Published July 8th, 2017. Just writing my thoughts about a loss that has recently happened to me..
My grief along with very mixed feelings.
All real. Very personal and just a journal.
I was watching a documentary about a mother who murdered her daughter and tried to play it off as an accident and this popped up.
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Although the circumstances were completely different I just thought of you. I wonder who was the one that found you? Who tried to wake you up that day? I bet they thought you were being a goof as usual and pretending to play possum. Whoever it was probably laughed like " ok haha you got me. Now get up " Then when you didn't pop up and yell SURPRISE they realized something was wrong. That you weren't breathing. That's when the panic set in that you died in the middle of the night. I just can't even imagine the pain and the shock of finding your child/sister dead like that.. You were probably being a chatterbox as usual just the night before, even though you weren't feeling good. Nobody expected it. Today was the first day of school and I didn't see the children thank gosh. My teacher was using an example and she said " Mary Mary Mary! " then she repeated 2 other names but all I heard was yours. You never got to start your second year of college. Or your first. I was waiting in the hallway reading my book about medical conspiracies ( I had got it way before you died ) and one of the examples was of a boy who ate fish basically everyday. He got poisoned by something a fish ate before it got caught on his hook and he died. You died of the flu and of food poisoning. Your tuna eating in the middle of class just had me cracking up 😂 You and leftovers man, you kept those containers in your purse for DAYS.
