I Can't Let You Go

Bday

"Happy Birthday Kitten" she wrote then deleted the text. "Happy Birthday." she wrote again, but that was too impersonal. For fuck sake, they are friends ... everyone knows they are friends, even Rose. She can easily send a message to him. The things just changed in ... private way. No one knows about it, but that thing makes everything more difficult. "HB2U" Nah... she thought, it was even worse.
"Why are you so mad in this early morning honey?" her mom arrived to the kitchen, when she throw her phone away in the table. "He did not give any life-sign?"
"No." she shook her head.
"When he comes home?"
"Tomorrow morning. I think. They always have that birthday reception, what is more about his father... than him" Em sighed and grabbed her phone again.
"You think if you check your phone constantly, he feel it? Do not make yourself crazy. You knew the situation, when you agreed to be with him" Jenny told her honestly, and she was right. Emilia was totally known what she is into. What a mess... and she felt that mess just grows bigger and bigger through the days. 
"I just... we are always in sync. I know it is sounds hilarious... but... I feel there is something wrong." she sighed and started to wrote again.

" Happy Bday Kitten :-* "

He held his phone in his hand and smiled. He just wished... he could be with her. Away from his dad. Away from Rose. Away from the shit what happens with his life right now. He still had no idea, how to tell Emilia the picture ... the picture of the baby. Who... is supposed to be... his baby. His child. That thing... it couldn't be real. He couldn't accept this is the reality. 
"How long do you wanna avoid me?" Rose asked him quietly. She stood in the door and placed her hand to her belly. Kit did not look at her. "It is hilarious. What you are doing right now. I thought... that picture will... reassure you. It is also hilarious that .... you don't believe me. Do you even hear what I am saying?"
He raised his head. Slowly. 
"I don't wanna do this" he told her. He felt his strength gone away. He wanted to end it. Right in that moment. 
"You don't wanna do what?"
Kit took a deep breath and stood up. 
"I don't wanna do this either Kit. I love you, and we are going to have a family." she took a step closer.
"No. We are not." he was calm and confident. He still talking quietly.
"What did you say?" Rose heart almost stopped beating.
"I ... you deserve more than me, you deserve someone who... loves you.  I ... it would be a lie, if I go to the altar with you, and say I wanna spend the rest of my life with you, because I don't. It would be a lie ... if we ... raise this child together, as a family. Cuz we are not a family. We never will be."

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Emilia was walking towards to her flat. Kit did not send her any answer since the morning. She couldn't wait him to be home again. Without her. These days, when she couldn't reach him... makes her crazy. She was staring her phone, while walking. She was chatting with Lola, she shared her worries with her, but when she entered to the gate she got shocked and not in the best way. 
"Where is he?" without any greeting, without any other words. Rose was standing there, her eyes were cried out and it was clear, she is mad and broken.
"Rose?" Em frozen. She almost drop her phone to the ground.
"Where is he?" she took a step towards her.
"Rose I ... don't know what are you talking about."
"I know you know it. You are the reason why he broke up with me. WHERE IS HE?!" she shouted. 
"I don't have time for this" she tried to walk pass to her but she grabbed her arm and stopped her. "Let me go" Em raised her eyes to her.
"NO! Not until you won't be honest with me!"
"The last thing I know ... " Em started and she tried to be as calm as she could "he was with you in the past few days. Not with me. So...  You should know where he is." she pulled her arm quickly from her hands and started to open the door.
"But I don't." Rose lowered her head and now she was talking quietly. 
Em hand stopped. She knows she should just enter into her flat, leave her behind there. She shouldn't be get involved into this. Not with Rose, not in this way, but she was worried about Kit. 
"What happened?" she asked Rose but did not turn back to her. 
"You exactly know what happened. And I am sure, you know where he is. He was with you. Do not lie to me, I know it!" Rose started again. 
"Now listen to me carefully." Emilia turned to her. She was so strong - minded and she did not want to hear her tantrums. "I have no idea where is he. If you lost him, maybe you should think about your actions and behavior, and not just come to here and accused me because your life sucks. Thank it for yourself. I have not seen Kit, but I am sure he has a good reason why he don't wanna be with you."