I Can't Let You Go

Room

She entered the room. She was still pissed. She hated how he was talking with her even if he was right in some way. She did it for him. Not because she enjoyed it.
"Your room is in the next door." Kit leaned to the bedroom doorway and crossed his arms in front of his body.
"If you don't want me to be here I go." She answered coldly and placed her jacket on the chair.
"Are you still pouting?" Kit raised his eyebrow. There was a small smirk on his face. She was there in his room... so he won. Even if she would never admit he was right. He knew her.
"I am not pouting." Em rolled her eyes.
"Not? It doesn't seem to me." He sighed.
"Look if you wanna tease me the whole night long it is not the right time." Emilia crossed her arms too. They were standing opposite to each other as each other's reflection.
"So you are pouting." Kit stated and staring at her.
"If I say yes, then you finally leave me alone or you wanna continue this? Because I am really not in the mood." She lowered her head. Kit stepped closer. Slowly. Emilia was looking at the floor. She saw how he stopped right in front of her.
"What mood are you in?" He grabbed a pin of her hair and placed it behind her ear. 
"I don't want to quarrel," she said quietly. "Not because of her."
"We always teased each other." Kit answered. "You and me. We weren't afraid to quarrel because we knew we are reconciled anyway. And that is not changed. So..."
"It is changed." Em raised her eyes at him. "Now  I'm afraid I'm gonna lose you. Because being in a relationship and in a friendship is two different things." she explained fiercly "I did what I did today because I love you, and I couldn't watch anymore how she was acting with you. You've told me in the morning you are drowning. And I see it. And I can't do anything for you And..." she couldn't finish, because Kit pressed his lips to her full lips and kissed her. 
"Did you say something?" Kit smiled and their lips were so close, he was holding her cheek in his hand. 
"I did. And I hate when you don't take me seriously," she whispered.
"I take you seriously Clarke. And the whole situation. This is why I stopped you today. I had to stop you. Even if my words hurt you. That was the only way at that moment. When one of us loses his head the other one has to be in mind. You did what you did, because of me, and I did what I did because of us." Kit told her. He was so calm and loving. "And yes, you can pull the worst out from me." Kit rolled his eyes. "Because when your cynical and stubborn side takes over the control ... I could strangle you with my bare hands."
"I think I inherited it from my mother." Em raised her eyebrow and smiled a bit. 
"So..." Kit's hand slid towards the back of her head... slowly. Sensually. "I am asking once more. Are you still pouting, Clarke?" 
"What if I do?" Em finally looked into his eyes. 
"I'll make it go away," he answered with a smirk on his face and leaned closer to her. Placed his arms around her body, and raised her up meanwhile their lips met again. Kit walked with her to the bed and laid down there.

"You'll not always get away so easily" Em giggled.
"My charm. It takes every woman off their feet" Kit answered, while he was laying over her.
"Every woman?" Emilia frowned. 
"But I am only interested in one" He answered, while they were looking at each other's eyes, deeply. His hand was sliding down on her body, through her belly towards her sex. He slid his hand into her pants and Emilia felt how his finger reached her clit. 
"Good answer," she whispered, almost moaned into his mouth, he continued with his kisses on her lips, then went on to her neck and licked her ear while his finger was still caressing her through her panties. 
"I did not say it is you. Are you sure...?" He teased her. Emilia turned to him and she could kill him with her eyes but that moment he thrust his fingers into her wet sex.
"YES!" she closed her eyes and she already forgot what he just said. He can easily drive her crazy. and she adored when he does it. 

--------------------------------------

She was caressing his chest. They were laying in the bed, after lovemaking. Because that was not just sex. No matter how wild and passionate they are with each other. That is much more than just sex... they needed each other. They were whole together. The silence was huge in the room, only the noises from the streets were heard. Kit caressed her arms and she snuggled more close to him. Emilia loved those moments. Those moments are just... peaceful, and ... happy. Just the two of them. She felt many times, she did not want to sleep, because she did not want those moments to end. While she was thinking, she let out a big sigh.
"What is it?" Kit asked her immediately.
"Nothing." she shook her head a bit, and she played with her fingers in his chest. "I wish we could... skip some months. When it is all over. When we don't have to care about our contracts or Rose, or anyone's opinion." 
"Will it ever happen?" Kit frowned. "I mean... we knew when we chose this path. To be actors. We knew we would sacrifice our privacy."
"We were just kids. We did not even know what it means." Emilia kissed his chest. 
"I would give up anytime." Kit sighed. "The acting. If that is what we need for our happiness." 
Emilia smiled a bit, then elbow next to him. She looked into his eyes. 
"I would never ask that. This was our dream too. Being actors and do what we love to do. And I still think we can do both. Sooner or later she'll give up and understand. And then... it will be easier" Em tried to convince him, and even herself.
"And hopefully in the meantime, we will persevere." Kit stated and lowered his head. Em placed her hand to his beard. Caressing it with her finger. 

