Lovesong

Chapter 64

As soon as we got home I ran up the stairs to my room, and locked the door behind me. I wanted total privacy when I call Kate. I sat down on my bed and FaceTime her. I hoped I caught her on a break. Break? What was I thinking? We don't get breaks. She answered the call surprised to see me, "Cookie." My heart bottomed out. She looked beautiful. My glowing bride. I was speechless for a moment. I rasped, "Kitty Kate. Have I told you today how much I love you?" She blushed, "Cookie, I love you so much. I was just fixing to call you. How are things? Is everything ok?" I cleared my throat, "Yeah babe, everything's good here. I just got in from taking Soob's to the doctor." Kate seemed a bit surprised, "Oh? Really? What happened to Mari? Did she not show?" I gave my wife a disappointing look, "Oh she showed all right. Kate, sending her was not a good idea. I got up this morning to find her in our house. And she was provoking Soob's. She was concerned about starting over with him than getting him to his appointment. So I intervened and took him myself." She hissed, "Oooh. I'm so sorry, Cookie. I had no idea she'd start up with that. Bless you for stepping up. Did everything go all right?" I bobbed my head from side to side, "It's what I expected. Soob's flew off the handle once, but leave it to me to open my mouth. The doctor changed his meds and he'll have a follow up next month to see how he's doing. Kate, Soob's wants to call you, and that's what I want to talk to you about." Kate's expression fell, "Cookie, I'm not so sure." And I knew how she felt, "Baby, I understand. It's hard for me to accept, but he needs you. As crazy as it sounds, he does. We've come to some sort of agreement. Are you on board? He can call but not all the time for every little thing. Just because he panics, is no need to call. He has us, and we can all walk through this with him. He needs some sort of reassurance that you'll be there too. If it means anything, baby, you're his way out of the darkness." Kate knew that, but hearing her husband say that brought tears to the back of her eyes, "Cookie, I can't believe you're allowing this." He nodded, "I know, Kitty Kate. I've thought long and hard about it, and I can't be bitter anymore. He wants to try and be your friend. And this is just be the first step to his healing. Soob's can always call you, but you can't personally be there for now. You have your career to focus on. That's your priority. Maybe later once he learns not to be so aggressive." She agreed, "Sounds good, Cookie. I can do that. I just hope he doesn't step out of line. I want to help. I want to be there for him, and do what I can. I want to see him overcome this and be on his road to healing."

Before I give Soobin the chance to call my wife even though, I already conceded that he could, I want to talk to my best friend and find out if he thinks I'm doing the right thing. I stroll down the hall to Kai's room. As usual his door was open and he was not in there. I took the back stairs to the basement and found him in his usual spot. He had his back to the door and writing something down. I knocked on the door upon entering in case I was disturbing him. He turned in the chair and saw me through the glass wall and motioned me in. He knew I had taken Soobin to his appointment, and when I walked in he smiled, "Hey buddy. You made it back safe and sound, I see." I closed the door and made my way over to the extra rolling chair, "I did. It wasn't so bad." I pulled it over to him, "Am I interrupting anything?" He laid the pen down on the tablet, "Not really. Just writing down some thoughts I had. So everything went good? Soob's didn't put up at fight?" I shook my head no, sitting down, "His temper flared at one point, but other than that it all went rather smoothly." Kai let out a breath, "Good. I was afraid he'd be down here ready to gut me from one end to another knowing I let Mari in this morning." I grimaced, "Dude, if I were you I'd keep that to myself." He pressed his lips together, "Yeah. Thankfully he hasn't figured it out." Sometimes my best friends shocks daylight out me. My eyes widened, "Kai, I think he realized it this morning, but contained himself. He had a lot going on today and seeing her pushed him over the edge. I wouldn't worry too much about it. But we are all going to need to help him on track with his new medication. He need to be there for him to lean on when he starts freaking out." He nodded in agreement, "I can do that." I stated, raking the fingers of my left hand through my mullet hair, "Can I ask you something? I need to know if you think I did the most reasonable thing." Kai gave me his full attention, "Oh no. Does this involve Soob's?" I pouted feeling unsure that I may have made a mistake, "Yes. He asked if he could contact Kate, and I gave in. Was I wrong? I've already discussed it with Kate, but I wanted your opinion." He hummed, "Gyu, Soob's doesn't have a very good track record with her. In my opinion, I think it's too soon. I feel that Kate needs her space to get over all that he's done to her, and Soob's needs to get well. If you have made peace with his actions in your heart then ok. Maybe everything will be all right. What did Kit Kate say?" I sighed, "She was hesitant at first, but agreed to talk to him from time to time. I'm a little leery myself. But he told me he needs her, especially in the moments he feels like he's spiraling in the dark. She's the light that guides him out." Kai sat back in the chair, "Wow! That's deep. He said all that. I thought Kate was a cheap thrill for him." I cut cold eyes at him. He apologized, "I'm sorry. That's clearly not what I meant." I knew Kai, and sometimes he just says things all wrong. I pushed it aside and said, "I just don't want him to become so dependent on her. And I'm so afraid I just threw open the floodgates for him." Kai only gazed me with a half smile painted on his boyish face. He knew exactly what I meant, but he told me I was only torturing myself. I just needed to keep an eye on Soobin and not let any of it get out of hand. Giving Soobin the go with calling Kate was like giving him the keys to your my most precious car and having him slam on the gas. I could always count on Kai for advice. And I know I'm my heart he carries feelings for Kate too. I'm trying my best not to think on this too much. I need to worry more about Soobin right now. I sighed, "I just don't know, Kai. Kate wants to be there for him and help him, but I don't want to focus so much on him. She's has her music and the Gypsy. Soob's should not be her top priority." He questioned me, "And did you tell her all this? You know how Kate is. She always wants to help. And for some reason, she feels the need to take Soob's under her wing. Even miles away you know she'll arrange something. Look what she did getting him that appointment. She cares, Gyu. Whether you like it or not, Kate has a caring heart for others." I rested my left palm on the top of his head, "Kai, I never said I disliked it. That's what drew me to her in the first place. She has a beautiful heart. It's my heart, and she belongs to me." He nodded, "Than make that known so the others can see. She's your wife now. They all need to do there's a commitment there. That ito can not be severed. So are you going to let Soob's call her alone?" I closed my eyes, "Not at first. I want to be sure he only talks to her. That he doesn't say anything inappropriate or send her pictures, or anything of that nature. If that happens, that privilege is gone. I still want to keep her safe." Kai rested his chin in his right palm, "I know, buddy. Hopefully with Soob's being on the right meds we all can all get so closure. Just take it one day at a time."

