I Can't Let You Go

Trip

Emilia woke up in the morning. He was there. Next to her. His arms were around her. She knew it is not normal, but she loved to be with him. Even in this way. She wanted him to be with her. Around her. "What's the time?" he asked calmly. "Only 8. You can sleep. I... don't have to run anywhere... we don't do any filming today." she answered. "Me neither" he pulled her closer and gave a kiss to her neck. "You know we can't do this constantly, right? I mean... I am here for you, you can come here anytime, but..." She started "Shh.... not now. Please." Kit said to her and pulled her more closely. She nodded and accepted his answer. She wanted to be the calm one, the sane one, but her heart wanted him to be there. With her. She felt his eyes on her back, and turned to him. She just looked at him questioningly. "What?" Kit asked with a smile. "I wanted to ask the same." she raised one of her eyebrow. "Nothing. I was just thinking" he slid a lock away from her face. "About what?" she turned more to him. They were laying against each other. Kit put his hand to her waist. He looked into her eyes. "I am gonna... resign the wedding" he said calmly. "What? Why?" Em eyes were widen. "I don't wanna marry her. I don't want to build any family with her. She is not the one for me." he continued and he was still looking into her eyes. "Are you sure you want this? I mean it is a hard decision, and ... you should think it through again before..." she blurted. "I think this through many times." he answered and still staring at her. They were laying there on silence and just looked each other. "Why you went to New York than?" Em asked him after a couple minutes. "I don't know... but I am glad I went there. That opened my eyes. She was talking about the wedding continuously.  I hated every word of it. I realized I don't wanna do that." he said while his hand were still on her waist. He wanted to pull her close and kissed her. "Why you did not said it to her?" Em asked him quietly. "Because I am a coward." 

"I will support you, in every choice Kit. Until you don't wanna kill anyone of course." she smiled, tried to turn the conversation not too serious. "I will not. Until they don't not hurt the ones, who are important to me." his eyes were still stucked on her. "When do you wanna tell her?" she lowered her head, she can't stand his look. "I can't just break up her in phone, she don't deserve it... My play starts next week. The rehearsals are ... frequently in the next couple days. I ... can't travel to New York again... I have to wait until she comes home for the holidays. " he answered in calmly. "Sounds like a good plan. Not the Christmas break up... it sucks. It ... but... I think it is fair, you don't wanna do this on phone. After many years and everything. Breaking up on phone is ... so unfair and disgusting." she tried to find the right words, but she did not want to look too happy about it. They remained in silence again. Kit wanted to tell her the why, but he knew it is not the right time. Not yet. Emilia deserved, to close his past first, and then be the man for her. The one and only man. He just hoped it won't be too late. He had advantage over Charlie, because he was there, next to Em, and he planned to be next to her as many time as he can. "I am hungry." Emilia raised her eyes to him. "Someone did not brought me dinner" she smiled. "I know. I know." he laughed. "What if I bring you some breakfast?" he asked her. Em moved closer to his chest and gently stroked it with her arms. "That means no?" he placed his arms around her. "That means... Later."

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"All of your weekend is free?" Kit asked her while drinking his coffee and eating the toast, what Emilia made for him. "Almost. I have some plans for Sunday evening with Lola" she answered. "Ouch" the pan burned her hand. Kit jumped up, took her hand and put it under cold water. "Hurts much?" he asked when turned off the water. "It will pass." she blown it with her mouth. Kit raised her hand and gave a kiss to it. "In real life you are not unburnt, you better keep that in mind." he added. "Really funny." Em made a face. "So why my weekend plans are important for you Harington?" she turned back to the pan and continued the eggs. "I wanna rob you from the city." he drank into his coffee. "You worked too much in the last couple days, I had too many mess in the last couple days. We should go and have some rest." Em shut the oven. "Kit... I ... don't wanna ruin your plans, but ... I don't think Rose would be happy if I go with you to Suffolk. I know you wanna break up with her, but yet you are still... together. And... what if anyone see us there?" Em wanted to go, but she still wanted to think clear. "This is the best in Suffolk. No one can see inside the house. Forest and lands everywhere. And... forgive me Clarke, I don't know what is in your mind, but I don't wanna bring you there to do nasty things with you. I just wanted to have some rest in good air with my friend." he said and smirked. "And your mom?" Em asked him. "She told me, if I dare to spend the whole weekend next to her in the hospital, she'll kill me." he laughed. "We'll be back tomorrow afternoon. I'll go and visit her then. So Clarke? What do you think?" Em was staring him. "You know what, Harington. Fine. Let's go."

