Lovesong

Chapter 5

Kate is and will always be the love of my life. It's crazy to say since she's engaged to my best friend. But she was mine first. I'd never been with anyone emotionally and physically until Kate. We were each other's first and I had hoped to be each other's last. All that changed that week at the lodge. I should had seen the signs, but I was blinded by love. Blinded by the way we were. Kate had eyes for Gyu all along, and Gyu was all into her. Secretly sneaking around with her. Even when she was mine, Soobin messed with her. Frightening her with his possessive ways. Now as I'm standing here listening to his words, watching him, I'm in awe. He saying things I've said for so long. Long after Kate and I split. But did we ever really call it quits? We have a fire that can't be tamed. Attraction that never goes unnoticed even to the naked eye. She's my beautiful Just Kate. I always feel the need to protect her. I care so much for her, and I never want to see her hurt, and this man has hurt her one too many times. He's showering her now, but it can turn at any second. All she has to do is say the wrong thing or make the wrong move....and that's where I come in. Something went down while I was gone, but what?? I can sense it in the air in the room. See it on Kate's face. She's too soft towards Soobin. And he's all giddy and mushy. Wth?? There's a twinkle in his, and tears in hers. But I can't tell if her tears are tears of pain or tears of something else. Had Soobin made another move while we all had our backs turned? And why is so determined to be loved by my Just Kate? I want to step in, pull her aside, and redirect her eyes back on me. Seeing her with him, makes me uncomfortable. I'm so used to holding her attention. Sidetracking her. Tripping her up in her relationship with Gyu. Many times I vowed to step back, and let her live her life with Gyu, but loving Kate just does something to me. She's not easy to get over. I've tried testing the waters elsewhere, trying to love someone else but I always compared them to my Just Kate. No one else did it for me. Trust me, I've tried a time or two, and I keep coming back. I can't get over her or past her. We had something strong. Something real. Maybe it's because we're purely sexual. We enjoy the thrill of each other. Hands on. Wild. Passionate. One touch and we're going down in flames. I never knew the day I met Kate I'd still be a fool for her. She's all I see when I open and close my eyes. She haunts me dreams and guides me throughout my days. Right now I can't move. I'm crushed. She's touching him. And it should be me. The very man that drove her to me vodka is the very man that drove her back to his arms. What kind of game is he playing? It was just yesterday that I stepped in after he hit her, knocking her off her feet. It was just yesterday we had a conversation on keeping his distance. No matter how he feels. He shouldn't let his heart rule his head...not since she's promised to another. I had to eat my own words with him because it's everyday that my heart always leads me to her. She's the reason I make those trips to Daegu and visit the Gypsy so often. But all of that is coming to an end. The road to California is ahead of her. My heart is breaking. We've had our ups and downs, but we had our share of love. And when we loved, we loved hard. I'm lost in a web of mixed emotions just as Soobin leaves the room. I didn't hear the last of their conversation. I was too consumed by my own thoughts. I wasn't aware that it was just me and Kate until she touched hand.

It was like I'd come to life. Simply her touch gives life, gives meaning to everything I do. She's like a refreshing drink of water. I was gushing and all smiles suddenly. She grabbed the bill of the black baseball cap on my head, "Hey...where did you go?" I smiled at her, "Lost in thoughts of you...us, Just Kate. You ok? What was all thought about? Love, you know you can tell me anything? What's going on?" She pressed her lips together, "Junnie, that's so sweet. I often go there too here lately." She winked at me. I pulled the bottle of vodka from the sack, "Have a shot with me. You look like you could use one." She eyed the bottle then me, and ran her tongue over her lower lip and nibbled there as though she were debating her answer. My god! She's so adorable. My adorable Just Kate. I peeled the plastic abs unscrewed the cap, "Then we'll talk." I retrieved two shot glasses from the cabinet. As I poured she said, "Junnie, I really shouldn't." I sat down at the table and motioned get to joined me. As she slid into the seat to the to the left of me, I slid a shot to her. I raised mine, and she did the same. We clinked glasses and slung the shot back with a smile. Aw...how this brought back memories of doing tequila shots with her at the Gypsy. I brought my left hand up to my mouth and curled my fingers there. I cracked a smile, watching the way she shook her head as she swallowed the clear liquid. I found myself biting my bottom lip. What is going on in my Just Kate's head? I cleared my throat, "Ok, love. Spill. Are you and Soob's good? I overheard some of the things he was saying." She sat the shot glass down on the table, "Junnie, I'm just trying to pacify him until I leave tomorrow." I offered one more as I poured myself one, "Pacify? Love, I  know you like to please people, but pleasing him will lead to trouble, and I don't want him causing more trouble for you and Gyu. I should be the only one doing that." She snickered, "You always do." She's right. God, I love this woman! My Just Kate. She accepted another shot and we toasted each other, taking the hit. I had no intentions on getting her drunk, or tipsy. I just wanted her to open up a bit about her and Soobin. And I'm not even sure she will. Kate and I had always been close...even long after we ended things. We always found d out way back to each other. We was never a mistake...yet at times we were each other's beautiful mistake. I replaced the cap on the bottle, moving it aside. I asked her, "Love, it's final. Tomorrow's it. The end of being here for awhile? What about Daegu? Have you considered staying there? The TXT house is yours for as long as you like." Her mouth formed an "O" as she exhaled. She turned those sexy green eyes on me, "Junnie, I don't want to go, but it's necessary that I do. And I appreciate the offer of staying in the house, but I think I extended my stay. Too memories are in that place. It's time I set out on my own." My heart saddened. She was serious. This was the end of us for now. I was happy for her, but sad for us.