.
"Sure. I... just come inside." she stepped away from the door, and let him in. "Ahm... do not misunderstand me I am glad to see you... but ... what are you doing here?" she did not want to sound rude but Jack's presence really surprised her. "Is it about Kit? Something happened with him?" the worst thoughts came to her mind. 
"No. No don't worry, he is fine. More or less." Jack sighed and laughed a bit. "But there is no extra thing with him" he nodded.
"Do you want a coffee? Tea? Anything?" she pointed towards the kitchen. 
"No." he shook his head. 
"Okay... I am starting to worry. Jack, what is going on?" Emilia narrowed her eyes. "I hope it is not about your mother." 
"No. She is fine too. The whole family is fine." Jack smiled at her. "I just... I am not sure it is a good idea." he slid his hands to his pockets and pulled something out of it. He hesitated before giving it to her. "He... send this for you." he raised the small envelope.
"What is it?" Emilia immediately smiled and opened it. "Train ticket?" she raised a brow. She did not really understand. "Why would I want to go to France alone?" she asked Jack. 
"To be with someone there. At the address which is still in the envelope," he explained but it was so clear he does not agree with this. 
"It... Was it his idea?" Emilia raised her eyes at Jack. 
"After that party... he kept talking about how to solve it. To meet with you. Alone." he nodded. "We tried to convince him that he should ... stay away especially until the child is born but... he is intransigent." he shrugged. "It's getting harder for him to bear that whole thing" Jack spread his arms and sat on the couch. 

"it is not easy I can agree with that." Emilia smiled a bit and sat next to him. She was squeezing the envelope. "But we agreed that... we are not going to do this again." she raised it and put it down to the table. "How the hell he imagine that she won't get to know about it." she sighed.
"She is in Scotland. With her family. Kit... could stay here, because of work. That is the only thing that she allows him." 
"That she allows him?" Emilia turned to Jack and she felt that whole thing outrageous. "Jack..."
"I know it sounds... hilarious. I really want to help him believe me, but we don't have too many chances... we can ask for a paternity test after the child is born, but ... "
"If he was right in it, she could manage that baby... be his child." Em swallowed. "I still don't understand how the doctor did that ... without his permission." she buried her face to her palms. 
"Relationships and money. Everything depends on that in this world." Jack spread his arms. 
"So... "Emilia took a deep breath." You think I shouldn't go... right?" she glanced at him. 
"Does it matter?" Jack laughed a bit "You and him... usually do what you want. Without thinking about the consequences. I just..." he raised his eyes at the ceilings. "I just don't want you to get hurt. Neither of you." he lowered his head. 
"She... spends quite a lot time in Scotland. I even saw that in the news that ... she is there weeks ago." her mind was racing. 
"She is filming. As I know." Jack shrugged. 
"Maybe she just wants us... to make a mistake. Because she is far away and she'll never know. I mean we think she'll never know." she explained her thoughts.
"That is what I am afraid of." Jack nodded. "At least I convince him to not meet you here. In London. That would be the worst idea that is sure. Neither at Suffolk."
"No. Those are dumb ideas that are sure." she agreed. 

"What would you do in my place?" Emilia turned to him. 
"I can't decide it instead of you." he was honest. 
"But you think I shouldn't go, right?" Em swallowed.
"It is one of life's biggest questions. Follow our mind or our heart." he laughed a bit sadly. "Mom also... suffers in it. She should be happy. That she is going to be a grandma but... " he opened his heart for her "she saw how he suffers and it kills her inside that she can't do anything." he lowered his head. "This thing... does not only affect you but many others. That is why ... we need to find some solution. Let each other go or... "
"So you think I should just let him go, right?" Emilia took a deep breath and realized what he wants to say. "Give a chance for him to be the father of his child and ... "
"I don't think that is an option." Jack shook his head. "Even if you let him go. He would never let you go. Not until you not moving on. Maybe if you find someone, maybe... he'll understand sooner or later... " he tried to think sane. 
"I found someone if you forget that already. I started to date Charlie but... he did not give up even at that time. It just... made him more sure that he wants me and he needs to fight for me." Emilia remembered back. 
"True. Kit and his heroic lover heart." Jack laughed again. "Ahm..." he cleared his throat. "He'll be there. At the address. Two days from today. He ... he'll be there and waiting for you. I just... needed to give you that message." 
"Thanks. I appreciate it. Especially because I know you... don't agree with it." she nodded and then she escorted Jack out. She leaned to the door and took a deep breath. She had no idea what is the right decision.