Band Oneshots

Not throwing it away again (Nikki Sixx X Tommy Lee)

Tommy opened the door to his hotel room. It was too bright. It was too neat, because Nikki had come in like a tornado and cleaned it all up before they left for the gig that night. Tommy suggested that cleaning may help, because Nikki was overly excited, and he needed something to do otherwise he was gonna throw a fucking fit like Vince had done that morning.

The door squeaked on its hinges, bumping against the wall. Tommy turned around and put his foot through the wood, the sound harsh, piercing through the silence. He braced his hands against the door and kicked the bottom of it in, marking the wall behind it, tearing the wood apart.

Eventually he stopped, just standing there looking over the door like it was gonna take him back in time to that morning.

His breath shook in his chest, and he walked over to the fridge, pulling out a bottle of vodka. Tommy was just going to pretend he didn't see the small pile of needles, spoon, and the lighter he gave to Nikki on the side next to it. He downed half the bottle in the first swig, crying as he swallowed. It didn't make him feel better so he hurled the glass bottle at the already-cracked television set. The sound of shattering wasn't any more fucking comforting than the cracking door was.

Tommy knew he looked like shit. The eyeliner, so carefully applied, was probably smeared across his face in black tear-streaks. His shirt was probably still stained with blood, as was his face and hands. He sat on the bed in the hotel room, remembering those last words, and the smile he got.

Tommy had just shared some insecurity he had, something about him dying because of this shit one day. "I'll always be with you T-bone." Tommy had hugged Nikki then, long and tight, arms around his neck, his roots coming through and breaking up the black hair dye tickling his arms from the elbow down as Nikki leaned in and kissed his shoulder. Tommy realised that Sixx may not have meant that physical but spiritually.

Now, he touched the spot that Nikki had kissed with his soft plump lips, the way he'd looked at Nikki with a bit of eyeliner smeared below his lower lash line. It was sexy.

The phone rang, and it was probably Vince, begging him to come back, that they had to stick together now more then anything, that there friendship was more important now than anything. Tommy picked it up, but he didn't answer. Instead, he smashed it back down, breaking it, and he heard a swear from the other end, but he didn't stop as the tears started to fall again. The phone ended up beneath his boot, crushed to pieces. Tommy hugged himself, pulling at the tattoos on his skin, stretching them with his fingers, pressing red marks into the skin.

He went into the bathroom, and the sound of the door hitting its stop against the wall was faint underneath the pounding of his own head. He looked at himself in the mirror. Shit, he thought, but the makeup wasn't the problem. He pulled the bandanna from his head, along with his sunglasses. He looked a little better. Tommy parted his hair to the side instead of in the middle. It actually looked nice. He smiled a little, and then felt bad.

The void returned to swallow him up. Tommy kicked out against the shower door and felt it crack, feeling a surge of adrenaline he grabbed the hairdryer and put it through the glass, shielding himself from the shards of glass that grazed his arm and brought thin lines of blood to his reddened skin. He wasn't going punch the glass, he was smarter than that, but he was glad he was alone. He didn't think he could handle anyone else right now.

He looked at the hairdryer, broken and battered in a pile of glass, slightly submerged in a thin film of water from the last time the water hit the tiles. Tommy thought it might have been Nikki, showering for the first time in about three weeks, washing old makeup off and getting rid of the stench that came with never bathing. Tommy slumped against the wall, whining quietly, the pitch rising into a furious cry of anguish, his hands fisted in his messy hair, his face red and his eyes puffy.