Love Hate Relationship

Chapter 66

This time Clarke let her sleep. All the while staring at that smile, which remained on Lexa's face as she slept. Clarke fought the urge to lean down and place her lips against it. Instead, she sat down in the chair, pulled her legs up into her chest and closed her eyes, one hand still entwined with Lexa's.

Her peacefulness didn't last long, as she heard someone clear their throat. Opening her eyes, she found Finn standing in the doorway.

"Clarke?"

Clarke's stomach dropped, and she swore her heart stopped beating. "Finn. Hey," she said quietly. He was dressed in a tux, obviously coming from the formal company dinner that was tonight. And Clarke forgot all about it. Shit. She discreetly released Lexa's hand.

"Clarke, what are you doing here?"

"Lexa was in an accident." She kept her voice down to avoid waking Lexa up.

"I know. Bellamy texted me about golfing tomorrow. So, I asked if he'd heard from you, since you didn't show up at the dinner. I didn't know where you were, or if something happened to you. And then he told me about Lexa. He said it wasn't bad, that she just had a slight concussion."

"Concussions can be dangerous."

"I kept calling you and texting you. I was so worried, Clarke. Why didn't you answer your phone?"

Clarke took a look around, realizing she wasn't even sure where her phone was. "Oh, shit, I think I left it in my car, I'm sorry."

"Clarke, it was my dinner tonight. I was the only one there without my girlfriend."

Clarke could sense his agitation. His posture was stiff, and his usually warm eyes were unreadable. "I'm so sorry. I guess I lost track of time."

"This was important. I told you months ago how important this was to me."

Clarke was at a loss. She looked over at Lexa, who appeared to be resting comfortably. Clarke knew she owed Finn an explanation, so she got up from her chair and motioned him into the hallway. They walked until they found an empty room, shutting the door for privacy.

Finn looked despondent. "What's going on?"

"What do you mean?"

"I know something's wrong. I'm not stupid. You've been so distant lately, for months. Hell, maybe for the past year. What's going on?"

"Nothing." Clarke needed time to think. She wasn't feeling mentally strong enough to have this conversation right now, not with her feelings for Lexa simmering under the surface.

Finn grabbed her hand. "Clarke, talk to me. Please tell me what's wrong. Don't you wanna get married? Have a family? Don't you love me anymore?"

Clarke didn't know how to answer, because anything she said was going to cause him pain. And she did love him. She just wasn't in love with him. But she knew he deserved an honest answer. "Of course, I love you, I-"

"If you loved me, you would have known how important this dinner was tonight, and you would have been there. This hospital is full of capable doctors who could have been taking care of Lexa."

"I know. I know that." Clarke carefully pulled her hand back.

"Clarke, do you still love me?" His voice cracking from emotion.

"I...I do love you..." Clarke was having trouble coming clean.

"Why do I feel like there's a 'but' in there?"

Clarke knew she had to find the strength. She at least owed him that. Her voice was low and tinged with sadness. "I love you...I'm not sure...I'm in love with you."