I don't know what to do.
I hold onto my memories more and more, and I'm convinced that they are the most valuable thing that I have. Those beautiful memories. Often, there are times that I'm convinced that it'll never get any better than it has been before. Every time something good happens, it was never as good as the first, and it just continuously numbs the present feeling, as I'm constantly comparing how amazing the past as been, the energy, the excitement. I swear, if this is it, I'm already dead. I need more, I'm not done living, and it feels as if I haven't even lived. I've constantly been in a cocoon, with my memories, swimming in them. I breathe them, they are all I think about. Much of it is my fault, and I don't know how to forgive myself. Maybe I have forgiven myself, but to move on, I don't know how, as I value these memories incredibly, yet they are the only thing holding me down. I need an escape, once this virus shit is all over. I need to go on a DMT retreat.
—
More and more I find monsters everywhere I go, no matter where I am, the monsters are.
YOU ARE READING
Release
PoetryThis is a collection of my writing from the past 7 years. Before I started to write, I was a very lost individual, as are most teens, but I was lost in darkness. I was too afraid to move anywhere at all. I hid in the dark, debilitated by my own anxi...
