"Stay out of my head."
The words that cut Charles like a knife. He was used to hearing it by now, whenever someone learned that he was a telepath. Hearing it from Erik was what broke Charles. He knew the man liked his privacy but he didn't know what it was like for Charles. You couldn't just turn off telepathy. He had gotten used to not using it around Raven but it was different around Erik. He loved Erik. He was in love with him. And it broke his heart that the man he loved couldn't accept the thing that made him who he was. For the sake of not causing a fuss, Charles never said anything, until it became too much for him. One evening when he was playing chess with Erik, he finally snapped.
"I saw you talking to Raven today, what did you say to her?" Charles asked curiously.
Erik stared at Charles intently before responding "I told her that people would be idiotic for not accepting what her mutation was. In the future I want mutants to not fear rejection from their own kind. The humans will not be able to harm us, we will be safe and free."
Charles reached out to Erik's mind however he was met with Erik's sharp tone "I've told you to stay out of my head."
Charles felt his blood boil. For weeks he had been suppressing himself for the German mutant. For weeks he had held back. All because he was in love with him. But he didn't know the pain it put Charles through.
"You're such a hypocrite." Charles announced.
Erik stared at Charles, his face a mixture of fury, confusion and curiosity "what did you just say?"
The poison that laced his voice didn't bother Charles, instead it fueled his own rage, "you heard me," he spat, "you, Erik Lehnsherr, are a hypocrite."
Erik stood up and towered over Charles "and why is that?"
Charles stood up. He was shorter than Erik but that didn't matter, his mere presence demanded respect that was usually given.
"You go on and on about how mutants should accept each other yet each time we are together you force myself to suppress my mutation. Do you have any idea what that is like?" Charles fumed.
It was highly unusual for the Professor to get angry so seeing the expression on his normally calm friends face, Erik was surprised. He opened his mouth, sat back down then closed it again. Erik realised that he didn't know what to say.
"When you ask me to not use my power it's the worst. You are essentially asking me not to breathe. My power is quite similar to breathing. It's something I can't not do. It's hard to restrain myself from using it for long periods of time, similarly like it's hard to not breathe for long periods of time." Charles explained.
Erik's eyes widened, he had no idea that he did that to Charles.
"Do I ask you not to move metal when we are together? No. So on your logic that no mutant should hate another because of their power, should I have to restrict myself when we are together? No, I shouldn't have to. But I do. You don't want me in your head and I respect your privacy so I willingly cut off my oxygen supply in a manner of speaking so you can be comfortable. I hate doing it. But you ask me to so I do. I respect people's privacy. You should know that when I'm not restricting myself, I can't actually see into your entire mind. All I hear are the occasional thought of two. I have learnt to control my telepathy, restricting it is different. It takes a lot more concentration, especially in the evenings when I am tired." Charles continued.
"I..." Erik whispered.
"Raven asks me many times why I don't settle down in a relationship you know, but I can't tell her the truth. I tell her that I prefer casual flings and meaningless sex but that is far from the truth," Charles stared into Erik's eyes and laughed bitterly "The real reason I don't date is that I want the person I fall in love with to accept my mutation. I fucked that up, the one man I fell in love with can't bare my mutation, can't bare for me to be myself, can't bare for me to do the thing that is as natural as breathing."
Charles turned on his heel and stalked out of the office, leaving Erik on his own.
Shit.
Erik hid his head in his hands. He never knew. He never thought to ask either. He fucked up - he knew that. He wanted to make things right. The revelation that Charles was in love with him came as a shock, all those weeks he had thought that his feelings were one sided. In finding out that they were reciprocated, and in learning how much pain he put Charles in by the simple words he said so often, he knew he had to fix things. And fast. Or risk losing the man he loved.
Erik stood up and walked out of the office. He made his way down the dimly lit corridor and towards the room where he knew Charles' bedroom was. The door was shut. After taking a deep breath, the German man knocked on the door.
"Who is it?" The voice from inside the room called shakily.
"Why do you ask questions you already know the answer to my friend." Erik whispered.
The door opened and Charles stuck his head out. He had been crying, Erik realised, his eyes were bright red and puffy.
"What do you want?" Charles asked pointedly.
Erik stared at the man he loved so much it hurt. It was heartbreaking, seeing him cry, he could bare it.
"Can we talk?" Erik asked nervously.
Sighing, Charles stepped away from the door and allowed Erik to come into the room. Erik walked in after Charles shut the door he whispered "I'm sorry."
Charles sat down on his bed and looked up, slightly surprised "what?"
"I'm sorry Charles, I never knew...you were right, I was a giant hypocrite. I'm sorry. You don't deserve it. You have done so much for me these past few weeks and I pay you back by giving you more pain. I'm so so sorry my love, you don't have to hold back anymore, you can be who you are." Erik whispered, his voice hoarse, tears leaking out of his eyes.
Erik felt a warm presence in his mind. He realised that he quite liked it. It was soothing rather than unnerving. Charles pulled Erik onto the bed next to him then hugged him tightly.
"Thank you." He mumbled.
"Do you forgive me?" Erik asked.
Charles looked at Erik, a small smile forming on his face, "yes darling, I do."
The nickname made Erik freeze, he inhaled sharply, "how could you love me, after all I put you through?"
Charles brushed his hand through Erik's hair "you have a rather annoying habit of doing things that make it unable for me not to fall in love with you."
Erik chuckled weakly, "such as..."
"You have the most intriguing soul. You are passionate and intelligent, not to mention extremely handsome." Charles grinned.
"Says you." Erik muttered.
Charles blushed then asked, "do you want to be with me? You know, because if my mutation, it's not easy to keep things private."
Erik stared at Charles seriously "I love every part of you and want to be with you no matter what. The reason I didn't want you in my head was because I didn't want you finding out my feelings then not liking me back. I don't have anything to hide from you now Charles. I want you. I want all of you. I love you."
Charles beamed at Erik, "I love you too." The tears of sadness in his eyes had long since been replaced by ones of happiness.
Erik lent forward and captured Charles lips in his own. Charles gasped slightly before gently kissing the man back. When they eventually broke apart, they fell back onto the bed together, Erik's arms wrapped around Charles protectively.
Erik, stay here for the night?
I'd love too Charles.
Erik gently kissed Charles' head before falling asleep, holding Charles tightly.
