Blood Ties (A Sick Shit Barnabas X OC Fanfiction)

XVII

Back to my diary.

I think I know why. I know why I was in love with Barnabas. 

I never looked at boys or men. I wasn’t allowed to, either. I was only allowed to when I would meet “the one”. So, I never got the chance to meet someone. Barnabas was the only man I saw, so I always had to turn to him for advice about love. And I saw him so much, so it was easy to spend time with him. And he just looked good. 

I remember hearing girls talking about sex. I never heard the word “sex” before and mother and father refused to tell me. So, I went to Barnabas and asked: ‘Barnabas, what is sex?’

He explained it to me. He didn’t even mind my giggles in between. 

A few years later, when I was fully educated about what sex was, I asked him: ‘Barney, what does it feel like?’

He was reading some documents.

‘Barney,’ I repeated.

‘Hm? Oh, sorry, I did not hear you talking to me. What is it, my dear?’

‘How does it feel?’

‘How does what feel, my dear?’

‘Sex.’

‘And you’re asking ME?’ he asked.

‘Yeah, I mean, you must’ve had sex many times, so… you know.’

‘Hm, yeah. Well, it feels good. And nice.’

‘Yeah, to you.’

‘Haha, just wait until you’re grown up yourself. Then you’ll crave it just as much as me.’

‘Yeah, your thing is about to fall off,’ I giggled. 

I also remember a time when we were all alone and we were joking around, right before our first kiss at our ball. 

Me and Barnabas were welcoming our guests. The women always looked at him longer than they should have looked. I heard a girl say: ‘He’s so handsome, I think I’m gonna faint.’

I felt neglected, because nobody greeted me as well. Barnabas felt it and put his arm around me. 

‘Ssh, my dear. I’ll take care that you won’t be invisible this time.’ he gently kissed my forehead.

‘Who’s that young girl?’ someone asked another.

‘That’s his sister, Venus.’

‘It’s his little sister? I thought they were lovers! I always see them walking hand in hand or arm in arm.’

‘They’re very close, yes. They’ve got a very strong bond.’

‘That’s cute.’

The next guest saw me. ‘Good evening to you too, young lady. What’s your name?’

‘Venus,’ I told him.

‘That’s my sister,’ Barnabas told him.

‘Oh, I see.’

I didn’t look away from Barnabas at any time. God, he was so handsome! And that was MY brother! Such a hunk!

‘You and your brother are very close, right?’ a woman asked.

‘Yeah, we are. He’s my best friend.’ I responded.

‘He loves you too. I see it on him. Sometimes I think that he likes you as something more than just his sister.’

‘Huh?’ I asked, dumbfounded.

‘But it’s probably my imagination, because he just loves you as his sister.’

I thought so too. A few moments of that ball gave me the shivers.

I saw Barnabas joking around with some of his friends. I knew his friends as well and I could get along well with them.

It was so… so… magical. Yeah, magical, that’s what it felt like. 

I found him on the balcony a few minutes later. I smelled it from afar: he was smoking again. But that didn’t stop me from going to him and wrapping my arms around his waist.

He gasped. ‘Oh, it’s you,’ he laughed. ‘Hey, my dear.’

‘Hi,’ I said in my most normal way. ‘Uh… I uh… everything okay?’ 

‘Yeah. Are you enjoying it too?’

‘Hm, a little. I just stuffed my face with food. I can’t get enough of those scones!’

‘Haha, you little guzzler.’ he put his hand on my neck and began to massage it.

‘That feels nice,’ I responded. 

‘Oh, there you guys are! We lost you!’ mother and father came onto us and hugged Barnabas. As usual, there was no hug for me.

‘Sheesh, our dear boy, you’re all grown up,’ father said. 

‘Venus is growing up too,’ Barnabas responded. ‘You’re forgetting about her.’

‘Venus has a long way to go. You’re already becoming a beloved businessman.’

They hugged and I was standing out, just watching them. 

Don’t cry, Venus, don’t cry. They don’t love you, so what?

But I ran away crying and hid myself in the bathroom, with a few scones.

I forgot to lock it, so I gasped when I heard it open. But I just couldn’t stop sobbing.

‘My god, there you are! I thought you’d run away!’

I heard Barnabas’ voice and then I felt his arms around me. 

‘Ssh, my dear, ssh. Don’t cry. I’m here for you.’ 

His sweet words only made me cry harder.

He comforted me and spoke reassuring words, like I was a baby. It felt so safe. 

‘Do you want your teddy bear?’ he asked, because he knew my teddy bear was another thing who could cheer me up.

‘Hm, no. Thanks,’ I whispered. 

He wiped my tears away. ‘Feeling better?’

‘Yes,’ I whispered. 

‘Then go back and enjoy your spare time,’ he said. He gave me a gentle kiss on my forehead. ‘I’ll be back at you in two minutes.’

‘Why?’ I asked. My head felt like jelly. 

‘I came here because I had to piss, but then I found you,’ he responded. 

‘Yeah, sorry,’ I stammered and I quickly got out of there. 

Then there was the rest of the night. With Barnabas. We laughed and joked around and we talked about random things. And we hugged. And, after that performance, when mom and dad showed love for me for the first time, we kissed. 

The night ended with a speech about how amazing Barnabas was. I had to say something too.

He’s my true love, he’s the one I want to marry, he’s the one I want to make love to, the one I want to kiss. 

But I didn’t say that. I said: ‘He’s my everything. I love you, Barney.’

He was so touched by that (I didn’t see him emotional that often) that he came on to me and gave me a big hug. The whole crowd went like: ‘Ahhhw.’

He kissed my cheek and said: ‘Thank you all very much. It was an amazing evening. And lots of love to everyone, especially my father, mother and my sister Venus.’

I was so tired that I was about to fall asleep while walking. Barnabas supported me and tucked me in. He then kissed me again. My breath hitched and I felt the butterflies in my stomach flutter uncontrollably. 

And now they’re still fluttering just as uncontrollably. Maybe even more uncontrollably.