Love Hate Relationship

Chapter 55

Lexa was sitting at her kitchen table working on her laptop, catching up on emails. She was finding it hard to concentrate, as had been the case ever since she last saw Clarke almost a week ago. Was it almost a week? Surely, it was more. No, today was Wednesday. It was not quite a week. God, she was on her mind this much, and it had only been five damn days? And all she'd been doing these past five days was struggling with conflicting feelings. Waging a war with them. One part of her was excited to get to know Clarke better as a friend, the other part of her was filled with dread, the thought of being around her, constantly battling her attraction. She prayed for Clarke to be right. That the attraction would fade the more they got to know each other. There was that small sliver of doubt, however. Who was she kidding? It was bigger than a sliver.

Her dream last night had been a doozy. She was walking with Clarke in the mall, a child between them, a little girl with a mass of curly blonde hair. She looked like a tiny angel. They each had one of the little girl's hands, swinging her back and forth, to the child's delight. Her laughter ringing out, making them both smile. Great, now she was having babies with Clarke. Rubber duck fucked.

She looked up and started laughing at one of the kittens, the swatter. He was walking along Milo's back, like he was balancing on a rolling log, swaying this way and that, but never falling off. She took out her phone and took a quick video of the high wire act. She brought it up to make sure it turned out. Her fingers hovered over it, itching to send it to Clarke, the one person who would appreciate it. They hadn't spoken since last Friday. She was hesitant to reach out to her. She had no idea why. Maybe this was the ice breaker she needed. She hit the message button and sent it off.

The reply was instant and made Lexa laugh.

Clarke was relaxing in the surgeon's lounge, killing time before she had to meet her mom for coffee. She rested her head on the back of the couch, closing her eyes. Lexa's face swam into view, her soft smile, the light scattering of freckles across her nose, so faint, almost invisible. But not when you were close, not when you were invading her personal space. Then they were visible. Her phone buzzed with a text, and she assumed it was her mom wanting to meet now. When she looked at who it was from, a huge smile broke across her face. Suddenly, it was like a gloomy day brightened, like the sun peeked through the clouds, like a warm breeze filled the air. She felt extraordinarily light on the inside. She laughed out loud at Lexa's kitten dancing along the back of a very large pit bull. It was quite comical.

=cat lover= Clarke typed. She waited, seeing the tell-tale reply bubbles.

=i give up. what can i say? they've melted my cold dog loving heart=

Clarke knew there was no way Lexa's heart was cold. But she didn't want to send any mixed signals by saying that. So, she kept it light. =ah ha! i knew it! now about those names...=

=oh i named them= Lexa messaged.

=and?=

=guess you'll have to visit sometime to find out=

=boo!= Clarke waited for a reply, but instead got a picture of Lexa's kittens curled up in her kitchen sink, playing with each other's tails. The smile on Clarke's face expanded, as she typed =SFA=

= ? =

=super fucking adorable= Clarke explained.

=LOL. SFA, i like that. so what are you doing= Lexa asked.

=just got out of surgery=

=did it go well=

=it did=

=don't need any 'friendly' comfort=

=LOL i think i'm good= Clarke hesitated, then shrugged and texted =this time= She knew that last part may have been overstepping the friendship boundary a smidge, was categorically mixing the signals, but she couldn't help herself. Why, it was the perfect setup. It begged for such a response. She would have felt bad if she didn't say it.

=wha?=

Clarke didn't want to explain, so she changed the subject. =what are you doing= Clarke asked.

=just sitting here reading my emails. watching my kittens. took that video and thought of you, figured you might like it=

=aw, so you thought of me? such a sweet 'friend'= Clarke typed. She sent the text, then added, =wait til jinx hears about this=

Lexa sent a scared-face emoji. =your cat frightens me=

=OMG YOU'RE a scaredy cat! = Clarke found a gif of a scared kitty, back arched, tail erect, and sent it along.

She was soon gifted with another video, one of the kittens playing fetch. Clarke watched as a small fuzzy ball was launched across the room, chased down, picked up and brought back to Lexa's feet. She laughed. =they fetch better than oliver=

=don't you worry lil lady we'll learn that dog some fetch ;)=

Clarke giggled at Lexa's use of words. =learnin' and a fetchin' sounds like a plan=

= :) ok, clarke, gotta roll, have a good one. talk soon?=

=def. bye lex=

Clarke was so absorbed in her conversation that she didn't even notice Monty standing in the doorway watching her.

"Who are you talking to?" Monty asked.

Clarke looked up, startled. "Oh god, you scared me. I didn't know you were there."

Monty chuckled. "I've been here for about twenty seconds. Is that Finn?"

"Finn? Ah, no, why?"

"Oh, I just assumed. You were positively beaming, so I thought you were texting with him."

"No, just a friend of mine."

"That's not a person of romantic interest, is it?" Monty said, jokingly.

"Why do you say that?" Clarke asked, a little too quickly.

"I don't know, you just looked...super happy. Haven't seen you look like that in a long time."

Clarke lightly played it off, to cover her ass. "Well, it's just Lexa. Did you meet her at Raven's party?"

"Brunette?"

"Yeah."

"Really pretty?"

"Yeah."

"I did. She seemed really nice."

"She is. She's really nice. She's great actually." Clarke bit her lip. Oh god, did she gush? That was definitely a gush. Reel it in Clarke. "I mean, yeah, she's okay."

"Oh, now she's just okay?" Monty teased.

"What? No, I mean, yeah, she's nice..."

"Clarke," Monty interrupted, "I'm just busting on you, you don't have to defend yourself. This is and always has been a no judgement zone, am I right?" Monty grabbed his satchel out of his locker.

Clarke looked relieved at Monty's reaction. "Yeah. I just like her I guess."

"I can tell. It's fun to make new friends." Monty started out the door, then turned, "It's good to see you smiling. And if she makes you that happy, you should hang out with her more."

Sometimes Clarke felt like Monty could see into her soul.

----------------------------------------

End of Chapter 55