Carliene Stark

Chapter 64

Carliene

"How did you know I would blame myself?" I asked Brayla as we stood on the balcony, looking over the green meadows at the bottom of the rock. 

"Because that is what I used to do" she admitted. "One of the greatest but hardest things to learn as a midwife is that you can't help everyone. Sometimes mothers and children die, it is just the gods will I suppose" she explained. 

I bit my lip, refraining from telling her what I thought of the gods.

'She is in a better place now" she added softly. "And so is her daughter"

I swallowed the knot in my throat and kept quiet.
A daughter. And Walda had so been hoping for a boy. I wonder what she looked like. If she had the pointed features of her mother or if she took after her beast of a father. Part of me was so curious I wanted to head back into the chambers and look at the small body, but the other part knew that I would never be able to stomach the sight. Even now I could never get the picture of the small hand out of my head.
My hand instinctively travelled to my stomach as if the tough would somehow bring me closer to the child and help me assure myself that it was alive and healthy.

The sound of chatter and horses caused my attention and from a distance I noticed a band of riders entering the great gate. The golden helmets of the Lannister guards gleamed in the morning sun.
The end on my stomach turned into a fist and my body tensed as I realised the castellan had returned. "Just in time" I growled through my teeth. 

"Calm yourself Lady Carliene" Brayla advised quickly. 

"Calm myself?" I spun to face her. "He took the maester!" I pointed out raising my voice. 

Brayla nodded reluctantly. "There is nothing we can do about it now" she urged.

"Exactly" I aggreed. "A few hours earlier and there might have been hope! There have to be consequences" 

Brayla looked nervous as a pair of passing guards looked our way at my loud articulations. "Please my Lady" she pleaded. Apparently my expression already gave away what I was about to do. 

I turned around and hurried down the stairs, walking into the direction of the main courtyard with angrily hurried steps. 

"My Lady!" Brayla ran after me. "My Lady stop!" She grabbed my arm to stop me. 

"Unhand me!" I demanded, ripping my arm from her grip. 

The midwife shook her head. "Calm your anger, nothing good will come of this"

I straightened my posture, trying to look as proud as my current state would allow it. "Remember your place, you are my midwife, not my advisor" I reminded her strictly before walking on. 

I could hear her say something in protest but she made no further attempt to stop or follow me.

I reached the main courtyard, trying to find my target between the crowd of servants and guards tending to the horses and wagons, earning myself bewildered looks.
I finally spotted Daven's greasy mane as he was heading into the main hall along with his companions. I clenched my fists and stormed after them. 

"Lady Carliene!"

I got distracted as the maester called my name, causing me to stop briefly. It was Creylen, who approached me red-faced and out of breath. 

"I've heard the news" he stated once he reached me. "Please" he added looking towards the main hall and then back at me. "Whatever you are about to do - don't" 

I gave him a disappointed look. "A girl just died" I stated through clenched teeth, then shook my head as I couldn't find the right words to express the weight that I felt. "Doesn't that mean anything?"