Lovesong

Chapter 9

As I approached the kitchen I heard Kate say something about the final word. Close the book. Shut the door. Goodbye. I didn't know who she was talking to until I walked in. I knew right away from behind. Soobin. Damn it! The bastard was sniffing around her tail again! And did he have his hand curled around her throat? Oh hell no! This was the last straw with me. I grabbed him by the shoulder and roared in heated anger for him to get his hands off my woman! I heard him chuckle as he kindly stepped away from her. When his eyes met mine, I brought on the tears. I was mad as hell with the way he'd been treating her, but even more so now that I had caught him red handed. Kate definitely didn't deserve any of this crap he keeps dishing out to her. I didn't care that he thinks he loves her. She's my fiancée. My Kitty Kate. And I will fight for her. I cried, acting out the scene I'd played over and over in my head if it came to this, "It kills mr to say this, but I am so glad Kate's leaving tomorrow. I'll breathe easier once she's away from you. I'm so sick and tired of you breathing down her neck! She's my woman! Not yours! She'll never be yours! I'm the one who's going to take care of her." Soobin's dark eyes washed over me and he retorted with a sneer, "You? Gyu, you can hardly take care of yourself! How will you ever take care of another person, especially her. And god forbid if she winds up pregnant! Lord knows you screwed that up! You can't even take care of the mess you're currently in!" I swiped away my tears, and grabbed ahold of the front of his sweater and shoved him full force until his back slammed against the wall. Kate shrilled, "Cookie, no." I formed a fist ready to hit him. He laughed at me, "Go ahead, Gyu. You know it's true. She's better off with anyone but you." My fist tightened and I yelled as I pulled my arm back to ready to strike, "She needs me! Not you! Not Junnie! Me! You have messed up my life from the beginning because of her! It's because of you that we're  so chaotic! All of this is your damn fault! It's your fault she's going to California!" Kate lightly touched my elbow. She pleaded, "Cookie, please. No more fighting." I turned my head to look at her. I saw peace. Calm. Love. She shook her head, "No more." I lowered my fist, and loosened my other hand on Soobin. He muttered that I was a coward, but I didn't care. I embraced my woman. She loves me. And only me. I asked if she was all right, and she nodded. "I am now. Now that you're here." Soobin rolled his eyes, "Oh please. She's was fine long before you intervened. I whipped my head back around snapping, "Bullshit! You had her by the throat! And that's far from fine!"

Soobin tried to hold his own, but that just didn't work out for him. He felt the tears brimming in his eyes. He apologized, "Kate, I'm sorry. I just...You know..." She shifted towards him. I grimaced, "Baby, it's a ploy. Damn it!" I stomped my foot, "Geez, Kate! The tears are an act! Stop trying to comfort him! No wonder he won't leave you alone!" She glared at me with icy green eyes, "Cookie, please. He's hurting." I made a perturbed sound with my mouth, "That's a bunch of baloney! He's fucked up, Kate! What he needs is help...not you! You can't go playing doctor with him! When will you ever learn?" The more Kate and I argued, the more the crocodile tears rolled down my friend's cheeks. I'd only seen him like this one other time, and that was yesterday. I reminded her, "Kate, baby...listen to me. He's the reason we are where we are." She bated me with gritted teeth, "I know that...but that doesn't change the fact that..." she directed her attention back to Soobin, "Look at him. Cookie, it takes a lot of patience to understand someone like this. Just let me talk to him. I'll be ok." I huffed, "Are you freaking serious right now? The bastard just had you by the neck? There's no way in hell I'm leaving you alone with him! I'll be over there." I pointed at the table, and stomped away, pouting like a little boy. I saw Kate approach Soobin. She had such a tender heart. That was one of the reasons that made me mad as hell with her, but love her just the same. She gently touched Soobin's left cheek, "Hey...don't cry. Please don't cry." He sniffed keeping his eyes lowered to the floor as another tear slid down his cheek, "Kate, I hate the person I am. I hate my life. I hate who I've become. You are the only thing that gives me clarity. You're the only thing in my life that makes sense." I rolled my eyes. Geez, he's milking it for everything it's worth! And she's too gullible to see it. Soobin wanted more than anything to embrace her. Just to feel her comforting touch. Her hand on his cheek wasn't enough. And he did feel bad for making her life miserable, and he wanted to make it up to her.
Kate pouted shaking her head, "Soobin, please don't say things like that. I'm really nothing special. I'm just a woman from nothing out to make a life for herself. You said so yourself...I'm not good enough for any of you." He raised sad eyes, gripping her hand to his cheek, "Red, you're everything to me. I just wish you'd see that. You're so blinded by Gyu. You always have been. It breaks my heart. Kate, I'm ashamed of the things I've said and the things I've done. I do it because I'm so in love with you." Gyu coughed into his fist, "Bullshit!" Then spoke up, "Soobs, you're spiteful. Condescending. You're an asshole. She's can't be your everything when she's already mine. You don't mistreat the one thing you love. That's not the way love works. And I love her. You're just poisoned by your obsession. Deceived by the idea of loving her. You've manifested this Kizzy fettish by using my Kate as your target. All these tears...I'm not buying into it. You can fool her all you want, but I know the monster that you are." Kate spun around in shock, "Beomgyu Choi!" Oh shit! She used my full name. She's really pissed with me. I fidgeted with the hem of my T-shirt, "It's the gods honest truth, Kate. Don't use that tone with me. You said so yourself. He's wishing for a beauty and beast fairytale. Newsflash, Soobs! It ain't happening! The beast doesn't get the beauty in this fairytale!" Kate stomped her foot, "Cookie!!" I know it sounded cold, but I needed to make myself very clear. Kate belonged to me! Even I saw another tear fall when he blinked. What the hell happened in his childhood that caused him to be so evil? Kate snapped at me, "Get out! I can handle this without you adding to it." That did it. I was fuming. This cretin had weened himself into her heart. I banged a fist on the table, "The hell I am, Kate! I don't trust him! The second I'm out of sight he'll pull out his horns! I'm staying!" Kate turned back to Soobin rolling her eyes at me. What the total f***? Kate never in all my years of knowing her. We've had our share of words. We've had our share of fights. But she never disrespected me like that.  I just didn't understand this. I knew she was taking a risk, and I didn't like it. I didn't like the fact that he had Kate and I snapping at each other. I'm sure this was his every intention. It just made me furious that Kate refused to see anything but his tears. I tried not to watch because if I did, I'd say something I really shouldn't. Soobin had me living in fear along with Kate simply because of the way he treated her, and knowing the things he did to jeopardize my life. The way my Kitty Kate was coddling him made my stomach churn. She took his face into her hands and lifted his head, "Soobin, talk to me. What's all this really about? These tears. Your fascination with me." He blinked. He didn't know how to answer that. He'd dealt with his own demons all his life. And it was those demos that made him the man he is today. How could he tell her that? It sounded so crazy. This beautiful woman was holding his face in her hands, and he couldn't say a word. His tears was a cry for help, and he'd hoped she understood. Talking out his pain was never something he'd ever been able to do. And he truly didn't want Kate to see him as anything less. He just wanted someone to understand. Sometimes the pain was unbearable. Kate searched his face for the answers. She only knew somewhere buried within this man was the child was suffering...but from what? She pleaded again, "Soobin, please. I can't help if you won't talk to me." I huffed, "Kate, just give it a rest." Soobin lowered his head to her shoulder. At first Kate was confused. This wasn't the response she was looking for, but maybe it was what he needed. She slowly circled her arms around his neck, "It's ok, Soobin."

