Love Hate Relationship

Chapter 81

Clarke slowly opened the door to the apartment, her stomach knotted up with dread. Niylah was suddenly in front of her, shrieking happily and pulling her into a kiss. She pulled back and dragged Clarke into the living room, her voice pitched high with excitement. "I packed up the kitchen stuff and the bathroom stuff, so all that's left is your clothes. My sister called, and she put the deposit down on that apartment that we both liked. Did you hear back from NYU? I can't believe we're gonna live in New York! God, I love that city." Suddenly Niylah realized that she was the only excited one in the room. "Clarke?" Niylah's voice was suddenly full of concern. "Are you all right?"

Clarke grabbed Niylah's hands and led her to the couch. "We have to talk."

They both sat down. "Clarke you're scaring me. What's wrong?"

Clarke held onto Niylah's hands. "I can't go. I can't go to New York with you."

Niylah stared with her mouth half open. "What?"

"I can't go with you. I have to stay here. I have to-"

"What do mean you can't come with me?" Niylah interrupted. "We've been planning this for six months, Clarke. What happened? Is it your mom? It's your mom isn't it. And your dad. They're telling you not to come, aren't they? What did they say?"

"They want me to stay in Seattle and go to med school here, and-"

"Babe, you're a college graduate now, you can do whatever you want." Niylah was getting angry. "Stop placating them. Live your fucking life, the life you wanna live. The life we both wanna live. This is a huge deal for me. Broadway, well, off, Off-Broadway, doesn't come knocking on your door very often."

"Niy, please, listen to me. Yes, they want me to stay, but not for them."

Niylah crossed her arms. "Then for who?"

"It's my Gram. My parents just told me she's been diagnosed with Alzheimer's." Clarke sighed. "I stopped over to tell them I was going to New York and they told me."

"So right when you were going to leave, they tell you. Unbelievable. How long did they know?"

"I don't think for very long, why?"

"It just seems odd, that the exact moment you say you're going to New York, that they tell you that. They're just trying to control you, as usual. They're using Gram to keep you here."

"I don't know if that's it or not, but she won't have many good years left. I have to be here for her. She was everything to me growing up." Clarke squeezed Niylah's hands. "Look, New York is a big deal for you, and you need to go. We'll be fine. I'll visit when I can. We'll be together when you come home for break. We can make this work, I promise."

"Another promise? You promised we would move to New York together and make a life." Niylah softened and cupped Clarke's face gently. "Clarke, I don't want a long distance relationship. I love you. I want you with me."

"I love you too, it's just that...I need to stay here. It's the right thing to do. It's my Gram, Niy. You and I can still be together; it'll just take some work. I'm willing to try. Please," Clarke pleaded. "I don't have a choice. I have to stay."

Niylah's eyes puddled up with moisture. "It's the right thing for who, Clarke? You? Or your parents?"

"For my gram, Niy."

"Clarke, Gram Ev always wanted you to be happy. She always wanted you to follow your dreams."

Clarke rubbed at her temples. There was a crushing weight settling on her chest, and she was having trouble drawing a breath.

"There's always a choice Clarke. You could choose to come with me."

"I can't right now. But I will at some point."

"Some point? When would that be, Clarke?"

Clarke knew her Gram would have maybe one or two good years left. Maybe less. Then the ravages of Alzheimer's would take over and things would get very bad. She couldn't give a time table. "I don't know."

"Clarke, I need you with me. I'm moving across the country, I don't wanna do that alone. I want my girlfriend with me."

"Niylah, please understand."

Pain was etched all over Niylah's face. "Remember what happened to Sue and Jen?"

Sue and Jen were close friends of theirs. Jen moved to Chicago for a job opportunity, leaving Sue behind, both promising they'd make it work. It lasted six months.

"Clarke, long distance relationships don't work." Niylah brushed at the tears that slipped from her eyes. "At first, you think they will. You call, every day. Then you get busy, and you call once a week. And then life starts getting in the way, and suddenly, you don't remember the last time you called." She took a tissue from the box on the coffee table and blew her nose. "I don't want that, Clarke. Please. Come with me."

Clarke felt like she was falling from a cliff and there was nothing to grab onto. It was a no-win situation. Her choice was made as soon as she found out Gram Ev was sick. "I can't," she whispered. "Not right now."

Niylah shook her head. "You have to choose Clarke. Come with me now, or..." Her voice trailed off.

"Or what?"

"It's over."

Clarke's gut clenched. She knew she couldn't leave Gram Ev. Not now.

Niylah bit her lip and nodded her head. Clarke's silence spoke volumes. "Okay. I guess that's it then."

"Niy-" Clarke reached out a hand.

Niylah flinched and backed away from Clarke. "No." Niylah's voice broke and a sob escaped. "You made your choice. So just go. And don't bother calling me."

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End of Chapter 81