Lovesong

Chapter 11

I decided to take a leisure stroll outside the TXT house just for some privacy, and time to really think. So much has happened since Just Kate came into my life, and now the acknowledgment of her leaving is finally hitting me. I was glad to see she didn't get on the plane when Gyu came home. And I knew in my heart she wasn't here to stay. But I always hoped. I walked along the path around our property until I came to the pond. It was there that I saw her. My Just Kate. Sitting on the bench. She seemed to be lost in her thoughts as well. I eased my way over to her, hoping not to disturb her. Maybe I should have kept my distance, but with Kate I can't do that. Trust me I've tried. It's not easy when you're drawn to them like a moth to a flame. My heart constantly goes out to her. And I've told Gyu time and time again that I'd back away, and yet here I am again. It's just hard when you love someone with everything you have. I heard from Kai how Soobin had treated her, and I'd been concerned about her. I was sure Gyu had handled it...or at least I'd hope so. As I approached the bench I saw my Just Kate was wrapped up in her little black book. I couldn't help but to crack a smile. Always writing. She was sitting Indian style with the book opened in her lap. Her left elbow was resting on her thigh, and her fingers were folded so delicately against her cheek. When I got in her line of vision she raised her head and peered over the rims of her sunglasses, pulling them slightly down the bridge of her cute little pinned up nose. She smiled brightly up at me, "Junnie." I always did bring a smile to her face. I motioned to the seat next to her, "May I?" She nodded, "Absolutely. It's a beautiful day, isn't it? It's so peaceful here." I had to know so I asked, "Love, are you all right? Kai told me what happened with Soobin." At first Kate was taken back by my question, her face became taut, her eyes narrowing. She asked me, "How did he...Yes, I'm fine." She stroked her neck. Had Kai been there the whole time when she'd thought they were alone? If Junnie knew, the Gyu had to know. I reached for that very hand, "Love, I'm so sorry. Soon all this will be over. Just focus on the road ahead of you." I swallowed hard. Geez, she and I had history. It's a beautiful history. Soon she'll be walking out of my life. I never dreamed it'd come to this. I always thought once Just Kate was mine...she was mine. My eyes lowered to her fingers in my hand. So soft. So dainty. So perfect. Even though she wore Gyu's rings, her hand still felt so right in mine. I sighed heavily, "I don't know why he does the things he does. I'm sorry I wasn't there to protect you." She puckered her lips, "Junnie, it's ok. Really, I'm ok. No need to apologize. So what's on your mind? Apparently something's bothering you, or you wouldn't be here?" Was it that obvious? Just Kate knew me all too well. It was then I felt the tears start to surface. I was sad. I was sad that she was leaving. Sad that she's not mine. Just sad for all that's happened to her. My precious Just Kate. I found the strength to press through the tears and smile. I had so much to be thankful for because of her. She opened me up to a whole new world of love. And I'll never forget the way she loved me. It was genuine. It was real. It was strong. It was passionate. It was wild. It was us. It's in this moment I catch myself falling. Tripping. Stumbling over the best my own heart for her. I've not been so lost in someone as I am in Just Kate. She holds my attention unlike anyone I've ever known. I get lost in her...no matter if she's doing nothing at all. I turn her palm over and trace the inside with the tips of my fingers. My eyes never left hers. She said my name. So soft. So sweetly. "Talk to me." I lick my lips as I try to find the words that's been weighing on my mind, "Love, you already know how I feel so there's really no need to say it again. I just want you to do what makes you happy. And if going to California makes you happy, then by all means, chase your dreams. I just wish somehow I was a part of that dream." She closed her black book after placing her pen in between the pages and laid it between us. She turned to face me, raising her right hand. She traced my jaw with her fingertips, "Junnie, you are. You always will be. I carry a piece of you with me in my heart. Thank you for that. Thank you for loving me. For believing in me. We'll stay in touch. You'll stay in touch with me, right?" I reached up and removed the shades from her eyes. I wanted to see us reflecting in them. I took her hand from my face and pressed it to my lips, "Yes, love. You know I will. There are many things I can give up...but you are not one of them." I watched her swoon, and I knew we still had it. This magic. This spark. This fire. I opened her book to the page she'd been writing on...across the top was written "I'll Always Remember You" in her cute swirly handwriting. Then I saw she'd been thinking of me too. My name was written underneath the title. She was writing a song for me...a song of goodbye. Oh no. Not good. This is exactly what I feared the second I saw her sitting here like this. My eyes scanned the words....
'I always knew this day would come
We'd be standing one by one
With our future in our hands
So many dreams, so many plans
I always knew after all these years
There'd be laughter, there'd be tears
But never thought I'd walk away
With so much joy, but so much pain
And it's so hard to say "goodbye"
But yesterday's gone
We gotta keep moving on
I'm so thankful for the moments
So glad I got to know you
The times that we had
I'll keep like a photograph
And hold you in my heart forever
I'll always remember you
Another chapter in the book
Can't go back, but you can look
And there we are on every page
Memories I'll always save
Up ahead on the open doors
Who knows what we're heading towards?
I wish you love, I wish you luck
For you, the world just opens up
But it's so hard to say "goodbye"
Everyday that we had
All the good, all the bad
I'll keep 'em here inside
All the times that we shared
Every place, everywhere
You touched my life
I'll always remember you'