Carliene Stark

II Chapter 78

Carliene

A harsh wind had begun blowing in from the Narrow Sea, bushing a dark front of heavy clouds towards the westerosi shore. The gusts tore at our cloaks and caused the white banner to whip around violently. So much sow that a few times I feared that Theon would lose it. But he held onto it heroically as we followed the Rosby Road towards the Iron Gate. It was opened for our small party, consisting of only Theon and I and six Unsullied guards, and it was quickly shut again right behind us. I brushed some loosened hair from my face, now that we were out of the wind and tucked behind the castle walls. Although I had planned to keep a completely stoic and unreadable expression to anything around me, I could not help but turn around and study the strange structure atop the left pillar of the gate. There was something large, wrapped in large sheets of cloth or boarded up with mismatched planks. I had noticed a few of these structures along the wall as the rode closer and had tried to come up with possibilities of what they meant or what they were for. 

Soon my attention was demanded on the scene in front of me again as a large group of goldcloaks began to surround our party. A large man on a grey warhorse stepped forward, eyeing us with small unpleasant eyes over a hooked nose. "This way" he growled, turning his steed around to lead us. I should not have been surprised about the lack of respect or formality. 

Theon shot me a worried glance and I gave him a calm nod before urging Tansy forward. The goldcloaks kept us in their midst as we followed the cobbled road into the city. Compared to the open fields I noticed I had grown quite used to in the last couple of weeks, the narrow streets and tall buildings framing it made me feel almost claustrophobic. But I held my back straight and my chin high, making sure not to pay any of the goldcloaks any mind, as I could sense their eyes on me constantly. And tried not to think about the stories they might have been made to believe about me. 

The street of the Iron Gate lead us right through Flee Bottom, a small detail that had been thought up and planned by the Spider himself. Flee Bottom housed the very poorest of the city. The people least cared for by the ruling classes and those most easily persuaded that Cersei Lannister was not the queen they wanted on the throne. As expected there was quite a crowd that we had to push through. None of these people had seen a Targaryen banner in a decade and the sight of the foreign Unsullied soldiers, caused them to stare even more. Just as I had been instructed I made sure to look at the common folk we passed, making sure to take in as many faces and meet as many of their gazes as I could. To 'make them feel seen', as Varys had put it. 

The eyes that met mine held a certain emptiness and hopelessness. They belonged to emaciated faces, with raw and runny noses. For a crowd of that size its as eerily silent, only interrupted by heavy coughing here and there. I felt for a moment that I should say something to these people. To at least attempt to give them some hope. But I knew that would only have a negative effect on whatever I hoped to achieve with the queen. So I could only stare back, trying to fill my own eyes with as much warmth and comfort as I could. And I could only hope that these people did not believe the tales of me being a heartless bitch, capable of infanticide or this Wolf Witch that I was being called.

As we left Flee Bottom my heart sank and twisted as my eyes fell on Visenya's Hill and the ruin at its very top. There was still pale wisps of smoke rising from it, months after the atrocity that happened there. I quickly had to look away, feeling my eyes burn and my throat grow so tight that for a moment I thought I wouldn't be able to breathe. And for the first time in days I began to doubt myself. What if I couldn't do this after all? What if I wasn't as strong as I pretended to be. What if I am brought in front of Cersei in the throne room and break at the memories of what happened there?

I tried to calm myself with deep breathing, having to fight my own mind to push down the thoughts of Kevan and Dorna and their children and how likely it was that their ashes still lay on that smouldering hill. Turning our back to the ruin did not make things any better either. As now, we were heading up to Aegon's High Hill, and the last time I traversed this part of the city I had been in the middle of labour.