I haven't thought about you in a while. It's weird because although you occasionally cross my mind where I see something and think " wow Mary would've loved that. " you just haven't been there constantly anymore.
Suddenly tonight I found myself listening to fetus Cody Simpson and started remembering how much you loved him. He was one of your many white boys with blonde hair. I remember you talking about him in PE and you got mad when I said he looks like an ostrich. It's about to be Christmas and you aren't here. Another Christmas your family is missing you. I miss getting presents for you and the children. It's still hard heading your name and there's a pain in my heart right now while listening to your old jams. I went to DSPS today and they asked me about why I don't go into counseling. My first thought was I'll explode. Talking about not only my pain but the grief of losing everyone. It won't be worth it.
Edit: lol a couple minutes after posting this a random tweet roasting your favorite Irish boy popped up. I know you would've exploded at it. You would defend him to no end just like I would with Justin 😂
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grief & relief
RandomJust writing my thoughts about a loss that has recently happened to me.. My grief along with very mixed feelings. All real. Very personal and just a journal. Published July 8th, 2017.
