I Can't Let You Go

Tensely

She walked up to the stairs. Leaving her guests behind. She was tired and there was a long week behind her. She looked down at her wrist. That watch... Kit really knows her. Of course, he does, they are friends for years, but that watch meant a lot to her. She missed her father every day, and he knew it. He always paid attention to her, no matter how far they were from each other. They were really two halves of a whole. No matter how much and how many years they tried to deny it. She took a deep breath and entered her bedroom. He was in the bed, fully covered with the blanket. He did not react when she stepped to the room. Em thought he was sleeping, so she tried to be as quiet as she could. She turned the key, to lock the door before one of her drunk friends think it would be funny to wake them up, then she put down her clothes, and placed the watch next to the bed, to the nightstand. She covered herself with the blanket and snuggled closer to Kit. She gently placed her arm around him, and kissed his back. 
"You shouldn't have to come upstairs because of me," he stated but he did not take her hand, and did not turn to her. 
"You are awake." Em surprised and she raised her head a bit. 
"I am." He took a deep breath.
"What's wrong?" she felt there is something that he did not tell her. He did not even look at her. "Kit?"
"Nothing. Try to sleep." he told her half-heartedly and he pulled the blanket more to his body.
"Okay Kit, what the hell is it?" Emilia sat up on the bed. "You did not have any problem an hour ago."
"Or you were just to busy to notice it." he hissed and finally he raised his eyes at her. 
"What did I do?" Em shook her head and looking at him questioningly. 
"Nothing Emilia. Of course, you did nothing wrong." he sounded so sardonically and rolled his eyes. "We should sleep. I don't want to argue. Not now." he turned back to his place, with his back at her. 
"You behave childishly again." she yanked the blanket from him, as he laid down to the bed. He pulled it a bit back, but they were too far from each other to fully covered themselves. "If that is because of your idiot jealousy towards Jason, you know what? Keep it for yourself. I won't prove anything. If that is not enough that I am here with you, then screw you, Kit." she told him ardently, and tried to talk quietly, but she would have shout with him from her heart. 
"Sure, now you are here with me... and the past doesn't matter, right? The things that you forgot to tell me." he murmured under his nose.
"What the hell are you talking about?" Em jumped up again. 
"Nevermind."
"Okay Harington, you are going to tell me, or you can go home now, because I don't want to spend any minute with you until you act this way." she freaked out. 
"That is how you solve it? Send me home?" Kit also sat up on the bed and scanning her face.
"I am not in the mood, to handle your nonsense jealousy." she raised her brow. 

"What happened between Jason and you?" Kit stared at her face. 
"Gosh" Emilia rolled her eyes. "You were there whole night long. I did not even spend any minute with him alone, because of you. I..." she told him so intensely. 
"I am not talking about tonight." Kit frowned and shook his head. He lowered his head, and he hated he couldn't get those words out of his head. He saw in front of his eyes ... everything that Jason told, what Emilia did with him. "He told me... " he tried to talk. "You two were..."
"What?" Emilia shook her head.
"You hooked up. Not with these words, but that you wanted him to fuck you all the time during you were shooting the first season. You forgot to mention that for all those years. Was I the option B? You did not get him, so you started those hook-up with me?" he did not think. He was hurt, and he just said everything that came to his mind.
"You can't be serious." Emilia surprised. She felt how the words stuck on her throat. 
"Did you hook up with him or not?" Kit raised his eyes at him, and he looked nervous.
"I didn't. Sure, everyone thought that we did but... for fuck sake he was a married man even back then. I would never..."
"You did it with me too. I had a girlfriend when we... "
"I can't believe you cut this to my head." Emilia shook her head, and she wanted to slap him at that moment. "There is definitely something wrong in your mind." she sat to the edge of the bed and she tried to not freak out totally. 
"But you wanted right?" Kit looked to the ceiling.
"What?" Emilia glanced at him above her shoulder.
"You wanted to hook up with him. Didn't you? So my jealousy is not that unrealistic." he stood up from the bed, and started to put his shirt on. 
"What are you doing?" Emilia looked at him.
"Go home. As you wished." he pulled a face.
"I did not say that. I ... you overreact it." Em stood up and spread her arms. 
"Tell me the truth. It would be easier." Kit stated.
"There was nothing between Jason and me. Never. Neither with Michiel or anyone else, who I shot for a long time. Only with you." she stepped closer. "There were gossips and rumors, and we were just laughing about it." she rolled her eyes. 
"But you wanted it, right?"Kit answered ironically. 
"Kit that happened at least ten years ago. We really arguing because of that?" Emilia frowned, and stared his face. She stepped closer and placed her hand to his chest. "We have a past. Both of us."
"But I never lied about mine, or keep it hidden from you." he lowered his head. 
"I don't understand why you have minority complex next to Jason." Em tried to smile at him and searching the eye contact with him.
"I don't... " Kit sighed "It..."
"I love you Kit." she placed her hand to his face. "Isn't that what matters?" she shrugged her shoulders.
"That is why I hated that he'll be there. I knew he is going to tell me something... that freaks me out. He tried to be so funny and I couldn't think anything else, just how much I want to punch him out" he admitted. 
"I am glad you did not do it." she placed her arm around his neck.  
"Yeah" he was still confused, and he had no idea what to think about the whole situation. 

