Life is very very strange,
even more so once you can empathize with the inhuman world, & I don't speak of demons or mythological creatures not known to man, but about the vastness of space, the stars, the concept of infinity, the infinitely expanding, contrasting, & the lineage of time.However, to put numbers to everything, is suffocating. All most people seem to care about, are numbers. They are obsessed with their scores, the amount of likes/views, their weight, or their monetary wealth, how much faster, how much higher, how heavy I can life determines how I view myself. These momentary numeric illusions of progression within this fixed amount of time we have in existence, are empty. Instantly they are crushed by the eternal infinities all around us. Somehow man's ego keeps him afloat at the same time as they are drowning in their own abyss of desire for MORE, when no one thinks they have enough.
This is my own philosophy.
Perhaps it isn't a reality for most, as without vision one cannot possibly see anyway. Most will never be conscious or self aware enough to manage their own ego's desires. As soon as they plan to do something drastically different in their lives, slowly they will return to their previous number fixated self. Perhaps.I believe, our value is within our own personal experiences. Life through our eyes as individuals and the path that we have followed, our past, our future, and present. How we perceive and experiences these passages of time, is a complete reflection of our view on reality, as every individual's reality is different, & and we can only do our best to normalize and understand others' existences or feelings. When we truly have no idea, many humans nowadays seem to be fighting themselves internally, as if they are their own enemy. I'm not sure if this was ever a true issue when times were more simple, as no concepts were manipulated or needed to be understood. However, now with the mass amounts of information at hand, all forms of knowledges are within the grasp of understanding. A silly question, which is controversial is this. If depression wasn't a topic of discussion, or wasn't a concept that exists in daily life, would people still have depression?.. if it didn't exist, I wouldn't be a thought. Perhaps everyone asks, "Am I depressed?" Instantly, we've entered a slippery slow of adding this idea to our consciousness. The process of overthinking and convincing ourselves that we are or are not depressed, could lead one to a depressive state, making it so that if depression wasn't a state of thought, it wouldn't exist, it would have a name, it wouldn't be real. Of course sadness is real, and being depressed is real, but once you are conscious of it, it gains a sudden control over you. Once you give it a name, in the face of ignorance, you lose that power of being ignorant. This pertains to all concepts of life, if you don't know about it, or don't know it exists, your mind is free of that suffering path of thought, or even enjoyable things. It's a double edged concept that can either bring one more sadness or happiness. For example, the ideology that there's a God, the thought that there's more beyond this, how powerful one's imagination can be to fathom such things, yet this potential illusion creates a great course of guidance in one's entire existence. Personally, I don't know if there's a God, so I will play within the bounds of my own accepted knowledge. However, for those that do, it provides some sort of purposes, a direction to walk forward, a meaning to existence. For myself, maybe I would call the Sun, my God, the plants, the ocean, the entire earth is my God as I know without it I wouldn't exist. Without many things I wouldn't exist, without the perfection of time I wouldn't exist. With one thing happening differently in the past before my existence. Just one event in infinity, I would not exist. It's strange how time only moves forward, why never backwards? Another imaginary thought that goes against the universal laws of life. Perhaps that's a God someone can praise, to accept that the past cannot be changed or altered, even I know I'd benefit more from this. I've accepted the past in great detail, but as I know I'm a reflection of my past, present, and future, the past still has it's hold on me, yet the future also pull me forward. With all these forces suspending me within my physical perimeters, balancing me in the progression of time. Nowness.
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Release
PoetryThis is a collection of my writing from the past 7 years. Before I started to write, I was a very lost individual, as are most teens, but I was lost in darkness. I was too afraid to move anywhere at all. I hid in the dark, debilitated by my own anxi...