Carliene Stark

Chapter 42

Carliene

I had a cruel dream that night. I dreamt I was at Winterfell, running through frozen mud with Robb. It seemed so real, I could almost taste how cold the air was on my tongue, and feel the frozen leaves crunch beneath my boots as we ran through the godswood. It was the worst kind of dream, because when I woke up I wished I never had.

Iris brought me my breakfast and helped me change, she was far less talkative as she cleaned around the room.

I spent my day going through the same three books, brushing my hair and looking out of the window, which provided me with the great view of the wall of the next building. I let the conversation with Lord Kevan run over and over in my head, finding tricky remarks and responses that now were no use to me. I came to the conclusion that were was nothing I could have said that would have bettered my situation. If I had told him I tried to run, he would have locked me up. If I had told him the truth about my dreams, he would have thought me crazy an locked me up.
Either way I was a fool to not have run when I had the chance. It all seemed so simple when I thought about it now. I could have just left the Inn at night, slipping off into the dark and leaving over the hills. Or even riding to Lannisport and sneaking myself onto the next best ship.

I felt ashamed and the long hours of solitude gave me plenty of time to wallow in self pity. My father had been beheaded by the Lannisters. My sister imprisoned and who knows what else. My mother and brother slaughtered in their name and my home given to a traitor. And here I was not even bothering to try and escape from them. Instead I helped them, just to prove point to some old Lord.

Stupid, stubborn bitch, I cursed myself and turned around to scream into the pillow.

You will always be my daughter, and I'll probably die just like him. Trusting the enemy.

It took four more days for anything noteworthy to happen. By then I was so bored that I kept imagining all kinds of terrible scenarios to happen, just anything to differ my day from being kept in the same four walls for days. I imagined foreign invaders attacking the castle. Even drains burning it down. Or the pox washing over the entire rock and forcing those unaffected to flee.

But the circumstances that finally let me from my chambers turned out to be rather different. On the afternoon of the fourth day there was a gentle nock on my door. I had been pacing once again, lost in thought and almost didn't notice. I was used to people just barging in without concern of my privacy.

I was dumbfounded for a moment, suddenly haven forgotten how to react in a situation such as this. It faded in the next breath though and I managed a hoarse 'Come in', after which I cleared my throat, noticing how raw it was from not talking.

A woman entered, round faced and a bit on the heavy side. By her clothes I mistook her for a septa at first, but then I recognised her face. 

"Lady Dorna?" I greeted confused. 

She nodded at me, closing the door behind her and folding her hands in her lap. I noticed that they were trembling ever so slightly and that her cheeks seemed flushed with redness.

"I don't mean to intrude"

Intrude what? My captivity, my boredom? I did not know how to respond. I had never actually talked to her, let alone in privacy. "Not at all, do you wish to sit?" I went over to the only chair in the room and pulled it towards the middle. 

She shook her head. "No"

We stood in silence as she wrung her hands and inhaled sharply. 

"What is it?" I probed, noticing that she had something on the tip of her tongue, which she desperately wanted to let go, but didn't know how.

"Its Joanna" her voice sounded tired. "She's fallen ill"

I frowned, by her state, it must have been something very serious. "Pox?"

She only nodded, inhaling sharply once again. "The maester says there is no more he can do"

A small spark of sympathy sprouted in my heart for her. Joanna wasn't her daughter, yet she seemed more than taken with her state.

"She wishes to see you" she stated once she had composed herself. 

I nodded. "Of course" anything was better than staying in this room for any longer.

Outside my door were two red cloaks already waiting for us. What a fool I was thinking Lady Dorna had come alone. One of her sons died in Robb's captivity, I remembered, she doesn't like me.

We passed through the gardens, entering a large building with airy balconies and a perfect view of the green hills to the east.

Joannas room was small but luxurious, with red velvet curtains on her bed and a large fireplace. As we entered maester Creylen was tending to her. He was wearing a large apron and gloves that went up to his elbows, no doubt to stop the disease from spreading to him.

When he no longer blocked my view, my heart sank a bit at the sight of the little girl. I suddenly remembered what a happy child she was. How naive her questions for me had been and how she had tangled herself in my skirts.
Now she lay in her bed, her face pail as porcelain, except the red blotchy spots covering her forehead from her right brow all the way to her hairline. Her little hands were covered in them too and her breathing seemed unsteady. Her eyes were closed until Lady Dorna spoke.

"Joanna dear"

Her eyes slowly opened and I could see a spark light in them as she saw me. "You came" she croaked and managed a weak smile.

I could feel a knot form in the back of my throat. "Of corse" I assured and returned her smile. 

I tried to step closer but the maester spoke up. "Please my Lady" he gestured for me to stop. "It is highly contagious, so please keep your distance"

I bit my lips and halted. I could see disappointment wash into the little girls eyes. Quickly I pulled a chair up next to her bed and sat down. "I'm here" I said, as if to assure the little girl that she was not alone by speaking it out loud.

"They say you tried to run away" her voice was innocent. 

I smiled. "They were wrong, I came back didn't I?"

"What did you do?"

I tried to stop this from happening. 

"Did you go on an adventure?" her eyes lit up.

I nodded. "That's right"

From the corner of my eyes I could see Lady Dorna gesture for the guards to leave before she stepped just beyond the open door to speak to maester Creylen. 

Joanna noticed as well. "I'm not going to get better am I?" her voice was hoarse and her words far too mature for the small frame they were coming from. 

I gave her a desperate look, trying to find the right words to giver her some hope. "You'll be fine" I simply said. 

She gave me a tired smile. "Can you tell me a story?" she demanded. 

I inhaled, trying to flush out all the sadness and focus on cheering this little girl up. "What would you like to hear?"

She shrugged underneath her thick blanket. "Anything"

I thought for a moment, trying to remember all the stories old Nan used to tell us. I started off with the children of the forest, telling her of their magic and the way they carved faces into the trees. She listened in silence, staring up into the canopy of her bed. By the time her eyes closed, the sun was painting the room in an orange glow as it set.

I sat there for a while, watching her sleep. It was so unfair that the sickness had befallen her. Her of all people. She was young and pure and innocent, and to think that she would never have the chance to grow up and experience the world, put a dull pain in my chest.
The guards escorted me back to my chambers, where Iris was waiting with my supper. I ate in silence, wondering how many people had already fallen victim to the pox inside the castle and how many more would follow.