Carliene Stark

Chapter 47

Dorna

"Are you certain?" my Lord husband demanded, not looking up from his parchments. 

"The maester has confirmed it" I assured. "And I'll have Brayla examine her"

Kevan nodded. "How did she take it?"

I shrugged. "She doesn't seem to believe it. I've sent her back to her chambers to give her a chance to stomach it all"

I truth the girl was in total denial, she had nearly been screaming by the end of their conversation. She wouldn't or didn't want to believe the gift the gods had made her. I tried to convince her that it was a miracle, but when I had started talking about the gods she had grown even more angry.

"I don't know if I believe it either" Kevan admitted. "Infertility doesn't just vanish over night" he pointed out.

I was about to point out that it was a gift from the gods, when he continued. 

"But my brother seemed to have expected that she'd get pregnant or he wouldn't have gone through the trouble of bringing her here" he dropped the parchment on his desk and finally looked at me. "Still, I'd like to be certain before delivering the news to him" 

I agreed "I've sent Brayla to examine her as we speak"

He nodded in approval. "Either way she should be kept under close watch, if it is as you say the child is very valuable for our house. I wouldn't want her to get any unpleasant ideas"

I didn't quite understand what he meant by that and wasn't sure that I wanted to know. "I'll take her under my wing, she needs support in these times"

I could see his jaw clench."Be careful" he spoke softly. "I don't trust that girl"

His worry warmed my heart and I realised how much I was missing him. I didn't see him as often as I liked as the castle affairs and the plague of the sickness kept him occupied. It had been many moons since we shared a bed and longes still since we had been intimate. Sometimes I wished for another child of my own, though I did not dare voice such hopes to him.

Sometimes I wondered weather he was disappointed in me. For not raising our children better. His first heir had abandoned us to denounce his title and family and become a devote. His second heir had been murdered in front of the eyes of his third, who would carry that trauma for the rest of his life. Martyn was a good boy, but I sometimes feared that he was too soft for what he would inherit.

"What about Ser Jamie?" I pondered aloud.

Kevan had turned back to his letters and ledgers. "He should be arriving at Kingslanding in the next weeks"

"Do you think he should be notified? It is his child after all" I pointed out.

My husband sighed and leaned on the table. "I wouldn't be so certain of that" he muttered half absent minded.

"What do you mean?" I asked confused but at the same time interested as to what gossip I had failed to hear about. 

"I mean that the two despise each other, besides their wedding night they failed to partake in any activity that may have led to conception" he explained, while I once again realised that what went on in a Lord and Ladie's chambers was by no means private in a castle such as this.
"She spend too much time with that fool Euron for my taste" he muttered. 

My eyes widened as a story of forbidden romance unfolded before me. suddenly it made sense to me why she had left the rock and more so, why she had returned. If she was indeed in love with Ser Euron he had no doubt convinced her to return with her. "You think the child is his?"

"I think it does not matter. If she is with child we should be grateful enough and not worry where it came from"

I chewed on my lips. "What about the knight?"

Kevan waved his hand. "I've sent him to Lannisport, after this development I'll probably keep him there, they won't have any contact again"

What a tragic story.

"Speak about this to no one. If she truly is pregnant the child is Jamie's as far as anyone should be concerned"

"Of course" I agreed. Wondering to myself if I should maybe speak to Carliene about these suspicions, but Kevan would surely never approve of that.

"Keep me updated on any developments, come to me with anything you need" he spoke up in a tone that told me that he was dismissing me. 

I stood up reluctantly and bowed my head. "Thank you my Lord" I said sad to leave. 

"Thank you my Lady" he retorted softly, giving me a last kind look before bowing his head over his papers once more.

That afternoon I held council with Brayla, who further confirmed the master's findings. 

"Her stomach is already showing a slight bloating and her breasts are tender" the midwife explained. "I wanted to examine her privates, but she refused intently" she excused. "She still doesn't believe a word of it" her grey eyes held pity. 

"That's alright, once her belly starts to grow, so will her faith" I assured. "Will you prepare your ointments and potions? We should strive for a boy"

The woman smiled. "I'll make sure of it" she assured.

I tanked her, kissing her cheek. I realised how excited I was about the news. I was looking forward to having a new life in the family. A baby. Someone to care for. I would care for the mother as well, and help her raise a good child. This would be the heir to Casterly Rock and to the Lannister house after all.

Carliene didn't share my excitement though. She had dug herself a deep pit of denial, from which she refused to immerse. Even though her stomach bulge was growing rather noticeable once you concentrated in it. She withdrew herself, even though I tried to spend more time with her in the next days. There wasn't much we could do in the confinement of her chambers though, as I did not trust her to be let out yet. I brought her books and came to her with my handmaids to pray. But she had shut herself away, staring at the ceiling or out of the window absent minded.

Carliene

The next weeks were hell. Dorna and her flock of sheep were by my side constantly. It would not have bothered me if we had at least ventured from the confinement of my chambers, but we never did. We sat there through the dragging hours of the day, praying, sowing and talking. At least one of them was with me at all times and I realised that they were guarding me, in their own gentle way.
All I truly wanted was to be left alone. My certainty was crumbling and my whole world had been turned around. Now that I payed more attention to it I thought that my stomach was growing over the days. And I couldn't be getting fat as I barely ate. It shouldn't be possible, but here I was, pregnant with the enemy.
It disgusted me. I wanted to hide under my blankets all day in shame. There was a Lannister growing inside of me. If father had know it would ever come to this he would probably never have accepted me. 

You will always be my daughter.

But what if she give you a grandchild that is a Lannister?

Soon my shame and sorrow turned to anger. I hated that the Lannisters were getting what they wanted. An heir for the Rock and Winterfell at the same time. The next time I saw Tywin I would drive the next sharp object in had into his eyeball, no matter the consequences. My hate for them caused me to give Dorna and her sheep nothing but silence. They weren't Lannister's directly but their excitement and happiness over something that was none of their concern made me mad.

When my anger for the Lannister's died down it in turn grew for my own mother and maester Lewin, who clearly had jumped to the conclusion that I was barren far too quickly. If they hadn't, my engagement to Renly would not have been canceled and I would have wed him.
Surely that would have meant that I would be dead by now as well, or terribly miserable at the fact that he was probably not interested in women, but at least I would still have my dignity and not be the lion's property.