Release

Stepping Stones

I've been stepped on a huge amount of times, mostly by my own family members, to the point of where I was 99.9% convinced that this was life, that this is all that life holds for me. Misery. I would walk in the shadows at night, even just over a year ago, almost two, where I would walk in the dark, through my house, crying, and calling out to the darkness, to the shadows, just asking for myself to be taken away, but I'm still here. I'm still alive, even when I have given in to the face of death, and again, I am still here, I'm here for a reason, and that reason is because I have fought, and I will keep fighting to live, to stay alive, to breath that sweeter air. I have so much negative brainwashing shit in my mind, just trying to consume me on how I should live, and feel about my life. This is the affect that my grandparents chanted onto me, these are demons that they pushed into my soul. They are inside of me, and surprisingly they only come out when my grandparents are around, as if to say hello, and thank you for giving them a soul to ruin. How they treat me most of the time is quite unfair and not just of how a parent or guardian should be at all. The past that they have given to me, haunts me constantly. But, as you know, I've been on the edge of nothingness before, I still have a bunch of pills crushed up in a little container just ready for me to consume, knowing there's a tiny chance that I would even actually die from it, but I don't, and just keeping that in my room, is just a reminder, that I am something more than what these people have made me feel, something more than what my family, my past friends, my past lovers or whoever, have made me feel. That I deserve more than all of this, that I deserve more than to be consumed by all the hate and wrong that I have been given, that I was born to be alive, and to not just hide in the shadows of my enemies, but to rise above them, and cast as light so great to show the true darkness that are, that they are the problems of my life, but also the solution of this person I am today, which I'm thankful for. But, at the same time, as I cast this light on my enemies, on just all of this negativity, the shadows that they have casted will be no more. The people who have been hiding under masks, or the corrupt words that others have given to them in the past, to come out, and shine with me. To be ruthless and an unstoppable light, to share their hidden thoughts, to share their wonderful dreams and ideas. Just everything, and then for these people who have casted their shadows, to finally realize that they are the darkness themselves.