Soobin was sitting in his room when I knocked on his door. He was at his desk on his iPad playing his usual favorite game. Music played softly in the background. I honestly didn't know what I walking into. He seemed to be calm. Maybe the new meds are setting in. He smiled at me, "Gyu, I'm finally beating this thing. Come. Sit. Pull up that chair." I hesitated at first, "You're playing your game. We can do this another time." He closed the game out, "I'm just killing time. Nothing compares to this moment." I pulled the chair over and sat down. He was too excited to call Kate. That worried me. He opened Kate's number and hit FaceTime. Oh, I didn't know we'd be sharing the screen. Then she answered. My beautiful wife. She smiled, "Hi, guys." Soobin grinned from ear to ear, laying the fingers of his left hand on the side of his neck. Was he blushing? And was that a dimple I saw? He swooned, "Hello, Red." Kate was sitting at the kitchen table eating cut up melons and grapes, "Hey, Soobin. You doing ok?" She salted the fruit, a little bit more than I would. He smiled, "I feel pretty good. And you?" She ate a bite of honeydew, "I couldn't be better. Taking a mental break from work. I have work tonight. I'm glad to see you're doing better. How did the appointment go?" She adverted her eyes to me, knowing I'd already told her. Soobin nodded quickly, "It was fine. Better than I expected. I owe it to you and Gyu. Thank you for looking out for me, and for being there. I don't think I would have gone if Gyu hadn't gone with me." That made my heart swell to hear him say those words. Wow! Kate wiped the juice from the watermelon from the corner of her mouth, "Oh my god, guys this watermelon is so sweet and so juicy. Soobin, that's great. Cookie's such a great guy. And I'm glad I could help in some way." Soobin literally gushed watching her, "Oh, Red, you've helped me in more ways than you'll ever know." He was flirting with her. His eyes danced with love for her. It made me a little jealous. I wasn't for sure how to take it or how to react. My eyes were all over Kate, and I never wanted to be pieces of fruit until today. Soobin pushed the black framed glasses up the bridge of his nose, and raked a hand through his hair. What the actual fuck?! His smile increased as he curled the fingers of his other hand under his chin. Who did he think he was fooling? I couldn't stand this. Did you think he was doing this so innocently? No. It was in my face. I just pray my Kitty Kate to play on it. Kate brought a piece of cantaloupe to her lips, and sunk her teeth into it. Have mercy! My libido jumped. I need to regain some control, but my wife was clearly in an inviting, teasing mood. Damn me for being in Seoul! She stated to Soobin, "I don't know what I did, but you're welcome." Then the neediness set in. His face turned melancholy, "Red, I need you. I need you to walk this with me. I know I have the guys here, but I need your support as well. I need to know you'll always be here anytime, any day. Can you do that? For me? Say you will? I need you more than anything?" The fork in her hand slipped, clanking on the plate in front of her. For some reason, I saw the naughty glint in his eyes, he was playing her. The fool was playing her right under my nose. I wanted to end this call now. Kate said softly, "Soobin, I'm here, but I can't be here 24/7. I have a career, but I'll do what I can. You have the best thing right now right in front of you. You have the support of your friends." Oh that was perfect. Did I say how much I love my wife? He pouted, "But I..." He was pressing his luck, "Kate, you're the most important thing to me. You are what keeps me going. When I'm frightened, your hand is the one I reach for for security. When I'm lost, I search for you to help me find my way. And when I'm in the dark, you are the light shining on me." Kate's green eyes shifted to me, and she knew this conversation was making me uncomfortable. She looked back to Soobin, "Soobin, that's really sweet. You're a beautiful person, and you can do this. You can't depend on me like this. You are stronger than you think. You just need to believe in yourself. Like I believe in you." He questioned, "You believe in me? But I don't have anything to offer." She raised up a hand and stroked the screen around his jaw, "Soobin, yes, you do. You have a lot to offer. Just look within yourself. The first step is believing in yourself. Look, I need to go. We can talk more later. I need to go get ready for tonight. Cookie, I love you and miss you so much." I blew her kiss and told her I love her too. She stated, "Soobin, remember...you've got this." She formed a fist, "Fighting." He returned the gesture, "Fighting. Kate, thank you. I'll be in touch." He hung up and turned to me, "Wow!" He exhaled, "That went well." I chided, "You think? You were damn near flirt...Yoy know what...never mind. I'm not going to fight or argue." I rose to my feet and left the room.