I Can't Let You Go

A Long Week

LONDON

"He needs a good publicist." Emilia tried to convince Michael "He is a good actor, and he has many opportunities in the future." she wanted to help Kit. He needed a new agent... but at least a new publicist. She wanted him to get rid off Mariana as soon as he can. She supported Rose in every way she could and Emilia wanted him to cut every strand that ties him to her. 
"I don't know." Michael shook his head "Kit had many issues. Like that scandal with that Russian girl.
"That was a lie. That whore just put that into Russian news to be on the spotlight. " Em sighed. "And this is why he needs us. I mean... Mariana did nothing for him when that happened."
"And what about his drinking habits?"
"He is... not... drinking." Em lowered her head. "For fuck sake Michael, other agents would pray to owe him as their talent."
"I understand you want to help him ... because of you... and he is close to each other."
"It is not just about that." Emilia sighed "I can separate work from my private life. You know me." she looked at him. "I just want him to be in good hands. He needs a good background, a good agent and ..."
"What about him and Rose?" Michael leaned over in the desk. 
"Ahm..."
"I just saw a cute little PR papwalk in New York. There were tons of pics of them. So?"
Emilia remained in silence. 
"I only can help if you tell me the truth. I need to protect you too. So. What is going on with them? With you?"

NEW YORK

"What the hell are you doing here Rose?" Kit ran into her at the Studio. "I thought we agreed. I do the photos, I am going to chat kindly with the fans about us, I act like the happiest fiance on earth, but we agreed you leave me alone when I am working." he was mad. A day earlier they sat down and made some deals. Some agreements. Three days passed since Emilia left, and she was too much. She and Mariana both followed him everywhere. Both wanted to control him, tell him what to do, and he fled to the studio to be alone. To get rid of them. 
"I thought Dan told you." Rose was kind. She changed her strategy that was clear. She asked his forgiveness about how she acted and she tried to be a partner in this thing. Kit did not believe her but that behavior from her was more bearable. He knew it lasts until Emilia is back. She was jealous at Emilia. She had every reason for it. If he wanted to be honest, he always loved Em. Not her. Not Rose... and she felt it... and she tried everything to have his heart. But he couldn't control his emotions. He couldn't choose who he loves. He just felt it. Em was his chosen one. Em was the only woman for him. No matter how far they were, no matter how long they haven't talked... 
"Dan told me what?" Kit frowned.
"I... it is better if you talk with him. Or Mariana. I ..." Rose hesitated.
"Rose, what is going on." he took a step closer. "You only have a two-sentence part in this show. We agreed you stay away from the studio... you've told me you don't want to destroy my carrier. We agreed."
"We did. We did." she smiled at him "But ... It is not me who should tell you. Really. I mean..."
"Just say it for fuck sake" he raised his voice and grabbed her shoulders.
"They've changed my part. I have a whole scene with you. And we have to do the rehearsals for it. It will be a love scene. Isn't it cute?" she was smiling.
"What? No. No... I read the scripts and..."
"The scripts are changed. Don't worry. It will be amazing, and what else can prove our love more." she was still smiling... it was annoying. It was irritating. Kit wanted to escape. He wanted the world to stop... he wanted to escape from his own life. Em is gonna freak out if she got to know it. He was sure about it.

LONDON

Em saw Kit tried to call her at least three times. She knew it must be important, but she was in the middle of a meeting. She couldn't leave. Her mother would kill her if she leaves. They just made their charity, and it was important for them. For both of them. And her mother made her clear opinion about Kit and his mess ... 

A DAY EARLIER - LONDON

"So he is drinking and doing drugs when he has enough. Wonderful" Jenny stated while she was making a tea for Emilia.
"No. He tries to control it. He ... has a hard period."
"All of us have hard periods, and meanwhile we did not drunk and smoke some joints. What do you think it was not hard for me when you were in the hospital? Twice? When you almost died? Or after your father's death? But human life is hard. We have to learn how to survive. We need to be strengthened by the pain we experience... If we surrender ourselves to the pain, we are lost." Jenny explained to her, and she was nervous. That was clear. She waved with her arms. 
"Not everyone is... as strong as you," Emilia stated, while she grabbed her mug. 
"You are." her mother looked at her, and smiled a bit then she took a deep breath. "Are you... I know you love him, but... are you sure he worth it? I see how stressed you are, and it is definitely not okay. You have to show the positive image to the people who we are talking tomorrow. I need my vivacious daughter. Not the one who just entered in the messiest situation." she held her hand. 
"I am an actress. If I want to be I am the happiest woman in the world. Don't worry about it." 
"I love him, you know that right?" Jenny asked her. Em just nodded. "I really do. He is a good guy, and ... I support you in this. I just... worry about you. Love should make people happy... not... strained and nervous. And since this started... you are different." Jenny tried to be honest with her.
"I am not nervous because of Kit." Em raised her eyes to her mother. "I am mad and nervous, and neurotic because of the psychotic bitch." she took a deep breath "I ... am happy when I am with him. When it is just two of us. He made me laugh. He made me feel the most ... beautiful... and most precious human being on Earth." she smiled a bit. "He is the One, mom. I just... noticed it too late, and now the timing sucks. But I love him, and I won't give up on him. No matter what happens."
"I know. And I'll support you, darling. In everything."

