Release

Miracles in Infinity

I've always been one to stare for extended durations. To examine all things in detail, their behaviours; passive and intentional, their interactions with others; how these differentiate between instances, time of day, past and future knowledge which narrows to one's nowness.

I've learnt a lot about human behaviour, and even how it relates to the natural world of other living entities. There are many concurring patterns that suggest that we all relate far more than we feel we do. Aside from human consciousness, the passive and instinctual mind, and how it's shaped seems to follow rules.

Many terrifying truths appear in my wandering thoughts as I stare into the abyss of an individual's state of existence. These curiosities cut deep like a guillotine thumping at the bottom of it's path. The realization that we are all trapped, without choice of the vessel we've been given. No one's experience or interpretation of their existence is the same. Individuals may do similar actions, eat the same foods, consume the same substances, share similar thoughts, etc. But, the truth is that we literally don't know, or can't affirm that how you feel, is exactly or even close to how I feel. We do our best to describe the feeling with our limited vocabulary. An attempt to define billions of interactions that are happening every second in our bodies, is a humanly impossible feat. We can generalize, of course. That's how society functions. Though, the saddest thing is, that we're often lost in translation.

I've come to the conclusion, that everything is feeling. Literally everything we perceive is with some sort of sensory attachment. These sensory attachments dictate how we live, and seemingly choose all decisions for us. Our consciousness and state of awareness is simply here for the ride, that's all. Sure, you have options of choice, a decision that's to be made in a single instant, where the determining factor of this option of choices was manifested by an infinite amount of previous happenings before this exact moment, which were totally out of your control. All things in the past, determine our exact future, whether we like it or not. It's a sense of uncontrolled destiny, but when our ability to control it, limited to our physical form. For us to say that we control anything, is absurd. Your success, or your failures, are often predetermined. Yes, you can increase your chances of success, or increase your chances of failure, but even during those moments of sensational high, as you're on a winning streak, could be completely destroyed by that of which is out of your control, and has been in perpetual motion of happening, forever. A perfect example is a pandemic, or a war. These are more extreme cases that influence the world, though an infinite amount of happenings are all around us making decisions that determine our current existence. Imagine being the first person to have gotten the virus, and died. Your entire life, you were fine, but everything that's ever happened, ever, brought you to that exact moment of singularity, and killed you. Where one single passive decision, that was again seemingly chosen for you, could have decided your fate. You could go on and on with examples and possible instances within the permutations of the infinite past.

I've seen all walks of individuals, giving my travels, and eagerness to understand, and capitalized on every moment to empathize. To imagine the sorrow one must feel as they hate themselves for a life they didn't choose. To imagine a prideful individual that was born to riches, or someone who was born of poverty and brought themselves to something previously thought of as impossible. Congratulate someone on their luck, and not their drive for monetary success. This is a worthy lesson, to have no prejudice or disregard for any one or any thing. But, humans do, and for the duration of my life, always will. Unfortunately there isn't enough time for enough infinite randomness to happen, to bring all humans humility, especially with being so far from that reality.

The best anyone can do,
is place their bets, and hope.
We're all riding on a miracle in infinity.

Ps, I ate some fungus and wrote this, I was a little too deep into my mind to elaborate on my ever expanding thoughts.

Next time I'm sure I'll muster something that takes longer to read.