I Can't Let You Go

Tension

"Have you calmed down?" Emilia found him in the kitchen. She took a shower, and he promised her that he'll be there. He wanted to leave, he wanted to punch Phillip out. He wanted to kill him ... there were many things in his mind. He just couldn't believe Emilia did not want him to get arrested or pay for the things that he wanted to do with her. It was nonsense. He just couldn't understand. "Do you... " she stepped closer. "Do you want some breakfast?" she asked him quietly while she stepped next to him and analyzing his face. He was sitting there in silence with a glass of water and staring at the table. "Kit. I ... " she took a deep breath. "I am over it. That happened... and ... you should not be that nervous and mad. I... It happened to me. Not with you." she placed her hands to the table.
"I can't understand... why you don't want to do anything." he shook his head. 
"Think about it." she sighed and placed her hand to his hand on the table. "He ... has political relationships. It would... be a huge mess. A huge scandal and ... I don't want to get involved. I don't need this. Everything is perfect in my life. Everything is going in the right direction. I don't want to screw it. And... I don't need the journalists ... the press to... follow me everywhere to get their answers. Their juicy story. It ... neither of us needs it. And I am sure... that is what Rose wants us to do." she admitted.
"So we let her win again. Wonderful," he stated and pulled a face.
"What the hell do you want me to do Kit?" Emilia started to lose her patience. Her head hurts, she was still tired, and no matter what she told to Kit, she was still a bit... under the influence of the happenings. "And I am not sure it was Rose, to be honest." she sighed.
"Geez Emilia open your eyes." Kit hit the table and she shuddered. He jumped up. "You are not sure it was Rose? Seriously?" 
"I mean she was not there. Maybe... it was really my fault." Em spread her arms.
"What are you talking about?" 
"I mean... you know me. I am ... direct and ... kind and... always find the tone with everyone. Maybe he just... really misunderstood my actions and..."
"I can't believe you are protecting him and his actions." Kit frowned. 
"I am not protecting him." Em lowered her head. "I just... I am just saying..."
"Do you like him?" Kit asked the most unexpected question.
"What?" Emilia couldn't believe she heard his words right. "He ... tried to rape me and you are asking this?"
"Yes. Because as you said he tried to rape you yet you are... defending him and you don't want to do anything." he spread his arms. 
"You don't ever hear what I am saying." Emilia shook her head. "You just hear what you want to hear, and you know what. It is my life, my decisions. It doesn't belong to you." she raised her voice.  "You have nothing to do with it. You were not there. You have no idea what happened, and if I don't want to make it a big deal I won't. Sometimes I feel you... you were right and ... we were better just having sex than having a relationship because since that.... you were right since we are together we were just having these arguments and it freaks me out."

Her words hurt him. It doesn't belong to him... it is her life... and they were better as friends? Kit felt destroyed and he did not do anything wrong... he was just ... loved her. He wanted to protect her, and that is why he was mad. He nodded and he was not ready to continue this, or he is going to say something that he'll regret. He turned his back at her and make a step towards the door
"Where are you going?" Emilia asked, and he stopped for a moment but he did not look at her.
"I better go now. I ... don't want to continue this. And I don't want to hurt you. I never said... we... are better... just... I ... thought ... you know what nevermind." he pulled a face while he was looking into her eyes. "As you said, it is your life. And it seems I have nothing to do with it. No matter if I belong to it or not. I thought I am your partner... your love. But... It seems there are things in which you don't care about my opinions. So I better go."
"Kit I did not mean..." Emilia stepped closer.
"Just... I know you are a grown-up woman and you can... decide what you want... but at least call Jamie back. He is waiting for your call for days now. I thought that role is important for you but ... it is your decision. Your life. Not mine." he frowned and without any more words he walked out of her flat.
"Shit." Emilia rolled her eyes. She should have not said those things. She did not want to hurt him. Why they always have to argue with each other... she sat to the chair and buried her face to her palms. That was exactly not what she wanted. She loved him with all her heart, and she did not want him to leave.