Midnight Skies - A DabixReader Story

Just For Now

Dabi stands with his back to the door for quite some time, trying to regulate the heat that wanted to burst out of his skin. His fists clench and unclench by his sides as he tries to ignore the thoughts he was having.
They don't seem to relent though, and he ducks into an alleyway close by her house, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it with his finger, really having to control the power of the flame as it manifests from his skin as he stands, trying to collect himself.
He wants to lose it. He wants to allow the flames itching to leave his body to let loose, to let them chew up his skin just a little bit more. He's furious at his own behaviour, which was worse than being mad at someone else, because he could have controlled himself better.
Taking a long drag on his cigarette, he shakes his leg in annoyance. For a second there, he'd been a carbon copy of his old man. And that royally pissed him off.
He had even told himself when this all started, he was never going to force her into anything, and that he would try his hardest not to genuinely lose his temper with her.

And although he hadn't technically forced her into anything, he had seen the brief flash of panic that had crossed her face when he'd told her he'd come a long way to see her.
He hadn't even realised how that may have come across. He was only saying it out of frustration of her being in a bad mood with him after he'd walked so far to get to her place.
He was glad she felt comfortable to say no. He wanted that. But the rest had left a bad taste in his mouth.
He knew, deep down, she wasn't necessarily in the wrong for being mad. She never had made any indication that she wanted to join forces with him and the League. But he'd never implied she'd have to join them. He just needed her to get in that little scumbags head for a second or two to help them out, and then she could go.
And that's exactly what had happened.
He'd even had to persuade Shigaraki to allow Nakamura to come with them, to make sure Y/N wouldn't be seen, so that she could live a normal life still after the job was done, unlike the rest of them.

It had been hard work. Shigaraki was adamant he didn't want Nakamura anywhere near his girl after everything had gone down, and he's an incredibly hard man to win over once his mind is set on something.
Dabi takes another long inhale of his cigarette, his anger bubbling up inside him again.
She was so ungrateful. He'd had to work that bastard over for her and she didn't even give him an inch of recognition for it. He could have forced her to come along with them without the help of an invisibility Quirk quite easily, but he liked having her around by her own choice rather than being lumped in the same shitty shack as the rest of them because she was now a wanted person too.
He pauses for a second, his upper lip twitching in annoyance.
Ah fuck.
He liked having her around.
He hadn't planned for this. He'd deliberately kept himself distanced from everyone for this reason. There was no long haul plan here, his Quirk didn't fit his body, and it was inevitable he would die by its own power one day. He didn't want to leave anyone behind.

He lowers to a crouch, reaching to pet a cat that had appeared in the alleyway with him. As usual, the cat seems to take an immediate liking to him, climbing onto his lap.
Surprisingly, this seems to cool him off a bit more than the cigarette.
He mindlessly pets the cat, listening to its purrs as he considers going back in and just apologising. He wasn't overly convinced he was sorry. He just didn't want to go back. It was nicer with her, a more relaxing atmosphere, and dare he say it, he just felt safer.
Eventually, he stands, apologising quietly to the cat as it jumps to the floor. He hops her fence, making his way around to the window that he knew she tended to leave unlocked and slightly ajar, always taking it as a sign for him to let himself in.
He frowns when he sees it's shut, looking through and seeing her silhouette hunched over on the couch. The more he listens, the more he realises he can hear the unmistakable sounds of faint sobbing coming from inside the house.
He cringes, backing away from the house.
He was no use with crying. No use with emotions in general, really.

And it kind of made it worse that he was the cause of it.
He toys with his options for a few seconds. He could knock on the window or door and ask her to open up, but is gathering he'll either be yelled at or told to fuck off. He could at least try to make this right. He didn't want to be like his father.
His knuckles are about to tap on the glass when something inside him stops him from making any noise.
He'd seen that face she'd been wearing before. It was uncanny, like the lights were on but no-one was home. He'd seen her look like it after a yelling match before. He'd seen her flinch at the slightest noise, cry out if anyone made any sudden movements.
So he lowers his hand.
And he, a little reluctantly, begins to walk away.
He's still annoyed with himself as he walks all the way back to the abandoned shack the rest of the League had been holed up in for way too long. His mood sours more and more as he walks along, lighting cigarette after cigarette to 'take the edge off'.

By the time he reaches the hideout, he just wants to turn straight back around, go back to her and just have a hug. And the fact he wants that is so unbearably pathetic to him, that he just gets even angrier with himself for allowing one person to lower his walls so much.
When he walks into the hideout and sees the scene before him, everyone huddled around Fireworks, cuddling her like she was a shared plushie between them all, Dabi's initial reaction is to raise an eyebrow.
"I left for a little while. Now look how lame this party's gotten." He says, walking up to the others and looking down at them with his usual distant gaze.
He can't help himself, its like the second he walks in the door his persona is replaced with the Dabi they all knew him as rather than who he really was.
"Shh!" Toga urges, as Twice moves his head on Fireworks shins to look up at Dabi.
"Join in! Join in!" He whispers. "Fuck off, deadbeat."
Dabi shoots him a warning look despite knowing nothing was meant by it, and slowly begins to get closer to the cuddle pile on the floor.
A cuddle would be nice, as much as he hates himself for needing it. And it wouldn't be anywhere near the same comfort he got from Y/N, but it was something.

He looks at Shigaraki, his hands carefully placed upon her pink hair, stroking it in a manner that seems oddly gentle for him.
"What do you think boss?" He asks, not wanting to have a second argument over nothing today.
"I don't care what you do. Just be quiet." Shigaraki responds in his usual abrasive manner.
Dabi fights the urge to roll his eyes, but jumps at the chance to actually get some kind of hug after today, quickly sliding next to Toga, and wrapping his arm around the unconscious girls stomach gently.
It wasn't the same as Y/N, but he could pretend.
Just for now.