Tae walked in completely taken back by the tender moment between Kate and Soobin. He saw me sitting at the table and asked, "What is up with that?" I curled my upper lip, "Just Soobs turning on the water works again." Tae stopped in his tracks debating about something. That's when he pulled Kate out of Soobin's arms, "Come with me." Kate smiled, "Tae. But..." He led her over to the sliding glass doors that led outside, "Let me explain something to you." I sat at the table lost in to what was going on. When had my Kitty Kate become so involved with all my friends? And what was Tae saying to her. Kate looked horrified. Speechless even. Was it about Soobin? Outside Tae sat in a chair next to Kate. He folded his hands between his legs, "Shortcake, there's something you need to know about Soobs. Something no one knows about...not even them in there. I only know because I've known him for a long time. I've seen the horror in the Choi household. Soobs was abused as a child. His father abused his mother. Knocking her around and all. And he took it all out on Soobs too. He had anger issues and drank a lot. And in return Soobs mom didn't know how to show her love towards her own son so she isolated herself from him. The whole family was living in a permanent hell. And it just happened one day that he stumbled across you. We were just kids high on hormones. He saw you on the softball field. It was like you had saved him. His own personal angel. You were his outlet from the demons that brewed within and around him. And the rest is history. He's not crazy, Shortcake. Just a little lost." Kate shook her head in disbelief, "Tae, that's horrible. No wonder he's...Oh god..I feel so bad for him. I understand now. Thank you for telling me."

Kate walked back inside and noticed Gyu had left the room. She saw Soobin had his back to her talking to Kai. She headed straight for him. Her heart went out to him and she approached him with tears in her eyes. She tapped his shoulder. He turned his head towards her, still puffy eyed and sad. He seemed a bit surprised to see her, and for whatever reason she wasn't running for the hills after what Tae had told her. He had known at that moment that his own best friend had opened the door to his dark past. But here she was. Unafraid. She pressed her lips together, "Soobin, can I hug you?" Kai glanced at her unsure of what was going on. The situation was so different from what he had walked in on earlier. Soobin turned around and Kate pushed up on her tip toes. Why was he so tall? She circled her arms around his neck, holding him so tight. Soobin had never felt this kind of warmth before. He eased his arms around her slender waist and buried his face in the crook of her neck sobbing. She consoled him, "It's ok. Let it out. I'm so sorry that happened to you. No one deserves the hell you were put through." She took his face between her hands, "Soobin," she ran her thumbs over his cheekbones, "you, beautiful, beautiful boy. You are so much more than you know. You are so loved. And you will find love one day. And one day love will find you." Those words alone made his tears fall harder than before. The woman he loved so much was speaking with so much love to him. He felt so much in this moment. She was clearly like a dream to him looking at him. Too good to be true. For once in his life we felt like he belonged. His angel just wasn't a vision. She'd really come to save him. To save him from himself. His heaven has come down to earth. And she was leaving, leaving him to his permanent hell.