-----------------------------------------

"It was him?" Jenny asked her after they left the building. 
"Yes. I'll call him back when we got home. Probably it doesn't matter by now. I don't even know what is going on. It is... he must be in the studio by now." Em sighed. 
"When do you go back?" Jenny looked at her, while she hailed a cab on the street. 
"On Saturday. Probably. I was able to reschedule the interview from Monday to Friday so I can go back sooner."
"You can't hold his hand all the time," Jenny mentioned.
"Do not start this again." Em raised her voice, even if she knew her mother only wanted the best for her. She had no idea what is going on. She had no idea how it feels to be in this mess. She had no idea about Rose and her actions. Emilia did not want to tell her every detail, she already worried too much. 
"She'll be on the Premier?"
"I hope not." Em took a deep breath "You would be angry with me if I... take a walk? Alone?" 
"Go. Just pay attention to your feet while you are talking on the phone." Jenny leaned closer and gave her a kiss. "Love ya baby."

NEW YORK

"No Dan, I don't understand. Do you want me to completely freak out?" Kit was shouting with Dan on the phone. "At least you should inform me when you decide something behind my back."
It was not us. Not me." he tried to explain. "the studio... and the SNL crew thinks it is a good idea. It will be great on the tv screen."
"I won't do this." Kit answered. He heard how his phone was beeping. Emilia was calling him, meanwhile, he was talking with Dan. He wanted to end this before talking with Em. He already regretted he called her earlier. He had to solve this topic. "You can tell to HBO or to SNL producers. I won't do this."
"It is not the way it works."
"It is the way it works!" he answered loudly. "Without me, there won't be SNL. I agreed to do the script they gave to me months ago. I don't agree with these changes. Solve it." Kit pressed the end button on his phone screen and he was mad. He spotted the guy who offered some coke for him earlier this week. He felt ... he wanted to absorb a strip of that, but Em's face came to his mind. Her face... and the things she asked from him. He can't do this, no matter what happens. He had to keep himself in line. In a sane way. For them, for their love. 
"You are here. We have to continue." an assistant arrived next to him.
"I need to make a call." he frowned.
"Later." she smiled at him and grabbed his arms, then accompanied him back to the studio room. Kit wrote a message to Emilia while they were walking back.
"Working. Call you later. Just wanted to hear your voice. Love ya." 

SATURDAY - NEW YORK

Emilia arrived back to NYC late at night that day. She did not tell to anyone she is coming back earlier. Neither Kit. She wanted to surprise him. She was sure he'll be happy. She got out of the cab and started to walk into the hotel. 
"Miss Clarke!" The receptionist greeted her. "We got your message. I am glad you are back already. Just a minute." 
Emilia was smiling at him, and she continued to push her phone. Suddenly the woman who was standing in front of her at the reception turned to her. 
"Emilia Clarke?" she turned to her, and she raised her eyes at the woman.
"Susan?" Emilia's eyes widen. She started to smile and they greeted each other with a hug. It was Susan Sarandon. Kit's Co-star in his new movie. "Oh my God. When was the list time we met?"
"At the Globes. More than two years ago." Susan answered. "You and Kit were there and we had a great time as I remember." she laughed.
"Oh true. What are you doing here?" Emilia asked her.
"Have some meetings. I plan to do a new movie." She told her, and she spotted some other cast members from Game Of Thrones at the hall. "You have the premier here right? Is Kit here already?"
"Yes, yes, I think he is. He is just... working. He is gonna be on SNL." Em answered. She was so proud of him. Being on SNL as a host was a big thing. Even if it is tiring. 
"Glad to hear. We had some wild parties in Paris when we were there."
"Wild?" Em frowned. "What does that mean?"
"Oh, I am sure you know. Kit is a great party face. Especially when... you know." she placed his hand in front of her mouth, and imitated to smoke some joint. "Oh, and what a girl magnet he is. Those french ladies were queuing for him. Hope his girlfriend is not around. He was so freed in Paris without her. I'd like to have some drink with you two if you..."

Em was shocked. It was clear, Kit kept some things in secret about his Paris trip. She asked him several times... and he lied to her about it and tried to hide it.
"Anything wrong?" Susan shrugged her shoulder. 
"No. No there is nothing. I am just tired. Just arrived from London. You know... time zones and everything."
"Okay, not tonight, but he knows my number." she leaned closer to Emilia "And I have good connections here too. So ... just call me." she patted her shoulder, then turned to leave. Emilia was standing there. Destroyed. She did not expect this. She thought... he was honest with her... 
"Miss Clarke?" The receptionist brought her back to reality, and she turned to the counter to take her room card.