"You did not drink that whiskey. At the bar. You ordered it, but you did not drink it." she wanted to ask him since she stepped into his room earlier that night, but as usual, Kit distracted her attention, in a very enjoyable way. 
"No I did not." he took a deep breath and grabbed her hand. Gave a small kiss to it. "I wanted. When I saw you there, how you refused to talk with me and how you looked at me... with those judgy eyes, I did not care. After everything that happened today... to be honest, after today I thought a lot about... I should just knock myself out and say fuck you to the world." he frowned. "Then I grabbed that glass, and I looked into your eyes. No matter how mad you were at me... I saw how those eyes begged me not to do it. Even if your lips said different things." he smiled a bit. "So I left it there, and came to my room... hoping you'll follow me."
"I am sorry." Em sighed.
"You were always tough and honest with me. You are the only one in this fucking world who can keep me in the line." Kit smiled a bit. "And maybe you were right."
"In what?" Em frowned.
"Maybe a rest in that health center ... would be good for me."

Emilia surprised, and sat upon the bed. She kept the blanket around her naked body and turned to him, staring at his face.
"She was unbearable today. She seized every opportunity to freak me out... make me mad... broke me." Kit continued. "And it will be even worse at the premier, I know it. She'll be there, with all her family. I will not able to take a breath. And I have no idea, how I can handle it." he was honest with her. "Smiling next to her as a happy fiancé, meanwhile you'll be probably in the corner. Close to me, but far away. I am sure David, Dan, and even Mariana will pay attention to us. To not cause any ... rumor." 
"It won't be the best day of our life, that is sure." Emilia lowered her head. 
"At least if I go to that rehabilitation center... I'll be away from her. And... maybe you were right. I need that. I need to put myself together. The past few months were hard and... I am drowning and maybe this is the step that I need to make before I sink in the mess around me."
"Michael told me... he helps to keep that in a secret, as much as he can. And I'll be there. In the US, and I visit you as many times as I can and..." Em was happy from the bottom of her heart. She really thought it is the best for him. The best for them... for their future. 
"I know." Kit smiled and pulled her back to his arms. Kissed her lips again. He could have kissed those lips the whole night long. "I love you, Clarke. You are the best thing that could've happened in my life." 
"Will you think that in years to come?" Em giggled. 
"Let's see... my opinion did not change in the past 8 years, so probably." Kit was playing with a pin of her hair while he was talking. "But you know what they say. The big real test of a relationship is after the wedding."
"Wedding?" Em raised her eyebrow. "Why do you think, I would marry you?" she was teasing him.
"Because you can't find another man who can satisfy you in the way I do," he smirked. 
"Wow, you are a bit pompous Harington, aren't you?" Em frowned. "Sex is not everything. You cannot solve everything with your cock" she glanced down in the bed, towards his sex.
"Not everything." Kit placed his arms around her and turned with her in the bed. He pressed his lips against her lips. "But a satisfied wife is a good wife."
"I guess I can't argue with that." she bit her lower lip. 

Kit kissed her once more, then she turned her back at him, snuggled closer to his arms. She felt herself save. In his arms. In his embrace. That was the best place where she can be. In the arms of the man, who she loves. He gave a kiss to the top of her head. He was not sure in himself, he had no idea how many times will he screw things up but that woman is worth fighting for. That thing was sure. She always wanted the best for him. All his dreams, all his future... are in his arms at that moment. His Emilia. The woman who he fell in love with at first sight in that hotel hall years ago in Belfast. The woman who was never just a hook up for him. The only woman he could ever imagine his future with. 
"Do not snuff into my ear," she told him quietly.  He smiled a bit, and he squeezed her closer. She pushed her perfect little butt into his lap. "Good Night Kit"
"Good Night" he answered so softly, and he closed his eyes. The premier in two days. He was afraid of it. At least he does not have to spend his whole night with Rose. The last big rehearsal for the SNL show is the same day, so ... he can leave Rose behind. It only takes few hours. He is able to do it... but meanwhile he felt more and more suffocated by the situation. He just wants to be strong enough to not do any reckless thing. He can do it all the way. Without any alcohol or weed. Yes, he can...