Chapter 149: Abhorrence of the Self

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The door closed. You could hear her sly condensing laughter in the hallway. The sounds of her footsteps echoed, and with each step they grew increasing faint.

You were left with your thoughts and a dreadful feeling of inadequacy.

You stood locking the door to your room. You didn't want anymore, visitors. Your back slammed against the door as you slid down to the floor with a thump.

Moments later you collapsed into a hushed sob, you had to cry but you didn't, couldn't make a sound.

If anyone heard you, it would only further your torment.

You sat there wallowing in sorrow for an inordinate amount of time. But even still the burdens of living weighed upon you.

Pangs of hunger had stricken you. Though you were prepared. You often hid food during the times you preferred to keep to yourself. Whether they did not know or simply turned a blind eye you could not say.

Regardless, you slowly ate some bits of dried meat, cheese, and bread and washed it down with a gulp of water.

You felt pathetic and sunk deeper into your own self-loathing.

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