Just writing my thoughts about a loss that has recently happened to me..
My grief along with very mixed feelings.
All real. Very personal and just a journal.
Published July 8th, 2017.
How have these photos been a decade old? How? Please tell me how. My heart hurts so horribly. This time of year was some of my favorite with us and the children. I honestly can't bare it, I can't!!!!! So many memories are coming back up. Heaven was telling me how she still has the powder puff shirts. I remember when we were making those and we used yours as a sacrifice since you weren't there. The pictures we took. I miss you. This quote from a movie I was watching reminded me of you
"I am just so sick of feeling this pit of shit inside me And maybe I can just sever this this hate and finally just stop hurting. And I'm standing there, staring at this casket. And I can't help thinking, If I never truly cared for this girl, ever. then why am I standing here so fucking sad? Why do I have to feel the hate and the anger and the grief? Can I-- Can I be spared that? How is that fucking fair?!" That is exactly how I feel.
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