F#cking Professor Rengoku - AU Rengoku x Reader +18

Chapter 29

(y/n)'s POV:

"I could say the same thing if I'm honest..." I replied to Kyojuro. Probably with an excuse he came out from the hospital room to come after me so he could talk to me. "Kyojuro..."

Averting my gaze from him I tried to think of a way to explain all those things that ran through my mind, now knowing that he wasn't lying to me about his mother. I tried to form an apology in my brain but to no avail. I didn't even know where to start.

I guess he knew that too, because he stayed silent and waited for me to collect my thoughts. His eyes pierced my skin. I knew very well that he was watching me while me on the other hand was unable to make eye contact.

"I-..." I trailed off immediately, still not sure about the sentences I formed in my head. I wasn't certain what was the right way I should phrase them.

Rubbing my temples I finally turned to him to look up at his face. It didn't help one bit, rather made things even more difficult. I sighed. "I'm sorry for your mom..." As a start, this might help to begin a conversation... "I didn't know..."

"You did, because I told you." He replied, causing me to feel guilt rising within me.

"I know... I just-... I just thought that... No... I doubted your words because I thought that you only made up these excuses after you got what you wanted from me. You always disappeared every single time we have been together." I explained.

He sighed. "I never lied to you."

"I felt used... because you never explained yourself and the reason why you left. Just left a sticky note for me with a few words and cash on the counter as if I was a hoe..." I didn't raise my voice, because first of all, we were in a hospital, second, I didn't feel the need for it. I simply wanted to let him know how I felt each time he betrayed me and left me alone after we slept together.

"I never meant it that way. I thought you know that. I didn't mean to make you feel like you were just a girl for me who I paid for. I would never..." He averted his gaze for a few seconds before continuing. He looked quite sad. "I left money for you so you didn't have to spend yours. You are a university student and we both know how expensive are your studies. I tried to be kind."

I looked at him in disbelief. We have been misunderstanding each other up until now.

"I'm sorry..." He said. "Really..."

Out of a sudden my phone buzzed. I took it out from my pocket and saw a new message on the screen by my brother. I wrote to him a few days ago and he didn't answer me. That is until now. The conversation between us wasn't too important, just a simple checking up. We did that frequently. I'm used to it that sometimes he doesn't answer me for days.

So I wrote back to him, then put my phone away.

"Just... go on if it's important." Kyojuro told me, rubbing the back of his neck. "I know how it goes."

I blinked several times, before actually replying. "It's not... It's just my brother. We check up on each other sometimes. He won't answer me again for a couple of days I guess. He always does that."

Kyojuro raised his brows in confusion. "Brother? You have a brother?" He asked.

"Yes. You know... I envy you." I smiled bitterly.

"Why?"

"Your mother spoke a few words about your family. A younger son, a husband, and you... You have a whole family. I only have my brother..." Staring at my shoes I unintentionally recalled my memories of the car accident, showing a sad face.

"I'm sorry." Kyojuro said to me after a couple of moments of silence. He noticed how my mood changed suddenly but he didn't question it. Perhaps he didn't want to open up my wounds.