I Can't Let You Go

So

"So?" Lola asked Emilia. They were walking around Hampsted Heath on Tuesday night. "So what?" Em asked back. "Okay you were a bitch then you called me yesterday and you say you are sorry about it. What happened?" Lola was curious. "Nothing." Em smiled. "I just realized I was a bitch." Em frowned but she knew this is not enough. She wanted to tell her ... she was just enjoying to tease her. "You know I don't eat it right? I know you more." Lola stopped her by putting her hand to her shoulder. "So...?" She smiled to Emilia. "Okay do not tell me you and Harington finally made the step?"

"We made steps many times." Em laughed. "Okay you know what I mean. Emilia for fuck sake! Tell me!" Lola almost begged her. She wanted her to be happy. She was her best friend. "He... told me he loves me." Em lowered her head. "Yeah like we had no idea about it." Lola laughed sarcastically. "And?" Lola eyes were widen. "Details!" She stood against her. Em sighed. "You remember... I told you we had ... sex. Many times. Earlier." Em started. "Yeah and at the Emmys. You fucked like bunnies" Lola stated. "Lola!" Em was surprised. "Would you please be more quiet?" Em grabbed her arms but they were both laughed. Em walked to the bench and sat down. "Sooooo...." Lola sat next to her. "You had sex again? Or what?"

"We did but... it was quite different." Em blushed. "We made love. It was so real. Like we... became one in that moment. I never thought I can enjoys sex in this way. I..." Emilia tried to put her emotions into words. "Geeez. Emilia Clarke is totally in love. Wow after many years you still can surprise me." Lola smiled but she saw in her face there is something wrong. "You did not broke up with him yet, right?" Lola voice changed. Em just shook her head and she was staring the ground. "Why?" Lola frowned. "I don't wanna do this on phone. He deserves much more. He is... a so good man and... he is a so perfect boyfriend but... " she sighed. "Not for you." Lola finished. "Am I a bad person? I... cheated him and ... I scam him." Em leaned back. "I do exactly the things what I swore to myself ... I would never do with anyone"

"I have to admit ... your timing was quite bad. You... should have wait with all of this until... you break up. With... both of them. What about Rose?" Lola raised her eyes on her. "She is coming home next week. Kit wants to tell her when she is here. Because in that way her family can help her to... forget." Em said. She felt herself still bad about everything. She lied to Rose years ago. Maybe she should tell her the truth about them that time. Not acting like an idiot... but ...

SCREEN ACTORS GUILD AWARDS AFTER PARTY - 2014

"Emilia. I... wanted to ask something." They were sitting around the table. Everyone went to dance. Just Rose and her were there. "What?" She smiled and drank into her champagne. "I don't know how to... start it." Rose was embarrassed. "Okay what is going on." Em leaned forward. "Rose." She looked at her. "Are there anything between you and Kit?" She said it. She asked it finally. Em froze. "What?" She asked back. "You two are always stuck together and... I wanna know." She admitted. Em grabbed her glass and drank the remaining champagne from it. "No. There is nothing but why is it important?" Emilia tried to keep calm. "I... he and I... " Rose searched the right words. "So... are you going to tell me or...?" Em asked her. She wanted to know. That was a few weeks ago when she and Kit had that wild night at his parents house and he did not mentioned Rose.

"We dated in the middle of December. His father invited me to his birthday but I couldn't go. I wanted but we had other plans with my family. Ahm..." she told her. "You dated?" Em shocked a bit. She had no idea. Kit did not tell her and that was weird. They agreed if any of them has anyone they will not hooking up. "Just twice. Once in December but he was quite cold with me. He did not even called me after that. Then last week we met in a reception what his father arranged." Rose continued. Reception. Emilia hated this word... what a pompous word. "And?" Em wanted to know. "This is why I wanna know are there anything between you two. Because I don't wanna hurt you." She continued. "Rose, Kit is my friend. That is all. So... you had sex or what?" Em raised her eyebrow. She was not sure she is ready for the answer. Rose smiled and lowered her head. "That means yes?" Now Em needed an answer. "We made love" Rose looked at her and told it straight to her face. She was not ready for it. She tried everything to hide her feelings. "Well. That is pretty cool. I am happy for you if... you two are together " Em faked a smile.