"Come." Em took his hand and pulled himself back to the bed. "Sit down," she told him, and pushed him to the bed by his chest, then she sat to his lap. Opposite to him. 
"Em I am not..." Kit rolled his eyes.
"Now listen to me carefully Harington." she started in a very serious way. "I Love You. I chose you because I wanted you. Not him. If I could go back, I'd do the same thing again, except maybe... I'd confess my feelings to you earlier. To avoid all these shit around us." she smiled. "But Jason is not an option. He never was. I always looked at him, like an older brother, and yes we were joking with each other, and teased each other. You know him... I ... just wanted to be the cool girl, because I knew he did not mean it. He just has a big mouth, just like me." she forced him to look at her. "In other cases you did not mind that I have a filthy mind." she bit her lower lip. "I never Hooked up with any other of my co-stars just with you. "If I remember correctly you can't say that about yourself." she raised her eyebrow and smiled. 
"It was below the belt." Kit smiled a bit finally. 
"Let me count... There was me." she started to count on her fingers. "Rose." she showed two of her fingers. "Ahm... Esme." she was thinking and raised her third finger.
"Okay it is enough." Kit grabbed her hand and squeezed it down. 
"Oh, Sibil. I almost forgot." she teased him, and that moment he grabbed her by her waist and placed her to the bed, then leaned over her. 
"But I never kept it in a secret." he caressed her face.
"No you did not. And I wanted to kill every one of them when you told me that you had one night stands with them." Em answered softly. "I was jealous. Even if I had no idea that I was jealous. I just hated it. But... I knew you are young, and handsome. And you just enjoy life. That just... makes me more sure, that a relationship between us, would have not work. Not that time." she explained quietly. "Not that far from each other. Not ... while that many women wanted to have sex with you." 
"I grow up." Kit was still caressing her head
"I hope so." Em looked into his eyes. 
"I am sorry." Kit sighed and he felt ashamed. "I ... should have not freaked out but... the thought that he touched you... and ... he said there were rumors, how you ... ahm... " he tried to tell it with other words, than how Jason told him. 
"Sucked his dick in the trailers?" Emilia raised her brow. "Yeah, we all heard about it. To be honest I am surprised that you did not." she pulled a face. "There was nothing. That is why I did not tell you anything, because there was nothing between us. You knew about all my boyfriends and hookups. Believe me. Especially because it was you whom I hooked up with... in most cases." she giggled and Kit also grinned and laughed a bit.

"Can we just lay down, hug each other, and forget this?" she narrowed her eyes and staring at him. 
"Sure." he leaned to her face and kissed her, meanwhile, his hands started to explore her body.
"That is ..." she giggled between those kisses "not what I asked."
"Sorry..." he did not stop, "I think the last thing I've heard is how you want to hook up with me," he smirked and continued the kisses towards to her neck, and his fingers found the way under her panties. 
"I did not say that." she almost moaned the last words, because she felt how his fingers find the way into her sex. He moved those in and out. 
"So you don't want this?" he teased her, and he was staring at her face. Her eyes were closed and she clearly enjoyed how he was fingering her. 
"Oh." she moaned louder while he moved his fingers in and out faster. 
"Do you want me to stop?" the smirk on his face grows. 
"DO not dare to ... stop." she felt how he thrust her even harder and deeper with his fingers. She grabbed his neck and she knew she has to keep her mouth. She can't be extremely loud as she usually was. There were others in the house, and she did not want them to hear it. Kit kissed her, but she buried her face to his shoulders instead. 
"Yes. Yes! Kit..." she tried to control herself, but she was close. 
"Cum baby." he groaned and he adored her. Every inch of her. Not to mention how he loved, how wet she became at the moment when he touches her. Every damn time. "Cum Emilia," he told her with his sexy deep voice, and he felt how she squeezed him closer.
"Kiiiiiit" a bit too loud scream came out of her mouth when she finally reached her climax. She laid back to the bed and smiled. 
"Now. I think we can sleep." Kit kissed her forehead. "If you don't want to give a concert for the people downstairs." he laughed at her and kissed her beautiful lips again.