Lovesong

Chapter 17

I notice the look on Soobin's face when he plopped down into the chair next me. It still concerned me that Kate hasn't returned, and where is Junnie? I know he walked out of the restaurant, but why hasn't he returned? Is he mad with me? This afternoon was too much. My feelings for Kate was something I wanted to carry to the grave. As much as I have come to admire her, and secretly think of things with her, I'd never cross the line with my friendship with Gyu. Here next to sits the very person who'd do just the opposite. I lean into my best friend and ask, "Soobs, what did you do?" Soobin kept his face buried in his hands thinking to himself... 'I ate her out until she rained in my mouth then I took her with a full force, driving myself right over the cliff.' The waiter approached our table asking if we were ready to order. Soobin lifted his head, "I have another whiskey. Make it a double." I glared at him. It was then I saw it. The pain of Kate in his eyes. Not good. I dared to ask, "Where's Kate?" He cut cold eyes on me snapping, "The hell if I know! Why don't you ask Junnie?" What Junnie have to do with this? I only asked him because he looked suspicious and completely on edge. Besides, he only drinks heavily when he has something weighing on his mind..and that something or someone is none other than Katelyn Blue. I glance briefly at Gyu to see if he noticed what Soobin had said. Apparently not. He was laughing at a joke that Kai had shared. Leave it to our makenae to keep Gyu entertained. God love him, but sometimes he's so clueless. Something's happened. I can sense it, and Gyu just sits here nibbling on the pumpkin nickel bread and laughing along with Kai. I didn't know what it was going to take to get him to move and go check on his girl. If I dared to move, I'm sure they would all wonder why. And Soobin's turned into a lush. If I could find Kate, I'd find the answers. Then it dawned on me. I wasn't there. I didn't save her, or protect her. Oh damn! How was I to know? If I'd seen it I would have rescued her from Soobin's monstrous claws...just like a million times before. But I can't be for sure if he's done anything. I'm just assuming. Then I get a whiff of vanilla, but Kate's not at the table. Wth?? My mouth suddenly goes dry and I reach for my glass of water, taking a long drink. Gyu catches my eye, and I hope he can read what I'm not saying. It's not easy sitting here and not be able to say anything. I've always been one to speak what's on my mind. And lately I've had quite a bit to say about Kate. And now that Junnie knows my true feelings, I'm afraid to say anything. I don't want anyone else to know, especially Gyu. Maybe one day I'll find a way to let Shortcake in on my little secret. Until then I'll just have to lay low. Gyu asks me if I'm all right. What am I to say when I can't say it out loud? I simply nod, "I'm fine. Just wondering how much longer with the others. I'm ready to order." Gyu looked at his watch, "Yeah. I hope Kate's ok. It's not like her to be gone this long." And there it was. He finally hit the nail on the head. But he's still not moving. Junnie finally rejoins the table. He looks like a sad dog that he been rejected by his favorite kind of treat. His eyes quickly scan around the table. I can tell he's looking for Kate. He asked when he realizes she never made it back, "Where's Kate?" My mouth drops open...Exactly. Why are we sitting on our asses? Junnie looks at me and I shrug. His eyes land on Soobin who is still nursing his glass of whiskey. Soobin doesn't dare too to even raise an eye, but I can tell he's shaking in his skin. What had he done? It brings back memories of that god awful night. I gulped. Please tell me he didn't. Not here. Not now...when she's leaving. Would he stoop that low? Had he? I wanted to punch him to find out. And I'd never wanted to hit someone no matter how mad they made me, but here lately, I've wanted to strangle Soobin for all that he's done. Kate never deserved any of this. Gyu didn't either. He never should have perused with his original plan. All should've been left alone, but he was desperate. Too desperate. I heard Kai say to Gyu, "Dude, it has been too long. You might want to go check on her." Finally...thank you, Kai. But even after what was said, Gyu still sat there. I wanted to scream "what is your problem?" I was growing more and more impatient. Something had to give. Someone had to move, and as much as I wanted it to be me...like a fool I stayed in my chair. I felt as though Junnie was watching every move I made. With him knowing my true feelings towards Kate, I'm uncomfortable in my own skin. It was easier when I was incognito. I could cater and protect her without worrying what the others thought. Not anymore. I got lazy. I never should have scribbled her name on that damn pad. I got careless. My heart got carried away in that song. But the words were true. So many things I've been meaning to say. The words I've held inside for too long. The things I didn't have the heart to express. I rise from my seat and glare at Gyu, slamming my palms down on the table. I roar, "Get off your ass, Gyu! Put down that bread and go find your god damn woman! We don't have all night to wait on her!" Gyu jumped, rattled by my tone. It's been a long time since I snapped at him. The bread slipped from his fingers onto the saucer in front of him, his eyes widened like a deer in head lights. I'm not mad at him for being so innocent and naive. I'm mad at the situation of what might have happened. And he's yet to notice the change in Soobin since he's returned to the table. I nudged my chin up, directing Gyu to get up. If he didn't I'll reach across this table and pull him to his feet myself.