Kit went home, get packed and an hour later he came back for Emilia with car. They were joking and laughing around all the way to Suffolk. When they reached the city, Em scanned the area. "It is always amazed me, it is so close to London and meanwhile it is so different" she said. "Quiet and peaceful." she added. "But you arrived. So that lasts for this moment." Kit joked with her. "Hey!" she poked his shoulders. "I am driving. We almost there. Do not distract my attention" he teased her. "Of course Kit, because it was me who started." she rolled her eyes and leaned back to the seat. Em smiled. She can't help herself, an old trip came to her mind, when they were travelling together in a car. It was different... 

AFTER ROLLING STONES PHOTO SHOOT - 2012

"I can't believe Peggy said that thing." she leaned back to the seat. They were just done a photo shoot for Rolling Stones Magazine, and the photographer was insisted them to kiss each other. "What thing?" Kit asked, while keep his eyes on the road. They were in the middle of nowhere. Lands, and forests everywhere. "The chemistry thing. I can't believe." she answered. "Well... I liked that shoot. Lena and Alfie were so amazed. They were in shock." Kit laughed. "I was in shock too. You did not opposed for too long." Em said. "Why would I? You act like, you never kissed me before." Kit smirked. "That is different" Em stated. "Is it?" he glanced at her. "Keep your eyes on the road Harington" her cheek was red and poked his shoulder. She blushed, and she had no idea why. "Miss Clarke, would you please tell me since when you are that bashful?" Kit laughed at her. "I am not... bashful. I just... don't want to do thing like this in front of everyone." she answered. Kit turned from the road. "What the hell are you doing?" Em did not understood. He did not answered. He went forward and stopped the car a little later. Em raised her eyebrow. "Now no one is here." he smirked. "So this is why you insisted to drive me home? You wanna rape me in the forest?" Em teased him. He did not answered just grabbed her neck and pulled her close. He pressed his lips to hers and kissed her while his hand found her nipple through the white silk dress what she wore.

"Climb to the backseat" he almost ordered her. She bitten her lower lip and did it and Kit followed her. "It seems it was a good idea to darken the glasses." he said while placed her to his lap and slowly pulled the clothes off her shoulder. He kissed her neck and went towards to her breasts. "You are crazy" Em told him. She closed her eyes, and enjoyed his touch. His hand slid up in her tights to her sex. When he reached it he raised his eyes to her. "What? Sometimes I don't wear panties. It would only bother you now." She was so wet already. 

"And I am the crazy one here who planned this?" he couldn't stop smiling. "Well, it was not me, who drove the car into a forest ... to fulfill some secret desires." Em looked into his eyes while tried to free his sex from his pants. "I hate your tight pants. Did I already mention that?" she said to him. He raised his hips, and Em could push his pants down. His sex was in her hands. She started to move her hand on it. "What do you wanna do with me Harington?" she whispered to his ears while moved her hand harder on his dick. He leaned his head back and groaned. "Do you like it?" she smiled and kissing and biting his neck. "Sit in it" he put his hands to her waist and lifted her. He placed his dick right to her entrance, and pushed her down by her waist. "Fuck" she moaned to his ears. She started to move her hips. She was riding on him. "Fuck Em, it is so good." he said and with his hands he accelerated her moves. He kissed her passionately while fucking her. Em knew they are crazy, she knew they are irresponsible. Anyone could see them but she wanted it. She wanted to feel him. She wanted that fucking good sex, what only he could give her. Kit grabbed her tights and made more place between her legs. He can thrust her more deep. "FUCK KIT" she grabbed his neck and moaned to his ears. "Faster. Ride it. Faster!" he said and she was moving her hips more wild. "Yes, this is it. Cum for me Clarke. Cum for me!" he groaned to her. She squeezed him more when she felt she almost there. When he spoke to her, while they were fucking, it always turned her more on. "Now! NOOW! Yes!" she screamed to his ears and she felt how her pussy pulsated. She felt her climax in all her body, and Kit did not stopped. "I hope you are ready for another one..."

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"Em? Where is your mind?" Kit asked when he stopped with the car in his garage. "What?" she turned to him. "I thought I lost you for a minute. Everything ok?" he frowned. "Yeah, yeah of course. I was... just ... lost in my thoughts. You know... the filming and everything." she tried to explain herself. She could not say, what she was really thought. "We are here to have some rest and relax. Forget that movie. For the next 1,5 days. Or now it is shorter. Okay? Deal?" He was looking at her with that irresistible smile on his face. "Deal." she nodded and got out from the car.

She loved that place. Suffolk... Not the inside, it was not her style but the area, and the peace what surrounded it. She always wanted a house in the countryside. Not so far from London... where she can raise her children in the future with the man who she loves.